In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

I think you need to be realistic. It's only been 2 weeks, and it can take ages to get an interview. The job market is at a low point thanks to Rachel Reeves who's made it much more expensive for employers to take people on due to NI increases and minimum wage increases. Give the man some slack and stop blaming him. It's not his fault. On the other hand, he needs to stop treating this as a holiday. Swimming? He should be pulling his weight with kids and housework!

To be fair the settlement agreement part was drip fed - firstly it was redundancy, then it was sacking, then finally the settlement was mentioned. We can only go off the information we are given.

Because NMW employers won’t hire the person who’s previous role was £80k and a specialism. Because they know they’ll leave as soon as they get a better role again. They want people who will stay not ‘for now’ employees with no customer service experience

It is fine to be worried and vent. But your expectations are unrealistic. Taking 2 weeks too get over job loss, making CV and sending first application is not unreasonable. It is not his fault that the recruiter discussions don't lead to anything, I get contaced by recruiters and the jobs are always a terrible fit. He can't be applying for jobs for 8h a day, that is unrealistic so he's using that as an excuse.

My bf used to do short term contracts and by the time his previous one was ending he already had 5 offers to pick from. But after the last one, nothing. Hiring freezees everywhere. Took him 11 months to find something (for half the pay).

You need to adjust your expectations, have him participate to family life more actively. And you need to talk how long you can afford him and you be out of work. At what point he needs to find literally any job and at what time you need to cut your maternity leave short for a fulltime job.

I think you're getting an extremely hard time. Yes, being made redundant is awful. But he sounds like he is dragging his feet and using it as an excuse to do very little of the job hunting or the household labour. Serious chat time, and you need to stop picking up slack for him. Of course he can help. I'm so sorry you are in this predicament, I do think you going back full time is the best option for now.

Both my husband and I have got our jobs through recruiters in the past

One of the questions on Mortgage applications is whether you anticipate a drop in income - people have been prosecuted for mortgage fraud in similar situations so you need to be very aware of this

He needs to get a job, any hours to work round your hours and you need to be going back full time and work the childcare between you.

Agree. You need to go back to work full-time asap and take both kids out of nursery so DH can look after them full time. He can then apply at weekends and evenings and have his chats then too. If he has interviews hire a babysitter for the couple of hours the interview takes.

Full time child care will focus his mind on making getting another job and actual priority.

What is he looking for - if he is holding out for the same role on the same money he could be looking for ever. He needs to be open to going in at a lower level and working his way back up.
But with a new baby and you on maternity leave, he needs to get to a temp agency and get some money coming in while he is looking

I was going to say 4 wks is nothing, but I got made redundant so was full time mum plus applying/interviewing non stop. I got a new job in 4 months. There’s no reason he can’t be helping with childcare and housework.

Wow way to stress someone out, the op should not be keeping on at him or asking every day what he has applied for. He is a grown man capable of earning a 80k salary, give him some credit. The op needs to be supportive but let him take the lead here in his own job search.

Time for emergency measures. At the least you should go back to work full time and take the kids out of childcare. It’s a huge expense while you have a parent at home. He will have to apply for jobs at the weekend or during the evenings.

It sounds like you are carrying all the extra burden while he’s just watching you sink under the strain.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/new-style-jobseekers-allowance might he be eligible for this? Savings don't count - not sure how the settlement would be considered - check with Citizens Advice

YANBU.

DH was let go via settlement agreement (we're also telling people it's redundancy as like this thread shows people just don't understand a settlement agreement) 4 weeks ago. He's applied for 20+ jobs, had 5 first stages interviews, 4 seconds stage, got 2 more 1st stage this week. He's had a job offer he has turned down (for legitimate reasons that we both agreed on).

We are in a financial position where we can cope until Christmas without issue and then beyond that with some sacrifices and belt tightening but even so, DH hasn't sat on his laurels. Finding a job is his number 1 priority and he's taking it very seriously.

Our place does the same very blatantly. They don't call it relocating the role, although that's what they are doing. They say 'this role no longer exists in the UK'. Then they recruit someone to do the same work from India or the Philippines.

Nobody will employ somebody like him on national minimum wage, retail etc , except maybe for seasonal work . Why would they? He’s not going to stay!
applying to these is a complete waste of time.
Some people on here are completely delusional…. A divorced mum with 2 children is most certainly worse off. An unemployed husband pays no support, and the house has a high mortgage.

That’s fine if he was helping out but he’s not even helping her do the breakfast for the toddler while OP has been up breast feeding in the night! He’s fucking off for a swim!
Honestly OP I don’t think some people have read all your responses!
Yes he needs to put the hours in looking for a job but he can do his share at home too! There is nothing stopping him putting a wash on or running round with the hoover or helping with the breakfast I mean people WFH doing a full time job seem to manage it!
if you go back to work an extra day he’s going to have to pull his weight!

The same thing happened to me recently - I felt I had been discriminated against due to pregnancy and spoke up when I should have kept quiet. I was very conveniently made redundant 6 weeks before I was due to return from maternity leave.

Your husband is probably feeling annoyed at himself for not getting on with his manager. Perhaps also daunted by the job search and fearful of the job market. It can take a few weeks to process all those feelings. Give him some time and be patient with him. I'm sure he is feeling very bruised and more pressure won't help matters.

Thankfully I secured a role a few weeks ago and am going through security checks at the moment. I did all of my job applications via mobile so I can well believe that this is true.

Have some faith and keep supporting him! He'll do it!!!

The OP is not currently working. She's on maternity leave and the children are in nursery. She says she's going back 2 days a week from next week.

All good ideas.

So because of his behavior and failures, you are being treated like a slave, committing mortgage fraud, and just.. letting him fanny about with useless recruiters? Enough.

Useless because it took him 2 weeks to write a CV and meanwhile OP is covering all the childcare and housework while working!!

2 WEEKS??? For a CV? While you work full-time and childcare and housework?

He’s taking the absolute piss.

Fully agree with this. It may not be what was planned but it’s absolutely fine to go back at nine months and is far more leave than many women around the world get (many of my international colleagues eg France came back at six months.)