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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to worry my 14-year-old son is talking marriage?

116 replies

ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 00:48

My 14 year old son has a 14 year old girlfriend. They're the cutest thing. The lovey dovey stuff they do is mostly adorable but my son is saying he wants to marry her and she's saying she wants to marry him. It's getting too intense.

She became the center point in his life, his top priority. I know, I know, teen boys are gonna be teen boys but this is overboard.

The girl, she's autistic and she has only been in my country since this school year. My son is her closest friend.

I'm a little concerned that the emotions are too intense.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 03:28

YankSplaining · 01/05/2026 03:00

In what ways is she the center point of his life and his top priority?

He talks about her all the time. They communicate on social media a lot. His hobbies and free time are centered around her. He's trying to learn her native language. He's talking about plans about his future than involves her.

OP posts:
Bloodycrossstitch · 01/05/2026 03:04

You’re overthinking it.

At 14 marriage is a party and a pretty dress and a big cake and just what people do when they’re in love. They don’t think of it as a legal or financial commitment.
Keep an open dialogue about him with it. Don’t shut it down but encourage him to chat with you about and help set sensible expectations.

A chat about consent and contraception and what not wouldn’t go amiss though if that’s something you've not already spoke about

YankSplaining · 01/05/2026 03:00

In what ways is she the center point of his life and his top priority?

Original poster
ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 02:30

LBFseBrom · 01/05/2026 02:23

I do. It was sweet in its way, he was so protective of her - and she was older than him.

He is 47 this year and still not married! However that is another story, he does have a girlfriend who is about 44 I think, she's divorced with two children. He's a good chap, lots of fun and travels the world for work.

I will never forget his first love, how they used to talk to each other, so tenderly. She had a brother several years older and would occasionally smoke one of his cigarettes. My son didn't like smoking at that time and she promised she wouldn't do it any more.

She went away on holiday with her parents and brother, when she came back she was straight round to our house and confessed to son that she had had one cheeky cigarette while she was away. He took her hand and said, gently, "I forgive you". It was hilarious (I managed to stifle my laughter).

No harm done (no pregnancy), they went their separate ways.

Our sons sound a little similar.

My son is currently very sweet, tender, and protective of his girlfriend. It's very adorable in a movie sort of way.

For me as a kid, it was never like that.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 01/05/2026 02:23

I do. It was sweet in its way, he was so protective of her - and she was older than him.

He is 47 this year and still not married! However that is another story, he does have a girlfriend who is about 44 I think, she's divorced with two children. He's a good chap, lots of fun and travels the world for work.

I will never forget his first love, how they used to talk to each other, so tenderly. She had a brother several years older and would occasionally smoke one of his cigarettes. My son didn't like smoking at that time and she promised she wouldn't do it any more.

She went away on holiday with her parents and brother, when she came back she was straight round to our house and confessed to son that she had had one cheeky cigarette while she was away. He took her hand and said, gently, "I forgive you". It was hilarious (I managed to stifle my laughter).

No harm done (no pregnancy), they went their separate ways.

Original poster
ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 02:07

LBFseBrom · 01/05/2026 02:05

My son was going to marry his first girlfriend when he was fourteen. They were 'engaged'. They talked about their wedding, he chose his best man, she worked out who she wanted as bridesmaids and what sort of dress she would wear

They were obsessed with each other..

It fizzled out eventually.

It is quite normal, they will calm down. Please don't worry except to make sure.....you know what.

Thank you

It's weirdly comforting that someone understands.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 01/05/2026 02:05

My son was going to marry his first girlfriend when he was fourteen. They were 'engaged'. They talked about their wedding, he chose his best man, she worked out who she wanted as bridesmaids and what sort of dress she would wear

They were obsessed with each other..

It fizzled out eventually.

It is quite normal, they will calm down. Please don't worry except to make sure.....you know what.

Original poster
ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 01:51

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 01/05/2026 01:49

there saying your right to worry, and basically do what you can to prevent the relationship, however that could have the opposite effect and make the relationship stronger,

Show quote history

Oh okay.

Well, I don't necessarily want prevent their relationship. Just for it to be less intense.

OP posts:
CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 01/05/2026 01:49

ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 01:44

I'm confused. Are you saying I'm right to worry or wrong to worry?

Show quote history

there saying your right to worry, and basically do what you can to prevent the relationship, however that could have the opposite effect and make the relationship stronger,

Original poster
ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 01:44

mathanxiety · 01/05/2026 01:30

I voted YABU because of the cute/ lovey dovey / adorable language you used.

Get your son into extra curricular activities asap or you'll end up with a grandchild to being up.

There's nothing cute about this relationship. The girl's parents need to give their heads a wobble and take better care of her. You need to pour several gallons of ice cold water over this.

I'm confused. Are you saying I'm right to worry or wrong to worry?

OP posts:
CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 01/05/2026 01:41

medieval times they would already be married etc.

that said time will tell

mathanxiety · 01/05/2026 01:30

I voted YABU because of the cute/ lovey dovey / adorable language you used.

Get your son into extra curricular activities asap or you'll end up with a grandchild to being up.

There's nothing cute about this relationship. The girl's parents need to give their heads a wobble and take better care of her. You need to pour several gallons of ice cold water over this.

Original poster
ThatElatedRubyCat · 01/05/2026 01:15

Blueeyedmale · 01/05/2026 01:02

When it's someone's first relationship especially teenagers and it's serious emotions can often get intense, I remember my first girlfriend around 13 we were always taking about how we were going to get married have babies etc, it's just children getting excited about being in a relationship, I personally wouldn't worry too much, but if it is concerning you have s chat with your ds and say you are concerned things are getting too intense.

A chat to tell him to be careful with the marriage talk?

To just enjoy his youth. To avoid potentially upsetting her parents.

OP posts:
Blueeyedmale · 01/05/2026 01:02

When it's someone's first relationship especially teenagers and it's serious emotions can often get intense, I remember my first girlfriend around 13 we were always taking about how we were going to get married have babies etc, it's just children getting excited about being in a relationship, I personally wouldn't worry too much, but if it is concerning you have s chat with your ds and say you are concerned things are getting too intense.

JoyLoveJoyInOrbitNsoul · 01/05/2026 01:00

Hope contraception and sex have been discussed.
I remember those intense teen feelings.

Changeitbacktomorrow · 01/05/2026 00:59

Well the lucky thing is they won’t be able to get married for a good while yet. I suspect by then it will have become a self-rectifying problem.