To think I’ll be stuck at 16 stone forever

I was going to say this. I have discovered that if I stay below 1,800 I lose weight and then it stalls. I go back up to 2,000 for a bit and I start losing again. As long as you keep the movement going, it will be fine.

Everyone’s metabolism is different.

You’ll get a lot of comments from people telling you you must be snacking, or miscounting, because their experience is calories in/calories out works. I used to believe this too until I had to start a medication that changed my metabolism. Never had problems with weight in my life, then suddenly I was gaining weight despite barely eating and really struggled to lose it. I’ve been eating at a deficit for 6 months now and it’s only just started to budge. I haven’t magically forgotten how to manage my weight or suddenly started sleep-eating cake: it’s a difference in metabolism. Would never have believed the impact it has until I experienced it myself, and my doctors tell me that some people’s bodies are naturally like this.

Even in a calorie deficit, your body still has to trigger the pathways to actually burn fat, and some people’s bodies don’t do this as easily as others.

The most useful true thing I can say is that I’m sorrry, it may just be a bit harder for you than for others, but if you keep at it you will see the scale start to shift.

If you don’t and it’s been a long time trying, or if you’re maintaining a genuine deficit but still gaining, see a doctor, show them a food and exercise diary and emphasise forcefully that you’re experiencing “unexplained weight gain” as this can be a sign of health issues.

I wouldn’t listen to half of the shit people spout on these threads OP. We’ve had ‘muscle weighs more than fat’ and ‘fat converts into muscle’ … all given as a fact and not a completely incorrect opinion

The "three meals" structure is a construct of society and technology.

We haven't physically evolved much since we were hunter gatherers - and there wasn't a whole lot of breakfast lying around the cave.

I don't eat until I move, however long that takes.

And it might be worth cutting back on the exercise briefly - try one weights and two cardio for a month. I had similar hiatus at 16st, and a month of 1800 and lower activity cracked it for me.

(I know there's a lot of querying about starvation mode, but there are few to no studies of how varying your exercise and diet affects weight loss. And for me, varying it helps. Sometimes that means less exercise and less calories, sometimes more calories less exercise, etc etc. The science isn't perfect yet, so the best thing to think is "how would a caveman eat and drink and exert himself" - because that's what our biology is geared towards.)

Haven't rtft, but 4L of water every day?! Is that necessary? Don't you feel bloated?

I've never had a problem losing weight while eating carbs. I love carbs. I have had some success getting over a plateau by having a "cheat day" (I hate that phrase) not sure if it's backed by science but I've done it a couple of times and it worked. It's also an excellent excuse for a slap up meal

It will pass eventually, you're doing all the right things op

exactly women’s health is so poorly treated and misunderstood. A woman I know lost 5kg due to fibroids being finally treated .

She was having severe pains for ages and doctors kept telling her to lose weight. Had they done a scan earlier and saw fibroids and removed them that would have been 5kg instantly lost.

I take scale readings of my weight and BMI with a pinch of salt. I take into account a wide range of metrics including waist measurement, how my clothes feel, body fat, and muscle density percentages.

I know home body analysis scales are not always super accurate but they can provide some kind of idea. I know people who have said dexa scans (which are very reliable) more or less backed up what their home scales have been telling them.

Stop weighing yourself and start measuring (e.g. waist measurement) instead? Seems like you are losing fat but the strength training etc may mean you are recompositioning rather than losing weight? And focus more on your health-based metrics like your weights and running stamina?

Don't be a slave to the scale, if that's not motivating you focus on other measures that do.

I would say that’s a good thing because it can take months to get on top of. When this has happened to me before I’ve found doing less at the gym and more steps has helped. I’ve got my steps up quite high and this has shifted things.

Are you counting the calories burned by exercise? I use My Fitness Pal and it wildly overestimates calories burned that way, so I basically ignore that and just track food intake.

As someone who was 16 stone and was convinced I'd be the size for my whole life, going up and down a few pounds for YEARS, I am now finally down 4 stone (it took 3 years!)and still losing. it was slow and I had plateaus constantly but it can be done. If your clothes are feeling looser that's a great start. I say this very kindly. I was absolutely convinced it wasn't what I was eating. It was. Your body cannot hold fat if it is burning it. An average body (smaller than mine and yours) burns 1200 calories just to be awake and pump blood around your body. At 1500 calories at your size you 100% would be losing. The only way you aren't losing is if you aren't eating 1500 calories. My MIL drives me to the fair, she says she barely eats anything at all and is a size 18. It's because what she eats is absolutely s*. It's cake and scones and sausage rolls. Small amounts of high calorie food adds up to a high calorie diet. Anyway I digress, you have said you aren't doing that but I encourage you to actually weigh things, to count the milk in your tea, the butter on your bread, the oil you use to book. Science doesn't lie. Calories in, calories out.

It was only when I stopped telling myself oh that extra bit doesn't count that the weight came off. Very slowly. Also inflammation and water weight are also a thing. If you have just started exercising, for body may well be reacting by becoming inflamed and holding more water, the scale then stays up. I have times of this and then will have a big drop of 1-2kg seemingly out of the blue. That may explain looser clothes but the scale remaining.

But generally it's calories in, calories out. The WLIs have done a fabulous job of exposing how everyone who just couldn't lose weight actually can when they stop eating so much, because that's what WLIs force you to do.

Again, I mean this all very kindly as a woman who has been obese my entire life until recently.

One last hack that may work. Eat more for a week. Eat your maintenance calories for a week, can help reset your metabolism. Then back down to 1500. Sometimes it can be the jump start you need.

Good luck!!

The difference in quality of life you will have when you get that weight off is incredible. I know it has massively changed my life.

??? You do realise she's not cooking for you, right?

Jeez some of these comments :(

Try to get some impact sessions in - ie Spinning / HIT workouts in which will improve cardio fitness levels

Weight is one indicator of BMI
Height / weight / activity is an indicator of what would be a calorie deficit
Take measurements and compare those week on week
If you can get scales that calculate fat / muscle ratio etc
Your PT should be able to set up a programme for you to track goals against.

Weigh your portions and check calorie count for everything you eat and drink (read the package labels or websites). I found this worked for me, you will be surprized where the high calories are.

You need to find/reduce your calories intake by 3500 calories a week (500 calories a day). 3500 calories is equivalent to 1 ib of body fat.

Burning more calories by exercise will help

I feel for you OP and have seen many a thread like this on Mumsnet. If you say that you are tracking all your calories then people should believe you.

On these threads some people come along to critique your diet, give random suggestions and pay insufficient attention to what you, the person concerned, are actually saying: ‘Unless you are only gnawing on a twig twice a day you must clearly be overeating and deserve to be a fatty. Oh and it must be an evergreen twig as deciduous twigs are too carb-heavy.’ 😂

I don’t know what to suggest but good luck @justmeandthedogs.

OP, your height makes quite a big difference to how much you can eat.

Upping your protein will help you feel fuller. Get out and run as soon as your shoes turn up. I'd also do the 10k steps (and possibly more) whether you're going to the gym or not.

Can your PT help you with nutrition?

I was 16 stones and am now 10.5, it can be done! Did it slowly over 2-3 years but its stayed off.

I think you have to experiment, to me you are eating too few calories
What Happens When You Eat Too Few Calories

Try inputting your metrics here
Calorie Calculator UK — Free NHS Aligned BMR & TDEE Tool 2026

It will tell you largely what you need to eat to lose weight. I lost 2 stone but found if I ate too little it wouldn't budge, so ended up on the suggested 1700 calories a day (which I monitored religiously!) and then it worked. Might take a bit of trial and error. I don't know your age or height but I took their defaults and for 16 stone you should be eating over 2000 cals a day

Also I am very active but totally disregard exercise ie don't add any cals on for it. I don't think exercise helps with weight loss particularly though clearly you need to do it for your health!

Do you have lipoedema? If you do, then the mutated fat cells are resistant to calorie deficit.

Not strictly true. I often eat 3000 cals and I have visible abs.

Is it your scales? I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t losing weight but my clothes were getting looser, until I was weighed at my surgery. My scales at home would show a heavier weight when I first got on, if I got off and got back on again they showed a lower weight which matched the weight from my surgery.

Hi, it sounds like you're doing great- you're feeling fitter, stronger and clothes are fitting better- so you're healthier and slimmer which is everything you're working for... Your body composition will be changing from fat to muscle- muscle weighs more than fat hence why clothes are fitting better whilst you're staying the same weight. You'll get there, so don't be disheartened, ignore the scales for a while and keep going! Maybe have an item of clothing as your guide rather than scales- if it's getting looser you're right on track... Good luck, ignore the deluge of unsupportive criticism

I could have written this OP and I was a similar weight. I found that my old ways of losing weight no longer worked once I was perimenopausal. I have had great success with intermittent fasting and would highly recommend it! If you’re interested I’d recommend reading Fast, Feast, Repeat by Gin Stephens and The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung. Honestly give it a go, you’ll never go back to calorie counting. Good luck!

OP - I am in a similar position to you. Gym, run, cycle, track food which shows I am in a definite deficit. Eat well with homemade meals, no fizzy drinks, no takeouts and glass of wine once in a blue moon etc. My PT is convinced it is because I am not eating enough & my metabolism has fallen off a cliff. Experimenting with eating a bit more now, which is actually quite hard but will see what happens.

If your clothes are fitting better then it sounds like you’re gaining muscle at the same time! Which is good news!

My suggestion was going to be to up your calories to maintenance for a week or two, if anything it gives you a break mentally for a bit, then go again.

I thought we’d left the demonisation of carbs in the 2010s but still it goes on apparently. Carbs give energy, if you’re exercising a lot, you need carbs.