To tell friend she can't come on holiday if she doesn't pay her share?

What’s an “indigenous Briton” when it’s at home?

Not to derail the thread, but be careful what you wish for. If you like being able to use the NHS, for example, don’t wish immigrants that work in it away, else you’ll be asking ChatGPT how to do heart bypass surgery in a decade or so.

Well, it's some kind of contribution, I'll give you that. We'll leave it at that, and try to be civilised about it apart from your Farage jibe.

Population of France grew from 58m to 69m in the same period, so pretty similar.

My thoughts are that immigrants make a welcome contribution to UK society. Your thoughts are clearly more of the Farage variety.

Well not if the OP says she's invited someone else instead

She is the reason her kids won’t get a holiday. Remember that.

It’s not your problem, if she doesn’t pay, she doesn’t go.

The main issue is as she thinks you’re a walkover, would she just turn up at the holiday home anyway - even though you would’ve told her she can’t go? As from how you have described her it sounds like that’s something she would do, to guilt trip you and put you on the spot.

Edited to add - she’s not a friend and please do not get upset if/when she falls out with you.

No, I don’t. Do spell it out.

It means, as a nation, we've become so spinless, and we're such mugs now. You know what I mean by overrun.

Hahahaha - what the heck has that got to do with the state of the country? What do you mean by overrun? 🤔

And she'd probably expect you to pay for everything while you're away too.

It’s only intended as ‘faux kindness’ 🤣 I wouldn’t feel kindly at all! But I think reacting with feigned kindness entertains no argument whatsoever.

It may elicit a sob story, in which case I’d respond with a bland ‘that sounds hard. Hopefully next time’.

The only reason to pay and proceed with the holiday would be if you thought it’d increase the chances of her paying you back the money in full.

More likely though that you’d spend more money and not get it back.

You are kinder than I would be, @Didimum . I would be cross - “look - we agreed this ages ago and now I’m on the hook for twice the money I expected to be. If you’re now not coming, then I’m going to have to see if anyone else wants to come or see if I can switch to a smaller place (she doesn’t need to know you can’t)…..”

As loads of others have said, the only person whose fault it is if her kids don’t go on holiday is hers (or the fault of their father if he’s not supporting them properly). Why should you be making donations to her when she’s basically lied to you and fobbed you off? She doesn’t sound like much of a friend.

But you're not the reason her kids don't get a holiday - she is! If she'd paid you as she was supposed to, her kids would be getting their holiday

I would message her kindly but not even mention the prospect of you covering the holiday. ‘Hi Sally, oh no, that’s such a shame you can’t afford to come. We’ll really miss you, but hope we can make it work another time.’

You won’t be the reason, their Mum is. She doesn’t have the money. It’s all about priorities isnt it? You prioritised your holiday so saved money to go. She didn’t, knowing that you’d pay.
She is really taking advantage of your good nature. Tell her that you can’t afford to pay for it all. Will she also be saying she can’t pay for drinks at night or a meal out? I’d try to find someone else to go with.
She’s put you in a horrible position but you are not responsible for funding her kids holiday.

You’re no more the reason her kids don’t get a holiday than I am the reason her kids don’t get a holiday, as I won’t be funding it either.

It’s on her to provide for her kids, not you. Don’t feel guilty.

I think the friendship would end even if the OP did pay for her CF friend. She would end up paying for everything including the ice creams and would resent it.

You aren't. Their mother is the reason.

‘paying for them is taking money from your own kid’

Poor decisions from you so far.

Can you cancel the accommodation without much penalty and find cheaper for you and your DC?

Was her plan always to have a free holiday courtesy of you? You’re not being mean, you’re just not being a doormat.

Be prepared for your friendship to end. Tbh that might not be such a bad thing.

She’s the reason her kids won’t get a holiday, not you.

YOU are not the reason her kids won't get a holiday; SHE is the reason. Hindsight is a marvellous thing, but the writing was on the wall when she didn't pay the monthly installments. If she couldn't afford to pay one month, how would she afford the two months worth of payments the next month?

I wouldn't be offering to pay more than your share. Don't give her any more chances; just send her a message (so it's in writing), saying you've cancelled, as you couldn't afford the full cost alone. (I'm not normally a fan of lying about these things, but I would worry that if she knew you were still going, she may just turn up at the holiday accomodation and insist on staying.)

Since you can't change or cancel the accomodation, I would consider if there is another friend you and your child get on well enough with to holiday with. If not, enjoy the larger accommodation all to yourself!

I can’t afford to go on holiday this year so guess what - I am not going.
She has let you pay that money every month and knew she was never going to pay you back.
She is not your friend. She knows you have a kind nature and is using you.
You have your own family to think of and she is stealing your resources. That’s absolutely terrible.