In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

Yeah I sympathise - I know someone like this. 10
years on they still have no job (but works as a ‘consultant’ so the money is very very up and down) - couldn’t find a job and now i think too
old.

Some interviews definitely take a week prepping or even more

A lot of delusional people here…

• seniorish roles take more than weeks to get. A lot more….
• even retail jobs require interviews and assessments
• no, you can’t always find work. The situation in the moment is bad. Really bad.
• apply, apply, apply is busywork, but if anything makes finding a job more difficult. Mass produced applications are easy to spot and definitely don’t get you the interview for a senior role. Quality over quantity.

I've been made redundant twice and it knocks you for six. The first time it took me a month to get myself sorted and applying for roles. When DH was made redundant I supported him and told him to take a bit of time to get his head round it. He then had chats with old contacts and in time got a new role.

I understand you are frightened but you need to take a breath. You have the redundancy payout and savings, he is looking for work and trying to find something.

Try and be a team on this, he will be scared too. It will be ok, usually after redundancy you find something better and it turns out to be a blessing in disguise.

He probably needs to lower his sights on salary and he needs to look after the children while you are actually working. I'm surprised you haven't saved much while he has been on a pretty huge salary, make sure you do save a lot of it if he gets a similar wage again. Hope he gets something soon.

So are you saying that, after paying the mortgage, 11k will only last you 2 months? What on earth do you spend it on?

He should be eligible for JSA if he was made redundant, though it doesn't pay much.

And he's hardly taking ages to find a job, it's only been a month. The job market is terrible.

Thus plus side is that he’s in his 30s not his 50s - he’s got a good chance of getting a new job and if not he’s young enough to retrain.

He was on £80k which although a fairly good salary would not allow anyone to keep their partner "in the high life". The OP also works btw.

He needs to get his finger out and help you more, and look for a job at the same time. He sounds like he is really in denial and I totally would be the same as you worrying. He sounds really selfish to me, and he is definitely not pulling his weight with the home and family. Swimming to set him up for the day? That would be stopping until he is bringing in a wage again. As would anything that is not essential that he is wasting money on. He really sounds like he has no clue.

Lots of the work you put into looking for a job ends up being fruitless. It’s impossible to tell what will end up working out for you. Sometimes jobs that seem below your level go nowhere and more ambitious applications do well.

I think it’s unfair to criticise him for networking or applying on his phone because they’ve not resulted in interviews yet - if he’s genuinely doing those things. It can be really disheartening to continuously apply for things and not get far.

I agree though that he should pull his weight in the house.

He can apply for contribution based JSA regardless of income or savings.

He need me to do that. Maybe then he’ll realise he’s a job seeker. He needs to be prepared to do any work at this point.

The 11k settlement sounds low tbh. What was it 2 months notice and statutory redundancy payment. Hopefully the solicitor appointed for you looked through it.

Have to say you sound less than sympathetic. Being made redundant for whatever reason is a shitty thing to happen and is soul destroying, especially if it's just you. Rather than silently blaming him which is what it sounds like, some support would help.

Jobs just don't fall into candidates' laps, if they ever did. So he's talking to recruiters about his own field which is a good starting point but maybe he needs to apply for any work to keep solvent. Can you discuss that with him.

Its only been a month.

Your husband has been through a massive shock.

Maybe take some time to, you know, be there for him as a partner and treat him as more than just an income?

All you seem arsed about is that your meal ticket is about to expire

This!
You need to have a proper sit down and a heart to heart. Can someone look after DC for a few hours whilst you sit down and go through things

• where can you save on expenses ? Shop in cheaper shops, cancel subscriptions, gym memberships and whatever else is not essential. The 11k could last longer if you are frugal
• go through all your finances with a tooth comb, work out what makes most sense eg paying off credit cards vs keeping savings. What savings can you access, is a mortgage holiday possible etc etc
• you need to sort out going back more days a week if that pays better. If there are 2 days childcare then he has 2 days of job seeking and 3 days of childcare
• you will then need to tag team a bit, so yes he can do calls in the evening if he's childcaring in the day and you can do kid's tea etc when you get home from work
• he needs a plan A , B and C for job hunting. So what are his no1 jobs he wants but what would he accept as alternative and what can he apply for as backup when money starts getting tight

100%

What field does he work in? My husband was made redundant at the start of last year from what sounds like a similar level, and it took 5 months to find a job on nearly half the salary, however it was in the same area of expertise, and a year on he's been promoted twice as positions became availalbe and is now back up to his previous level. However it took more than 500 applications, he was speaking to about 20 specalist headhunters and recruiters each week, and in the end what actually got him the job was a former colleague who he had remained friendly with recommended him for a role at the company he was at, knew it was lower level but it was a foot in the door so he took it. So it was the networking that paid off for him but it was a full time 40+ hours a week job to find a job for those 5 months.

It is a really hard job market. I can also understand why you are stressed. Can you take a mortage holiday? Longer term could you downsize?
I have friends made redundant who have found it very hard to find work and they are clever and capable people. So don’t assume your DH is useless.

You are being naive. Interviews don’t just happen in 2 weeks for senior roles on good package, it takes time after speaking to recruiters
It’s not a retail job

So how did you get a job when you were made redundant?

There's several different issues at play here. First is the job hunting - you need to assume that it will take time for him to secure a new role - id be saying that even if he was efficient (sounds like his isn't). Second is his general attitude towards how he can use his time now hes not working but job hunting. Im sorry but its absolute rubbish to say that job hunting takes the same amount of time as a full or even part time job. Don't countenance that. He's not pulling his weight at home at a time when he absolutely should. Rather than be resentful, just tell him how it has to be. Say what tasks he needs to pick up and its his job to work out how to do those things AND apply for jobs. Most people do apply for jobs while doing other jobs. Get firm with him.

When my husband had a stroke and was off work for months, the lender put our mortgage on hold for several payments.