Inheritance to grandchildren bypassing children

Why can't they do both my GP gave us GC a small amount and left bull to three adults

I do think it’s wiser to talk to your DC before doing it. There will be things you don’t know. They may well be saving you from their worries about mortgages and pensions. Or their desperate wish to leave a well paid but miserable job.

In principle skipping a generation is great, the money arrives when the costs are at their highest and lets them get a foot on the ladder. That does assume their parents aren’t in need, though.

If they have ‘some money but not loads’ I don’t understand what the issue is. It’s sounding like they’re going to be inheriting millions the way you’re taking about them not wanting to work etc.

Perhaps they think it would be better spent on GC due to life stage at the time they'll inherit.
Perhaps they love GC equally and want each of the 5 to have equal shares rather than your kids getting smaller amounts.
Perhaps they don't care much for their DiLs and don't want to benefit them or have them take half in the event of a divorce.
Perhaps they think their sons are not very deserving.
Perhaps they dislike the idea that the world and its dog thinks itself entitled to say what's 'fair' when free money is handed out and are just doing what they want.

Personally , I would always give inheritance to my children equally. I would want to make sure they are taken care of and slso would trust them to help their children with the money at appropriate times. I also hate the idea of younger adults, ie 18-24, inherting and not ending up following their true path as easy money means they don't bother. Saying that, it's their money. I would ask them to at least put some clause in that grand children don't receive money till 25. Also, that they don't know in advance about the will.

I don't agree that you're getting a bigger pot cause you have 3 children and he has 2 children. The grandchildren are individuals.

I've inherited from my grandmothers.

As the only (surviving) child of an only child, one grandmother split her money equally between Mum and myself. It gave us a house deposit.

On the other side, Nan gave each grandchild (there are loads of us) £1000, and split the balance between her children.

I think, given the life expectancy these days, where there is some money, dropping it down a generation is sensible. Getting a lump of cash at 30 or 40 is much more useful than 60/70.

I agree with every point you have made OP.

Give it to your DC now? If you don’t need it. Why wait to pass it on to their children if you didn’t need that inheritance??

the ILs are still alive
it is poor to squabble now
my dm told me her plans, which is an equal share between me and ds and our dc,
so that is totally fair
but uncomfortable to announce while she is still alive and kicking

But it's not really weird, as inheritance can be life -changing. Even if you're the least grabby person in the world, it's quite hard not to have any thoughts at all on something that could change the course of your life or the nature of your retirement, even if you never air those thoughts.

My grandparents left their estate to their grandchildren. The reasoning being their children were already set up in life, and didn’t have the same need.

I was the eldest, at 20. My DB the youngest at 14. All 6 of us used the money for house deposits. Something our parents said they would never had been able to help with otherwise.

My mother was initially upset over it, but now understands. So much so, that my parent’s estate goes to their grandchildren.

as long as it’s not a shock when the will comes out, it’s their money to do what they will with it. My Grandad was always very open about it, so it was never a shock.

People are so weird about inheritance. Nobody has a right to it. Nobody should expect it. If someone of sound mind makes a will and leaves all their money to one person and not another, that’s up to them. I hope my mother continues to spend all her money on holidays to avoid any squabbles with family.

My MiL left everything split equally between her 5 GC, (3 families) 1 SiL thought it was unfair as other SiL has 1 child, until I pointed out the inheritance isn't for the parents, and it would be unfair for 1 GC to receive more than their cousins.

Sometimes when people are high earners
It may avoid taxes to do it this way.
I've known this happen a few times.

If it's not about that, though, it is f-ing annoying.
I don't know why, it just is.
Maybe because it has overtones of look at how special I am. Yes, that's what it is.
Most people are not high earners, most people get on OK with their families, just do the normal thing ffs.
It's a bit like funerals being highly personalised.
It's just annoying somehow. Look at how special I am. I'm not going to do the normal thing.

It's also got overtones of narcissistic control. I can control my children because I know they'll want the best for their children even though I don't for mine.

Another exception would be if a parent dies and the grandparent then rearranges things to be left to the grandchild.

Yeah yeah people can do what they like with their money (why do people even say this on these sort of threads? Nobody's going to flipping deny that!) and I can in turn have an opinion on it since you're explicitly asking.

This way of splitting an estate really doesn't make a great deal of sense. Why not leave a percentage to GC then the balance divided equally between AC? The OP raises valid points about concerns regarding the GC inheriting too early.

I have the option of passing my late fathers inheritance down to my DC, which I fully intend to do, step mother was a bit younger than DF and inheritance doesn’t come my way until she passes, but this is my portion split 2 ways. I’m pleased to be able to do this and hope to be around to see my DC benefit, they should be of an age where they will be sensible with it. Not sure if this is available but could you suggest that it’s held in trust until the DC of the family are of a certain age before they receive it, 25 or 30?

Just a small question, where you say "a crappy trust route", is this because they own the property as tenants in common and there will be an immediate post-death interest trust?

If that is the case, then the reason for there being a trust is to stop the surviving spouse from being kicked out of the home by the children (or whoever the beneficiaries are) after the first spouse passes away.

The trust ensures that the surviving spouse can stay living in the family home for the rest of their life (unless the will states otherwise).

This is a very normal thing to do where a couple own a property like this.

It's their money so up to them.

Just one thing - are you sure your family will get 3/5 of the estate and their family will get 2/5 because they have 2 children and you have 3?

My Dad gave both families children an inheritance but he split the money 50/50 between the 2 families despite the fact my sister has 3 children and I have 2.

Her family effectively got less money per child and it caused a bit of upset at the time. The way he explained it (that he was giving both daughters the same amount but via their children) I could see the logic but my sister couldn't.

My elderly grandad is about to get an inheritance from his sister. He's going to have to spend a lot of money on a deed of variation (?) to give that directly to me and my child as GC and GGC. He's trying to avoid the money being hit by inheritance tax twice over. It was the same when my nan died, her savings came directly to me rather than my parents - and it made it possible to buy a house. I'm grateful to my grandparents for making these choices.

So I was left money by my grandparents- my parents and siblings didn't get any
Mainly it was because their daughter was always asking for money and they didn't want her to drink it....
However it bought me my first car and I felt really lucky ...
I will also probably leave to grandchildren not children to ensure that they have a house deposit/house to live in rather than my child who has one already!!

Of course it's up to them, and you're lucky to get anything etc, but I do understand your feelings a bit, and your sense of discomfort about the disparity between the two sides of the family (even though it's fair in terms if the individual GC). My PIl have an arrangement where most has gone/will go to us, but they have also made direct investments for the GC to help with house deposits. The pre-death gifts to us have effectively enabled us to provide a better life for the kids while they're at home and ensure they won't have any uni debt. It's incredibly thoughtful and generous, and we're very lucky. Perhaps yours feel that because these are 'on death' gifts, they're less likely to be useful to you (assuming they don't die young), and prefer the absolute guarantee that the money will be used for the benefit of the GC. I do understand you feeling slightly hurt that they don't trust you to make that decision yourself, though. It may be precisely because of the unbalanced number of kids? Ie they want each GC to get the same, but would feel uncomfortable leaving more to your husband then your BIL, if leaving direct to the kids?

When my mum died she gave 25% each to me and my sister and split 50% amongst the grandkids (3) this seemed fair as it gave kids money for a car/ travel. (Early twenties) But also gave Dsis and I some money for retirement (we are in our 50’s) My sister was unhappy though as she doesn’t have kids so she saw it as my family got 75% and she got 25%.

That would be fine. Any other way and I'll have to start the work all over again when the money runs out. It's actually really hard and stressful on top of all the caring jobs I already have to do. I can do without a repeat.

Obviously people can leave money to whoever they want, however the inequity in this would really bother me - the fact that you’re better off and larger side of the family ends up getting more of the pot say to speak then the side that is struggling a bit more.

In my personal circumstance, my father has sometimes expressed a desire to do funny things with his money based on the fact that he doesn’t trust my brother so much. I have very strongly asked him not to do anything strange in his will that will create division between us when he is gone.