AIBU to say no to my son and partner moving in?

This is one of the most insane examples of CFery I have seen. Your DH has taken the cowards way out and left you to deal with it. Well its his home too and you both need to present a united front on this.
Why give up steady jobs? The job market is unstable at the moment, a lot of firms closing down etc.
Stand firm and tell them its a firm NO.
How old are they BTW?

Good lord , without so much as a conversation? Absolutely no . What age are they ? I think you need to sit them down and tell them that it isn't a good idea and I hope they haven't left their jobs yet .

Honestly, I feel stressed out in your behalf reading this!

If they're so entitled as to decide they're going to move in without even asking you first (the cheek of it!!) the mind boggles about the levels of entitlement that would be on display nice grey are ensconced.

Whatever angst you have to go through in order to say absolutely no way, not happening and deal with their huffs it's absolutely nothing compared to what you'll have to go through to get them out.

They are an adult couples, getting on the housing ladder is very hard but that's something they need to work out together.

Say no and stick to it, for god's sake.

Hell no.

He's being rather entitled telling you what's going to happen in your own home. This is a terrible plan for you. Two people and pets and a load of crap moving in for 200 a month, is he living in Crazytown??

He thinks you're going to support both he and his gf. Jobs are tough to get right now. Housing is hard to find.

Tell him to slow his roll. They will not be moving in with you. Tell him to think of another plan. Plus, gf's family is never welcome at your home. They can sell their shit. They can get second jobs. But they are not moving in to suck you dry like a couple of parasites.

Your son has got a lot of nerve and comes off as a user thinking you'll house him and a gf and their pets and can't be bothered to ask permission. That right there would make me say no, along with the other stuff. He thinks you're a pushover.

Randomly I get a call from them saying they are planning on ditching their current jobs and getting new ones and moving in with us to save money for a deposit to be able to buy their own place.

they are ditching their jobs? To save money for a deposit? Seems like they’re doing things in the wrong order.

Start looking for new job. Find new job. Then ditch old job. Save money for a deposit.

It seems as if they want to live with OP so they can ditch their current jobs and are simply trying to justify this. But maybe I’m being too cynical.

Being an adult means behaving like one! It doesn't mean they make a decision to leave decent jobs to move in with you, without even discussing it!!!! That's not responsible and it definitely isn't considerate.

I'm assuming you have a 2 bedroomed property? So there isn't a spare bedroom for your son and his girlfriend anyway? The garage, I'm assuming that this hasn't been converted into living accommodation?! If not, then your son is being ridiculous for suggesting it, and is likely using it to make you feel guilty. That in itself, would make me cross, knowing that my own son was using emotional blackmail to get his own way!!

It would be a very firm No, in your shoes! 'Your plan doesn't work for me or DH, so the answer is No'. If you need to elaborate further say 'There is no spare room, DH and I have separate rooms due to medical conditions and you living in an unconverted garage is a ludicrous idea. I'm willing to help you find a solution but you aren't living here'.

They told you they are moving in and they told you it’s £50 a week rent they are paying?! No just no. This is not a great start and a taste of things to come lm sure. Are they always so rude and entitled. I would decline, don’t feel the pressure to explain or justify either

Whilst we are still in the family home the kids will always be welcome back plus partners maybe not so much barring an emergency.

Good lord! What a pair of CFs! I’m all for helping out your adult kids but there is a limit and the way they’ve just tried to railroad you into it without actually asking is terrible. Not to mention the paltry £50 a week.

DS has said they will live in the garage and have told us they will pay a token £50 a week in rent so that they can have maximum opportunities to save.

have only read OP. The answer to this is "nice try, DS. No. The answer is no full stop."

Just say no. I think it’s not even a discussion beyond “we cannot accommodate this. No. The answer is no.”

It’s clearly a crazy idea on all sorts of levels but you’ll have an argument if you get into a discussion about it.

Adults go to work and pay their own housing costs. There might be a few exceptions but you ask first and don’t assume. They need to stay in work, not be enabled to give up their jobs.

I wouldn't lend them a penny. Going by their behaviour in this matter, they sound entitled and self-absorbed, and I wouldn't trust them an inch to ever pay it back.

They're cheeky cunts. How dare they unilaterally announce that they're moving in, that they'll pay you 'token' rent , where they'll sleep etc?
Personally I'd just laugh in their faces: 'Good heavens, what an extraordinary thing to say! Of course we can't have you move in.'

This.
he doesn't get to dictate, or set the rent, or make such assumptions.
Hard no.
And when does £100 a month cover the cost of each adult living with you?!

FFS what part of 'it's illegal to live in an unadapted garage' do peeps not understand on here? 🙄
Even if it was legal OP should still say no for so many reasons.

How will they move into the garage?. Is the garage habitable?. Have they actually given up their jobs yet? . I doubt that?. If they have then they are extremely irresponsible. If the garage is habitable, can you agree for 6 months with lots of rules ie they can't bring their pets.

Moving in after uni isn’t the same situation as OP, at all. This adult couple already have jobs and a place to live - they want to chuck that all in and come back for a measly £50. And your DH was the one suggesting it - not a done deal issued by the son.

I think they have to realise they are an adult household now - a couple with pets and belongings - not a couple of teenagers boomeranging about.

I would just be kind but firm. Sorry DS. That doesn't work for us. Try GF's family. They sound happy about your relocation.

How old are they?

It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

You need to get them round and have a proper conversation about this. Your DH needs to be a part of it too, he's certainly not unreasonable to refuse to go along with this cheeky fuckery, but if he wants you to say 'no' he should be there to support and back you in doing so. You're supposed to be a partnership and this affects both of you.

I would just ring him up and say 'no' - why all the drama?

they are planning on ditching their current jobs and getting new ones

DS has said they will live in the garage

have told us they will pay a token £50 a week in rent

They've TOLD you? They are planning... DS has said... have told us...

Hang on? Why does he feel he can be in charge of your choice about your home? That isn't how life works.

Although the answer may still have been the same, IF he had approached this differently, you might have been more amenable.

Why does he feel HE is in charge of choices about your life and what you will give to him? Does he have a history of this? Did you bring him up to be this entitled.

Suggest they move in with his GF's family instead.

wow its incredible he feels he can present this to you as a done deal.

Don't make excuses etc - he'll argue back. Just say no that doesnt work for us.

Could offer them the garage as a storage facility? If that wouldn't inconveneince you too much, they could store their stuff there while renting cheaper smaller place to save. Its potentially a way of helping them out without changing your whole lives.

Exactly. This is such a batshit suggestion that the only appropriate reply is ‘Ha ha no son, that’s not going to happen, hope you haven’t given your notice yet.’

They be better off:
(a) decluttering; (b) storing what they decide to keep, in your garage (with your prior permission!) for a small storage fee; (c) keeping their jobs! (d) moving somewhere smaller, cheaper, and commutable to their workplaces, and saving money that way.