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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel the sleepover?

62 replies

MyWildOliveGoose · 23/04/2026 08:11

To start, my DD15 attendance at school is extremely low, and they’re on my back about it. This week she’d asked for a friend to stay over on Friday night, and I clearly said “if you go to school every day this week, yes.. but if you have any days where you refuse to go in for any reason, no.”

Today she’s come on her period, if this had happened tomorrow she would have popped some paracetamol and got on with it, but instead she’s point blank refusing to go in and said that if I cancel the sleepover because of her period, I’m a bitch.

I am more swayed to cancel, because of the agreement and because of her attitude, but I do understand her periods are heavy and painful. AIBU?

OP posts:
DramaFrontRowSeatWPopcorn · 23/04/2026 08:27

MyWildOliveGoose · 23/04/2026 08:11

To start, my DD15 attendance at school is extremely low, and they’re on my back about it. This week she’d asked for a friend to stay over on Friday night, and I clearly said “if you go to school every day this week, yes.. but if you have any days where you refuse to go in for any reason, no.”

Today she’s come on her period, if this had happened tomorrow she would have popped some paracetamol and got on with it, but instead she’s point blank refusing to go in and said that if I cancel the sleepover because of her period, I’m a bitch.

I am more swayed to cancel, because of the agreement and because of her attitude, but I do understand her periods are heavy and painful. AIBU?

Ofcourse she would have as it’s Saturday and her weekend! She can still pop some paracetamol today and get on with it!

Definitely cancel the sleepover, the deal hasn’t been kept to on her part. She has to understand you mean what you say.

CurlewKate · 23/04/2026 08:26

She called you a bitch. Cancel.

Savvysix1984 · 23/04/2026 08:25

I think you need to stick to your guns as you need to keep to your word, however sometimes a child will be genuinely ill so making the sleepover a condition that she won’t be unwell (and can’t attend school) is dodgy. Like others she wouldn’t have one for what she called you.

Heyheyitsanotherday · 23/04/2026 08:23

Absolutely cancel. For the bitch comment. And if she’s not well enough for school she’s not well enough for a sleepover. Periods are horrid but not a reason to miss school. And if they are she needs to see a gp

Pineneedlesincarpet · 23/04/2026 08:23

I don't remember a heavy period being an excuse to miss a day of school when I was that age. And she's presumably got GCSEs coming up either now or next year?

I also think you can tell her that if shes not well enough to go to school today, shes not well enough to have a sleep over tomorrow.

And I punish her for the bitch comment as thats disrespectful and spoilt behaviour. Actions need consequences. And you'll be doing all this for her own good as a good parent despite how annoyed you will make her! You shouldn't have to bargain like this.

LovelyBitOfSquirrrel · 23/04/2026 08:22

Why do you let her decide when she goes to school? Why don't you seem to think being called a bitch by your child warrants a punishment?

HappyToSmile · 23/04/2026 08:22

Also in the camp of cancelling for calling you a bitch

DeathMetalMum · 23/04/2026 08:20

Cancel.

DD has heavy painful periods and while I am sympathetic as I also had heavy periods, I try to encourage her to not let it stop her from doing things. I ensure she has painkillers, heat pads anything else than can help but she's still goes to school.

TeenToTwenties · 23/04/2026 08:19

Lots of things going on.

First periods heavy and painful. Has she seen GP about this? Go on the pill?

What does she do if she doesn't go in? Would she do some work or be online? Why does she not go in?

ForensicFlossy · 23/04/2026 08:16

100% cancel, you set the boundaries and she has to deal with the consequences

BudgetBuster · 23/04/2026 08:14

If my child called me a bitch... she'd never have a sleepover again.

Why is she not going to school regularly and then being rewarded if she manages one whole week?

sunnydisaster · 23/04/2026 08:13

I’d cancel because she called you a bitch.