In despair. Husband is taking ages to find a role

My so. Has applied for some summer work student. So far no responses The closing dates are still a week away. I do think it’s hard out there.

how about approaching the bank now for a emergency change to mortgage. You could
go interest only for a year or similar. Also cut out all spending that isn’t essential.

it’s shit but I suspect many of us will
be in this position soon with ai.

I know it’s not reassuring to hear but it’s a really tough job market right now. My DH is changing tech roles and it took him months to find one this time, normally he has headhunters contacting him and can choose between offers.

He needs to pull his weight in the meantime though. We’d all like to set our day up with swimming and do one task like job hunting without any distractions! The reality is he could be out of work for a while so you need to find a fair division of tasks whilst he does and he’ll need to compromise.

Good luck, I hope he’s back in work soon.

Even stocking shelves is very hard to come by. Those days are gone.

How is he / you planning to cover childcare and pick ups if he can't possibly look after the dc whilst job hunting?

Not by using savings, surely? He will have to get himself organised. He doesn't need to be endlessly scrolling with a little rest to bake bread, go for a swim.

Also, it doesn't take 2 weeks to do your cv if you have nothing else to do The moment he knew it was going to be over, he should have polished it.

Recruiters and job sites/ networking sites are 24/7 now and remote too. No need to waste time and money going to London unless it's a second interview or something. He could job search evenings and take calls during the day, between 2-4 or something.

I have sympathy. But he needs to use his time better.

Substantial research on the company (read website/ financial statement/ news articles about them/ press releases/ other publications /wikipedia page or other sources/ info from competitors. Look at linked in profiles of the interviewers.
try and predict questions they might ask and think about potential answers.
sort out what wear and how to get there /other logistics
think about questions you want to ask them.
google research on the companies normal interviewing style /process. If through a recruiter have decisions with the recruiter on what to prepare.

Ah, I thought a relocation was in the offering.

The job market is not great at the moment so it might take time for him to find a similar job.

However if your husband can drive and has no medical issues he could easily find work as a delivery driver or cab driver in the meantime.

And he also needs to pull his weight at home.

I would have a serious conversation with him and tell him that the current situation can't carry on.

They weren’t offering to move him. It is the job that is being relocated to someone in Asia (this is likely to cheaper for the company)

A week? What on earth do you do?!

It took my partner about 6 weeks after he lost his job to start work at another company. The job wasn’t advertised - it was a referral from a friend and they made an introduction to another company.

During that time he considered moving cities and only coming home on weekends.

I spoke with friends and one person told me her husband quit his job due to stress and didn’t work for an entire year. I asked how they coped and she said she didn’t remember a lot of that year. I don’t think he was actively looking for work for that time.

Your husband needs to find some sort of work if he won’t do anything around the house. Even if it’s doing doordash or uber or even stocking shelves. He can’t just stay at home.

It sounds like your husband isn’t interested in finding work. Why is he buying stuff on Facebook? Why is he going to London? If it’s networking then I could understand it - but it’s not.

I don't think he is taking remotely "ages" to find a role - not in this day and age and all the moaning about that seems like out-of-touch exaggeration. I appreciate you're worried about the long-term though if he doesn't pick up work soon.

However (!) he should be doing the lion's share of the housework and drop offs and pick ups at the moment. I wouldn't let that slide one more day. He can do his job applications around these commitments. It might be that having to do more of the drudge work at home concentrates his mind a bit more into finding a new job - at the moment it sounds like you're doing more or less everything.

a mum is allowed to care about her ‘meal ticket’ when it’s what pays for the roof over their heads and feeds their young children.

People are going on about this settlement agreement. Statutory redundancy for someone his age with 4 years service is 4 weeks pay and the weekly pay is capped at £751. The settlement agreement part likely relates to the fact that his redundancy payment is enhanced over and above statutory, it is not an indication that this wasn’t a redundancy situation.

Others saying he should be applying for NMW jobs. They don’t have a NMW lifestyle, so he needs an equivalent job to the one he’s lost in order to maintain the same standard of living and outgoings. He can’t apply for suitable roles whilst working full time in a NMW job which is likely to be inflexible as well as low paid. It’s not a question of it being beneath him. The OP has expectations of her own.

They have to be realistic about budgeting and their savings will take a hit, but they have enough money to last many months and it’s unreasonable to be carrying on like this after a month. He’s in sales, he will get a job, but give him a minute. In the meantime he should apply for JSA which is not means tested and be pulling his weight at home whilst he’s not working.

A lot of people have no idea how hiring works…
Similar to sad-face daily mail posters “i apply for 200 jobs a day and don’t get anything “. yes, that’s the problem. one decent, thought through application is worth more than 500 mass produced ones that won’t make it through the first screening.
Taking time to think while keeping hands busy (baking, swimming, …) is not s bad idea. Sitting in front of a computer doesn’t equal good work. Mass produced letters do more damage than good.
Job searching experience from more than 12 months ago is useless. things have changed drastically.
Nobody likes to hire people who are over qualified . They won’t stay, not worth training them up, there are hundreds with the right qualification level.

@saminamama. He needs to claim for Job Seekers Allowance, It is not means tested - your savings won't count against you. It's £95 per week.

He'll be expected to demonstrate that he's applying for jobs and will be assigned a coach to support him.
The coach will nag him and demand evidence of actions, rather than you so it may help on two fronts.
Wishing you luck.

This.

I would go through finances with him immediately. This might focus his mind. And then I would contact the mortgage company and see if you can make an arrangement to pay the interest only. If you do this now the money will stretch much further. I would cancel all unnecessary payments and I mean all - TV subscriptions, Spotify, kids clubs not needed for child care, anything not essential if you had no money for food. Look at your money and see if you can double the length it lasts.
Can he cover some childcare and save money or do you not need to pay for anything? What about half-term?
I would suggest he registers with an agency and discusses his CV with them, this will give him something to work on, feedback is helpful.
Get him to plan his time during the day and list what he's been doing, so that he's accountable.
Get his LinkedIn up to date, and he needs to start posting about his skills.
Best of luck, you need a plan.

He needs to get a driving job or something. Better than nothing. He can stil look alongside it. Amazon Flex maybe.

I have been in a restructure for the last three months and as of last week I have been made redundant. The job market is awful at the moment, I'm still looking. I feel exasperated and tired from it all. I have had enough of everyone's advice or being asked questions about it.

I did have someone call me yesterday about a job he first let me know about in March, he's put me forward as the only applicant as my work experience would slot in to the role but its a FTC which I have never had that before. I really don't believe it will happen because that is currently how cynical I feel about the job market having been let down so many times.

Thankfully I have a payout the size of your savings with a small mortgage and I own my car outright.

What this has taught me is you can't rely on your salary anymore and I'm, currently setting up a small business to run at the weekends so I no longer have just one income.

I was "managed out" in January 2025. I'm still looking ☹️ (my software license was taken away so I couldn't continue doing my job and then I was told there was no work to do. I wish I fought for redundancy. Hindsight is wonderful)

It's the worst job market I have ever seen!

Recruiters are all gushing at first and then they ghost you.

LinkedIn is full of fake roles to inflate the businesses "success" (e.g if they're advertising a Head of Technical then they "must" be doing well. Only that role is fake) -

the last two companies I worked for did this to gain funding from investors!

Also, ageism. I'm 40 and I've been told by a recruiter that I'm "getting on a bit..." 😳 they shouldn't say things like that but they do because they know we will jump through hoops for a job - any job!

You seem quite dismissive of his efforts. Networking is not something I particularly enjoy, but it’s recommended for all job seekers particularly for higher end jobs. Also being suspicious of why he was let go will doubtless be leaking through in your interactions with him.

Unfortunately the market is tight at the moment and really the more people he can speak to the better. They may not have a job right now, but if they have spoken to him and remember him positively, there’s a lot more chance they will think of him when one does come up. Applying for jobs mostly seems to work for non executive roles these days.

OP ignore this, it's terrible advice in a situation like this.@PineConeOrDogPoo your way off the mark here.

If they pay off the debt and he still doesn't have a job at the end of the left over savings they cannot use their credit cards to pay to pay the mortgage but they would of been able to use there savings to pay it. Instead they can pay the minimum payment on the credit cards and use all the saving to prioritise the mortgage.

Sounds like he needs a bullet up his backside, lay it all out for him in black and white and make sure he knows the position your in.He needs to get his head out of the sand and be proactive, he shouldn't be relying on you to carry all the worry and sort it all out.

Well he might have said yes to the move so not sure there’s any point dwelling on that.

If you know the sort of roles he can apply for would it be worth looking some up yourself on Indeed etc and passing them on to him. That way you’ll at least get an idea how pro-active he’s being in pursuing jobs.

It doesn’t sound like this guy was on minimum wage. The NI hike in a company that employed less than five people in this country’s hardly been impacted.
This is a knock on effect from Brexit from the pandemic. It’s the perfect storm.
Whoever was in power at this time in history was going to be in trouble, which is why the Tori’s actively made sure that it wasn’t gonna be them
What short memories people have?