AIBU to say no to my son and partner moving in?

Hi OP. This sounds like a nightmare! Can you store some of the stuff for them in the garage and they can rent somewhere small, rather than their proposal?

This is unbelievable.
Use the well advised MN expression "No, that doesn't work for us".
They'll have to come up with another bright idea.

Fast forward 10 years and you telling them you want to disrupt their lives by moving in. I don’t think your DS and his GF would go for that.

Got to be cruel to be kind!

I hope they haven’t already left their jobs with the state of the job market at current…

It would be a no from me too. Is your garage even habitable?!

OP do you think that nicely he might be trying to reverse psychology you in to suggesting to lend them money for a deposit?

So make the alternative (moving in) sound so horrific that you offer different help? The plan itself sounds so crazy and they are just ‘thinking about it’ that I wonder if they are playing a hand here.

If they have no income for say four months whilst they job hunt - will they realistically stay in the unconverted garage all day? No. They’ll either be in your house or they’ll be out spending money. They would have no income during that period but paying you, storage, pet food and insurance etc, for car or other transport? At an absolute minimum. So they’ll already be losing money for a period rather than gaining.

I think they may be spinning you a line here to gauge reaction in the hope of some financial support towards a deposit.

I’d say “no” and ask them what they plan to do instead.

Have you got funds to help them with a house deposit?
If not, living at home on low/no rent is often the best way to help children onto the housing ladder.
I wouldn't rule it out but I would set some very robust rules

Your son is doing a lot of TELLING. Is the house his?
If I wanted to move back into my parents' home, I'd be expected to ask amd agree. They'd not have me dictating any terms to them.

What a cheek to tell someone you move in.
I personally would have a problem of telling them no and that I am not impressed and angry without worrying about making them too angry to stay in touch in the future.

To save money they still need to earn it. Whta planet are they on? If they give up their jobs what income will they have? You will end up paying for everything and where will they even get £50 per week from? How will they eat and do all the other things that are part of living daily?
Sounds they want to opt out of life and leech off everyone around them.

You are not unreasonable at all. They've approached this horribly. I think the online narrative makes it seem as if this is a completely normal thing to do: to build a life and then transplant that life (with pets and possessions) into their parents home, contributing next to nothing, and staying for as long as they need/want to. In reality that doesn't work for a lot of families. Space issues are a big thing, and a lot of people don't want the imposition. If they were desperate, of course you wouldn't see them on the street, but they don't need to do this, they just want to.
I'd be asking what they have saved already (because if they have, say, £20k, and their plan is to be with you for 6 months to save up another £10k, then maybe.) But if they're starting from zero with no time frame, then this isn't a practical plan at all.

I would reply immediately that this isn’t a viable solution and they cannot move in to the house or garage.

If you don’t act quickly then they will guilt you further by saying they have already resigned and told their landlord they are moving out and now they have no choice but to move in or be homeless

No. Its the only answer here. You are going to be massively out of pocket and your life will be miserable. Let them move into gf's house and cause even more trouble in their hugely troublesome family.

Do they have new jobs lined up?
Is the garage an actual room or like a mattress next to the paintbuckets and bicycles?

That being said, you do not have to agree to this. And he can't dictate the terms or the compensation? And having your son come live with you is one thing but bringing a partner as well would be a no from me.

Why on earth does your son think he can move in with you without asking? Why didn't you immediately say no or at least ask him to do nothing until you and DH had discussed it? Something has gone awry with your communication.

"tell" them right back that you can't accommodate them and that they should keep their jobs. But also explain why.

They've been extremely arrogant in not discussing it with you and just assuming.

They are making a lot of assumptions here. .... that you will want them there, and their animals, that £50 will suffice.
They have been making plans without consulting you!
We all want to help.our families if they are in a jam, but this is not the situation here.
I know it will be hard to be telling him No and hope you can find a way of doing this without falling out.

Your son knows you don’t have a spare room, yet has decided without any discussion to move in to your garage and give you £50pw??
Im speechless, no ask, discussion, just TELLS you, they are a pair of cheeky cunts.
Phone him today and tell him
absolutely no.

“they are planning on ditching their current jobs and getting new ones and moving in with us to save money for a deposit”

So at present it’s just a plan - you need to stamp on this right now, before they assume (and they seem to be quite happy to make outrageous assumptions) that you will just roll over and go along with them. OP, quite apart from any other consideration, it is massively impractical. Your DC leave and become independent for good reason. So they think they’re going to live in the garage, do they, and pay a token amount towards living with you. Will they be doing their own cooking (and messing up your kitchen) or will they be expecting full hotel service? I assume the latter as they reckon they want “maximum opportunities to save” - clearly on your dollar. Who will be looking after their animals? Do you want the depredations to your garden that said animals will definitely entail? OP, it is an utterly stupid idea, and you need to nip this in the bud, even at the cost of a temporarily frosty relationship with your grabby son and his inconsiderate GF (to say nothing of her family, who seem to think it will be perfectly acceptable to descend en masse). Seriously, you need to put a stop to this, because if you fall out with them over refusing to let them move in, it will be as nothing to the fall-out that will ensue from throwing them out when you simply can’t stand it any longer.

The council will get alerted to anyone living in a garage as it would not comply to building regs/fire risk etc.

You need to give them the hard no today @OneFunnyPearlTurtle They are living in a fantasy land. If they feel this strongly they need to live in a van or something, not freeload off you. Disgusting behaviour.

This is crazy! They haven't asked you if this would be OK, they have just announced what they are doing. You need to tell them that it is not feasible. The fact that your son's girlfriend's notoriously awful family have said that they will be visiting all the time is another reason why this definitely won't work.

It's not just your house, it's your DH's too and he is saying no.

It's astonishing, isn't it? Imagine presenting it as a done deal!

What a pair of cheeky fuckers! How old are they?

Is your garage fit for human habitation?

They were very rude in how they approached you and a token £50 is ridiculous.
I would help my dc out, but we have the space. It doesn’t sound like your make up is feasible and I think they’re mad to give up their jobs in the current market. You need to tell them no asap before they make rash decisions.