To pause location tracking when he is with me?

It’s very normal to have tracking on in case a phone gets lost or stolen.

Why should DS have to leave his actual phone at home when he goes to his dad's? No, this is just going to negatively impact the child for the sake of being petty. Make an abusive man buy a separate phone for the child during his time and you'll end up with the phone being blocked to mum or something unnecessarily controlling and petty. It would be starting up trouble for everyone.

He can pay for a phone for DS when he is with his dad then, if he's with his dad then why does he need to be tracking him?

It's when he's with his mum that he's tracking DS, ergo tracking mum, who has been a victim of DA and should not have her whereabouts known by an abusive ex.

Note - I'm not a fan of tracking but understand why - they are still kids at 11 really so get why parents might want to make sure they're coming straight home from school etc. Might be a good time for a lesson on trust and responsibility maybe?

Honestly if I were king of the world I'd this location tracking bullshit immediately.

You're absolutely not unreasonable to switch it off. Your son is with you, in your care, and your ex has no business monitoring him or you in any way.

Install a GPS spoofing app and let him think you've gone to Australia for the weekend!

I track my kids and won't stop. No they aren't animals - but they are my absolute world and god forbid they went out and I didn't know where they were!

It's just peace of mind in todays world we live in! My kids also have absolutely no problem with me doing this and often check where I am if I'm not home!

Turn it off permanently. Your ex is not tracking your son he is tracking YOU.

What's the issue with leaving the phone at home?
Also, agree with others that nobody needs to be tracked at all but whatever...

It's the child's phone. It's fair for the dad to want tracking on when the child is in his care. He doesn't need it when he's not, and OP should also turn it off as you say but it's not unreasonable per se.

How the fuck has your ex got tracking on a phone you pay for?

Absolutely turn it off! And do him the same courtesy by turning it off when D's is with his dad.

Not the easiest thing with an unreasonable Ex, but i think you need some sort if agreement that Tracking is turned on in certain scenarios (like out with friends) instead of being a Default option.

We have tracking set up but it’s only there in case dd loses her phone, which she has been known to do. That’s the only time we use it.

You are right. I have never tracked mine and no one has tracked me. people on here even track their kids at uni in their 20s now even when they have moved out it's ridiculous.

YANBU but you need to find a way to make it so you cannot track him when he is at his dad’s too.

Everyone should switch off all tracking on phones. There is no need for it.

YANBU not to want to share locations with your controlling ex.

To address one point though, the location tracking in Family Link absolutely can be turned off. There's a toggle switch for "See your child's location" in the parent's app under Controls > Location settings.

I suppose the difference is that it can (I think) only be turned off from a device signed into a parent account, and not from your son's phone. Your ex could be added as a parent and then he'd

Is your ex already set up as a parent on Family Link? I assume he must be as otherwise wouldn't your approval have been needed to install Life 360? If so, he'll also be able to turn this setting off, but also turn it on again when your son is with you, so this may not solve the problem.

It's all a bit tricky really.

You should turn it off when he's with you. And when he's with your ex, you shouldn't track your DS.

Totally agree. In fact I don’t get the need for all this tracking nonsense at all.

If your son was older I could see this being difficult but the simplest solution for an 11 year old is to leave it at home when he’s out with you. He can take it when he goes out with friends if you like him to have it for calling for a lift etc but when you there is zero need for him to carry it.

for the anti-trackers - it’s a personal choice we have it as a family with our teens but it works both ways, they can see where we are too. Been useful to many times. Especially to check when someone’s driving, how far they are from arriving, without messaging them - that’s my main use. And we use find-my phone which any of us could disable if we needed privacy for something.

you def can’t have it both ways. If you are tracking him at Dads then fair he does at yours. Or neither.

Turn it off when he is with you - if he doesn't track him/you he won't even notice. If he does track you point out calmly it is gross invasion of your privacy to track him/you when ds is in your care and that you dont even look at tracking when ds is in his care as its not your concern (even if you do tbh - its hardly relevant seeing as you have not actively caused harm to your ex in the past)

Her abusive ex is using the tracking app as a way to monitor her. He isn’t tracking his son because he’s concerned about him, it’s another level of control over OP.

The OP has a permanent tracking app that she doesn’t use when her son is with his dad, because she isn’t abusive and controlling. If the ex is so concerned about the “fairness” of it, he can simply turn off his son’s location sharing through the phones settings when he is in his care so that the OP’s tracking doesn’t work either.

No one should be tracking children they are not animals

I agree with this, OP. you’re going to get inaccurate answers. You left out a key piece of information in your OP.

I'm unaware of any tracking that cannot be turned off. Worst case simply turn the phones location services off then even DS's own phone won't share it even with family. (you may need to change the parental controls to allow this to be changed)

Don’t you think he gave up the right for things to be ‘fair’ with his controlling behaviour during the marriage? If he wasn’t controlling, the OP likely wouldn’t mind that he could track their son while he was with her. Behaviour has consequences.