Racism from a customer at work, am I over reacting? (TW - Racist language)

You're not overreacting OP, it's vile, and totally wrong of him to assume you agree because of your skin colour.

Of course if you know someone has dementia you might treat off colour comments differently, but it doesn't really sound like that applies here (healthcare background). If it really was someone being unable to control what they say, unlikely he's have lowered his voice and made a show of trying to say it on the sly. Not impossible of course, but unlikely for someone whose comments come from uncontrolled disinhibition.

My DGM is in her mid 90s and has got more openly racist as she has got older, which given she's an immigrant herself is a bit stupid really, but there we are. She once made an offensive comment to me about a Nigerian nurse when she was in hospital and I told her never to say anything like that in my hearing again. She probably wouldn't understand the concept of something like a microaggression, but she damn well knows where the line is when it comes to what is unacceptable and offensive racist language. She relies on her age allowing her to get away with it unchallenged, and I suspect many others who think and speak this way also do. Assuming dementia is ruled out, age is no excuse for being a racist shithead, and you'd be well within your rights as a business to give him some friendly advice about not using racist language if he wishes to continue being a customer.

With a mixed-race daughter, how could you have reacted any other way?

Serve him again
Best come back for mental people is to smile and ignore the bait.
Or say if you must racism is not acceoted here.
Bet he is a cranky old sad barstard...or say that.
Hospo work you will strike all sorts of creeps weirdos.
Ignoring takes time but oit the poor barstard.

Why have you decided this man has Tourettes?

I'da told him actually i have a mixed race daughter you racist wanker, then barred him

My parents are 79. They would consider such language to be offensive and would never use it. They actually mentioned recently how much more ethnically and racially diverse their local church had become, and what a positive it is. Being 80 doesn't explain or excuse being racist.

Well done for saying something back to him.

The cunts are emboldened at the moment.

It needs calling out. Every single time.

They didn't go straight from 1970 to 2026, they have lived in society during the decades in between. It is no excuse. I am 70+ myself and was not brought up thinking racist language was acceptable.

Ah I see x

By not accepting it imo.

Remember, you have a genuine reason for feeling bad about the elderly man's prejudiced attitude. I 100% agree with you here.

His bad attitude is due to ignorance and if he was born in the early to mid 1940s, society, in those days was not how it is today. Racism was like a disease of the mind so his own upbringing could ( I have to remain vague) have had an impact and he turned towards prejudice, instead of against it.

All blood is red, all life is precious.

Why the need to mention she was a Scot?

OP, did this actually happen? I ask not because I doubt racists exist but because I recognise your name from starting multiple 'AIBU to think this racist thing is racist?' threads over the years where you've found yourself in so many situations like this.

But your Mum would have been 50 40 years ago. So far too old at that age to be influenced. People born in the 1930s and 40s would possibly have grown up and around the signs in the 1950s that said eg No Blacks, No Irish. That culture on young people must go deep. Of course OP shouldn't be forced to agree with the man's views, but I would ask them gently to be aware of what happens as people age. I dont just mean dementia. They start to struggle with change and regress back in time. I've once had to be very firm with my dad, who did have dementia, about offensive language. Never heard it before and he was 88 when he died. And then again once with my mum, who does not have dementia and her comment was unacceptable. She was scared and I knew that was the driver.

i agree with what your saying but its how to change the mindset of others, thats the pickle of it

And yet it is not acceptable. Words that were ‘acceptable’ when I was growing up are no longer considered acceptable and are slurs. I will not give examples because I am not ok with using those words. Age and times changing isn’t an excuse.

Yet I love and use the word cunt quite freely.

I work in a sector where I have to deal with some very frustrated and vulnerable, also often angry people. The amount of times I've had to deal with comments about 'them' coming over and getting houses, or 'them' in doctors or hospitals before 'us' is very wearing.

I just respond by telling them we are talking about their situation no-one else's amd can we refocus please.
Then I scream when they're gone!

‘We do not tolerate racism’ over and over and over.

that i agree with, in my haphzard way i was trying to explain it was not that long ago we had shows like love thy neighbour influcing peoples language

Oh come on, they should absolutely know by now that they are unacceptable!

look at the words used in the sitcom love thy neighbour, yes times have moved on but many people are encoded with the words and language from older times

Grim isn’t it, as are they!

Oh ffffffffffffffffs!!