To cancel the sleepover?

I would have her take an anti inflammatory like ibuprofen instead of paracetomol, the GP could prescribe her something stronger for the heavy periods.
The outburst of swearing could be PMT - I feel really depressed and rubbish two days before my period starts, but she needs to learn how to manage it.

Jesus, no kid would call me like that in my house.
I'd not only cancel the sleepover. I would at least take away her phone too until she learns to behave.
It's hair-raising how we allow our kids to treat us these days.

Oh yeah. Long week!

But yes, rest still stands. It’s your DD deciding not to have the sleepover if she chooses not to attend school, not you. Make sure she knows this. She’s being a bitch to herself!

Since missing school is due to illness not anything else, I'd be inclined to go ahead with the sleepover if you can agree another goal instead - she goes in every day next week or something else.
Of course, she could have sleepover and then not go in next week but if she did that, she would have lost your trust. You could explain that as well.

However, if you want to cancel the sleepover then just do it, pretty much the whole thread agrees with that.

She called you a what now? It is telling that her calling you a bitch was not the reason that made you rethink. You need to look at how you have got to a place in which it is acceptable to be called this by you child and do something to change it. My DC are 21 and 22 and have never ever spoken to me like that, period or no period.

Cancel the sleepover without a second thought.

Read the room people 🙄. The dd said that the op would be a bitch if she cancels the sleepover. Heavy periods are absolutely hell. And if she was at a school like mine was you would nearly bleed through because they wouldn’t let you go toilet. give her the sleepover

You didn’t mention any of that in your OP.
Tell your family to mind their own business. You have a child that calls you a bitch - your parenting needs to be strict!

Tell her you’ve cancelled her sleepover because she called you a bitch, it’s totally out of order. If she hadn’t have done that I’d have said let her have the sleepover as it’s clear she’s not skipping school just to get drunk in a park or something, shes clearly struggling with her health and presumably health anxiety. But that doesn’t excuse calling you a bitch so no sleepover.

Tomorrow is Friday

If she's not feeling unwell enough to go to school then she won't be able to enjoy the sleepover tomorrow night either. So I would pose cancelling it as concern for her welfare and wellbeing rather than punishment as such. But she learns that her actions have consequences.

Of course you need to cancel. If she had good attendance and was struggling with her period as a one off that's different - but she doesn't want to go to school anyway so this seems like an excuse.

Edited to say I hadn't read your update to maybe this is a bit harsh, on reflection!

I would like to say that totally separate from the sleepover please do get her looked at for the painful periods.

i had extremely painful periods and they got worse and it turned out to be endo and I had massive difficulty conceiving due to it not being treated through all my teenage years.

is she being prescribed any meds?

Yep, I’d cancel. She hasn’t kept to her side of the agreement.
If she’s feeling too rough to go into school then she won’t be well enough for a sleepover anyway. She can’t have it both ways.

I think that the fact she is missing school due to health issues has altered my opinion. She still needs to be dealt with for calling you a bitch though. It’s such a shame for a child of this age to be dealing with health issues so I am more in the side of leniency

It would be cancelled if it was me and there’s no way I’d tolerate being called a bitch either. She’d be horsed out the door to school with two paracetamol in her hand.

Your latest post changes things somewhat as it seems her absences are due to genuine health problems. On that basis it changes tings somewhat as regards the sleepover. But her calling you a bitch is totally out of order and she needs to know this.

Why is her attendance generally low, OP? Does she just refuse to go in?

I'm another voter for 'you cancel simply because she called you a bitch'.

There is something really amiss if your DD is calling you a bitch. That would not be allowed in this house. The sleepover would be cancelled on that basis alone.

Her attitude. Calling you a bitch?!
When did you stop parenting to the extent that her suggesting you are a bitch has only made you re-think your decision to cancel rather than re-enforcing that decision and grounding her as well?!

You have to follow through. Her attitude alone is appalling.

Why on earth is your daughter not attending school? My periods were excruciating but I still went to school and, after that, out to work. I would withdraw all pocket money, phone and treats for a month just for the bitch comment. Totally unacceptable language and behaviour. If she was an adult and said that at work to a manager it would get her sacked.

You set your expectations and she didn't comply. She was also extremely cheeky. Show her you mean business and follow through or she'll walk all over you.

She needs to learn to live with her periods, just like every other female.

What are her reasons for not going into school? Is she open with you about it? I ask as it’s very often not a case of belligerence or laziness - possibly something deeper going on. I have lots of experience of this!