To say 'make your own breakfast' to Husband

Ok. Jumped the shark now. A joke. Really not funny given how so many women have to endure husband like this. Stop pretending your 16 year old doesn’t know how to press go on a washing machine.

"Can I get..." would have me raging if I was already annoyed.
" I'm sure you can. If you just get off your arse, and get yourself into the kitchen, then you just have to get a pan out of the cupboard and cook some eggs, and so forth. I'm sure you get what I'm saying" * *

She asked him if he wanted any before starting. He said no. When she finished cooking, he asked her to make him some.

This is quite a drip feed. If you'd put it in your first post, you wouldn't have got so many "it would only have taken two minutes" responses.

You asked him, he said no. He waited until you had finished doing yours, THEN said yes. He's just trying to make more work for you.

DH is the one sending the strong message that we should be cooking for DC and not asking them to do it themselves

And yet DH isn't the one doing the cooking. I would go on strike, if I were you. Let them sort themselves out.

Yep, this pretty much sums it up. DS15 since he started secondary school (aged 11 years) does his own washing, room, gets own breakfast, and does his own lunch at weekends/during school holidays. Usually sandwiches, toasties, pasta dishes but also does proper food like rice, chicken etc. I make hot chocolate for him, because he likes the way I make it, but he'll make me a cup of tea at least twice a day.

Omfg. Is this a real question? I’m sorry that I’ve done the cardinal sin of not reading thread first, but up to here and oh my fucking god. Of course teenagers make their own food!!

You tell him to get a grip and act his age.

My DDs are 12 and 13. They make their own breakfast if they're having it and during the week help me make their lunches. On the weekends they often cook at least one meal for the family (be that lunch or dinner). They also walk to and from school, walk the dogs, have a chore rota.

I'm pretty shocked any teenager isn't capable of making their own lunch, or walking to school - let alone a car pool. Honestly, you're doing him no favours.

Why wouldn’t you make his if you were making your own?

My 12 and 9 year old make their own lunch for school. Its generally a wrap or sandwich and they get the other bits fruit etc and put it their lunchboxes.

Yes I agree.
It's all very well saying it was sllly to snap. But it sounds like you were stretched and maybe it was good to get it out in the open and for him to see it. Its not like you always react like that. Sad that his reaction is to sullk. Isn't that silly too?

Sounds a bit like even though you are both working and wfh at that - that its still your job to think about everything else and organise it, whereas he is allowed to swan about.

You're worried about the forthcoming exams to and its only natural to give DC a bit of extra TLC and support to keep their nose to the grindstone. It's not forever, either.

I'd be having chat when he's finished sulking.

Also. the food thing would annoy me too... just go ahead and order what's needed for the next shop online. Since you're being left in charge of organising and thinking ahead - you don't need to ask, do you?

You are mollycoddling your son and bringing him up to not be able to survive on his own in the world. I really feel sorry for his future partner.

If my partner said "can I get eggs and toast?". I would have said " go ahead". The act of getting is just that, get it yourself.

Just stop doing it for everyone but yourself and let them fend for themselves. You sound like a slave!!

Things have to change.

Being a bit of a soft touch (but also pragmatic I think), given he's done nothing his whole life, I don't think the next 2 months are the time for him to suddenly get to grips with difficult things like buttering bread 🙄.

I'd give them a heads up that as soon as his exams are done, things are changing. You each (Inc husband) make your own breakfasts, and own lunches unless you happen to be doing the same thing. OP and husband each cook 3 dinners a week, and the teenager 1 either just got himself or for everyone.

Both your DH and DC need to adult more. Your DC is a few short years away from adulthood. You're not doing him any favours by infantilising him. If he wants a curry, he can learn to make a curry.

Mine could do this, largely because they could see on the dial "40°c regular wash" or whatever.
It's as if the OP thinks it's too onerous!

I think in this case, it's a fair point!

I appreciate this is a bit “back in my day all this were fields” (and times have changed) but I was working full time at 16. Time to teach him some life skills OP

Also, why do you need to set the washing machine after DS has loaded it?
My DC were perfectly capable of sorting and putting a load on by the time they started secondary school - if not before!

I am Polish and we also eat dinner type food for lunch (although about 1-2 pm.), but we batch cook and freeze so we only need to re-heat them and cook rice or pasta. However I would expect a 16 year old to be able to make stir fry or some pasta dishes.

Of course, I'll get him to write it down later when he gets in.

You tell him you’re not his maid or a cafe service. The ikkle love will just have to live with his disappointment.

My head is literally bashed by this thread, and your posts OP 🤯😵‍💫
Have I read this right in that you are a family of DW, DH and a 16 year old? And you are struggling to make food and drinks for you all? 3 people?? 🤦‍♀️

If it were my teen I’d say “you’re welcome to make your own curry”

Look there’s nothing wrong with having a hot cooked lunch every day, it’s probably healthier. But it’s not compatible with having two parents working full time. I like cooking and I could make 3 cooked meals a day if I didn’t also have a full time job!

You’re also doing your teens no favours at all by not teaching them how to do this stuff. You’re going to send them out into the world as helpless adults

Perhaps my memory has got fuzzy with age, but, as I recall, my youngest son was putting his clothes into the washing machine and switching it on by the age of 7. It seems strange now, but I believe he also did his own ironing! (Can that be true?). I'm sure I supervised closely.. He was the youngest child . I went on strike with his older brothers, and he followed suite. I do remember other people being flabbergasted at the time. I also more or less gave up on cooking as there was a lack of appreciation and from their teens my sons just made their own pasta etcetera. I expect the youngest was also a prodigy in that respect.
The memory may be blurry round the edges, but it's overall accurate.

OP, I'm reading educational ambition into this post re 16 year old son. He must be helped in every way to academic success and this is understandable.

Also, I'm sure the cultural values are huge. I can only think that women are valued and appreciated for the level of home comforts they provide and it becomes part of one's identity.