In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

This. The OP has 8 month old baby, is doing all the mental load and childcare and is going back to work to provide as best she can.
Her husband is starting the day with an expensive, leisurely swim and baking bread.
I don’t feel that sorry for him.

"No, you are not going swimming! You need to accept some of the load of the day!"

Get through to him by force even if it causes a massive row. Why are you walking on eggshells around him?

I took voluntary redundancy last year, left in August, applied for about 2 jobs a day which didn’t take much time in the grand scheme and could be done around childcare. Applied to agencies also - got a temp job in September so was out of work for a month - worked hard at it and now in a perm job for the same company. 4 weeks out of work. All these people saying it always takes months aren’t necessarily right if you aren’t choosy. My husband has just been told he is at risk of redundancy this July and as we have a mortgage and a family he’ll be applying for everything he can even if it’s not the same salary. Any job is better than no job and we can’t afford to be picky. I have his indeed login and last time just applied for things all the time on his behalf - use AI to help with cover letters but ensure it’s all factual. It can be soul destroying and demoralising though so maybe just ask if he wants some help?

All the people doubting the pay off: his salary was with comissions. Comissions are not taken into account for any sort of pay off. Base salaries in sales roles with comissions tend to be low, so the payout is low.
Most employers don’t move sales studf abroad, way too expensive.
Most employers cut traveling roles to the bone, as they are expensive.
Applying for national minimum wage jobs is a waste of time in the moment. It will serouly reduce his chances of getting anything else.
Men have emotions and are allowed to feel shock and grief as well. He needs some time to recover to have a reasonable chance at the next interview!
Going back full time after maternity leave isn’t an injustice, it is perfectly normal.
Yes, he needs to do more childcare and home stuff, but give him some time to recover!

I thought OP wasnt supportive until reading she does everything around kids as he goes swimming to start a day well and then he fucks around most of the day and cant do more childcare because 'he is applying for jobs', so she cant herself take more days at work to get more money in.

Were you full time before? If so you need to go back full time, then he will need to step up. You need to wake up and be the bread winner even if it’s in the short term. I’m sorry to say you don’t sound very supportive at all. The job market is tough at the moment and the reality is it could take him a long time to find another job if any description let alone one that pays anywhere near his current salary. It maybe he needs to re evaluate things and change direction and maybe train to di something else!

My DH had the same situation earlier this year. He was being bullied at work and would definitely have met the criteria for constructive dismissal but his employer offered a settlement agreement and, as he was by then suffering from severe depression, he took it. Despite his illness, he applied for all sorts of jobs, some paying much less but he just wanted money coming in to keep us afloat. Some of the jobs were not ideal but he genuinely would have done anything. Those first few interviews were a learning experience but, within 4 weeks, he had found a suitable role that pays a bit less than his previous job but he enjoys so much more.

I was so worried about his health that I just went along with how he wanted to do things but it does sound like that’s not the case in your situation as your dh doesn’t seem to be unwell, just treating himself to a leisurely search with no sense of urgency?
I think you need an honest talk together for you to explain your concerns and him to explain why he needs so much ‘relaxing’ time while affording you none. You should be working as a team - swimming can happen when he has helped start the day for his family!

More and more companies are using staff in Asia it’s far cheaper to employ them than someone in the uk! This is exactly why call centres are relocating!

You don’t sound very supportive unfortunately, you say you have a lot of credit card debt, you need to speak to them and work out a payment plan, some may even freeze the interest for a few months. Doing nothing will impact your credit file far more than negotiating with them!

My husband lost his job two years ago, he has never got back to the same earning level. He’s an incredibly hard worker who puts days into job applications, he has two doctorates and is the sort of person that people instantly warm to, he’s credible in every way, positive in attitude and incredibly engaging. There are no jobs.

it shows how bad the market actually is, and at a much lower level, I haven’t worked in 10 years and have a face like a smacked arse half the time but I’m nicely confident - nothing for me either. I’m a journalist and AI has fucked it up for me.

You really are out of touch there are around 700,000 vacancies and 1.78 million unemployed in the UK currently, so far more people looking for work than vacancies! If you’re in a high paying role an employer paying the minimum wage won’t be interested as they know you won’t stay! It’s an employed market currently!

You’ve misunderstood OP, they wanted someone in Asia doing the job, it doesn’t sound like relocating was an option! This is happening with so many companies, it’s far cheaper to employ Asians to do the job, salaries are lower! This is nothing to do with constructive dismissal however it seems like due process wasn’t followed, employers are supposed to pay for legal advice for someone being made redundant to go through the settlement and ensure it’s legal and fair.

I get that you're worried about money, but you're being downright horrible and unsupportive.

It sounds like his role was made redundant with little notice, and after having gone through the process of agreeing his compromise agreement, you haven't allowed the poor bloke any time to process what has happened, and have started making up reasons why it's his fault his employer restructured, and you've labelled his redundancy as a sacking.

He earns more than you in a niche sector, so to get a job with a similar salary, yes, he is going to have to have lots of meetings and chats, and he can't do that with children hanging off him. A decent senior CV takes time to write, and sending off a badly written one quickly is more harmful than waiting a few more days to polish one up.

You have savings, and that's what they're for. To tide you all over until he finds another job. It's unlikely to be tomorrow - more like a few months, minimum.

Be worried together. Work out how long he can look for the same work before dropping expectations and looking for a lower paid job together. Don't attack him out of fear. To get through this, you have to be on his team, not blame him for things that aren't his fault.

Wishing your family all the best.

To echo what others have said on this thread. Depending on how senior he was, can be a long process. My DH was made redundant a while back. Took 15 months to secure another role, and he ended up having to accept a 50% reduction in salary. It’s not an easy job market out there atm and recruitment is a very very slow process.

The job market is dire at the moment (thanks Rachel from accounts) because many companies have had to cut their workforce/halt recruitment to pay the irresponsible hike in empoyer NI and min wage. There are hundreds of applications for even lower waged jobs in supermarkets and warehouses. Many jobs now are reached through personal contacts so DH chats with ex coleagues and people he knows may come to something yet. Lets hope so.

Why would you ever carry a credit card debt when you have “just as much in savings” and can pay it off?

OP you have to tell them he's been made redundant. It's fraud not to.

I know you're panicking and this makes everything feel so much worse, but you need to be upfront. And since he is unlikely to get a job, even if he had interviews lined up, that hire him today, talking to your current provider about going interest only ASAP is more likely to keep your finances afloat, even if that interest is going by 200 a month.

I do see why you wonder how much effort he's putting in. The ducking out of housework and childcare to go swimming and have chats with recruiters really does reek of someone coasting. I think putting the domestic stuff totally on him while you go back to work full time is far more likely to push him into a more full on job hunt. Is also the most secure route financially. I would say drop the nursery, but I know spaces can be like gold dust in some areas and getting one once he does get a job may be hard so you may need to keep that expense.

Cut back on everything else to make you money last and get him claiming JSA (which I assume he's entitled to if he's been working a while, or has that changed recently?).

There’s a lot going on in your post, but you’re being unreasonable in thinking every chat with a recruiter should immediately result in an interview. That’s not how it works.

Recruiters build their database of contacts that will include potential candidates (like your DH) and employers. At any given time, there is not one suitable vacancy for every candidate. The chats will be the recruiters getting to know him and build a profile, so that when a suitable vacancy comes up, they will contact him and any other candidates they have on their database to put them forward.

It might be in a week, a month or a year for them to come back to him with an opportunity that matches his profile. They don’t have a magic supply of jobs to immediately offer every candidate they speak to.

He needs to pick up some of the cooking and cleaning and household labour that you don’t he’s not working currently. If you can work and do those things then he certainly can and also apply for jobs.
btw chat gpt can help do a cv in 1second so two weeks spent making a cv is appalling!!!
being made redundant is a shock but at some point he needs to pull it together …

It depends. If you are interviewing for a Google or Amazon you better spend at least 40 hours prepping

Sounds like a redundancy because his role was no longer available, rather than a sacking. The job market is brutal at the moment and it may take him some time to find the right thing. He may well be applying for lots of jobs, it’s very difficult to get an interview and lots of companies are using AI to sift the applications, so he must make sure he is using keywords from the job description and tailor the application to each specific job to avoid the ‘computer says no’. It may be getting him down, it’s obviously very demoralising being constantly rejected/not selected for interview. It has taken me 18 months to get a permanent role and I had to take a zero hours job until then and just pick up as many hours as I could. It may be best to get any job he can initially just to keep some money coming in and not have too long a gap in employment, whilst he looks for the right role. Could he sign up for uber or Amazon deliveries, and keep looking. Could you take in a lodger (appreciate you have a baby) or see if you are entitled to any benefits? The ego may have to be put to one side and you might both need to lower your expectations initially, it is very, very difficult at the moment. Certainly a very humbling experience having just been through it myself.

I think I’d have to tell him I’m extremely stressed about money, and he needs to convey to me that he cares about this too. No more Facebook marketplace, and more chores around the house is how you can productively use your time. You don’t seem to realise that in 3 weeks I have to give notice at nursery and you will be job hunting while parenting. You can plot Job Strategies while loading the dishwasher.

So you’re carrying all the housework and childcare load and he is faffing about with bread and Facebook?

I would tell him he either makes finding work a full time job or he does most of the housework and childcare and looks for a job in the evenings. Lazy git.

I don’t know if that’s fair, I don’t know his industry but in mine there is an a apply by date, and they don’t arrange interviews until that date has passed. So if he’s only been applying for jobs for two weeks then he may not hear back for another week or so.

also it’s completely unreasonable that he’s unemployed and you’re only going back two day. If you can get more hours then he needs to do the childcare while you’re at work. When you come home you can take over and he can apply for jobs in the evenings and at weekends. The money will last a lot longer and you’re going to need it. It’s all hands on deck until he finds something

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I can not believe how many people are chastising you and saying you should support your husband. The bar for men is so low! He goes swimming or bakes bread while you wrangle the kids and do the housework? Does he ever do the housework? He sounds like something from the 1950's. Did he do housework beforehand? My partner works full-time in a full-on job but also helps with child care, cooking, and cleaning.

One thing I would say is that he does sound like he could have ADHD. It might be worth getting him to sign up for an assessment, as it could help with motivating him to do things and stop opting out of his responsibilities as he doom scrolls Facebook Marketplace. There is honestly no excuse for laziness, though.

If it were me, I would also hand him the children and walk out of the house sometime - make him do some actual childcare. I would also have him install social media blockers on his phone that block certain sites and social media for set periods of time or during specific parts of the day. I have used them myself, as I can fall down the social media rabbit hole and find I have done nothing for an hour or two - it is hard to motivate yourself to apply for jobs (particularly if you have an ADHD interest-based brain), so apps like that work to remove temptation. Remove the TV remote, too! Tell him he needs to stick to a schedule - in the morning, he helps get the kids ready - then 9.30 am until 12.30 pm, he looks for jobs and applies for things religiously. Then after lunch, he can do some chores, grocery shopping, or cook dinner - his choice. If he has a job application, he needs to spend all day on you can revise that, but with the social media blocker on!