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Original poster

Two colleagues are carrying on and affair and it's really unpleasant for everyone else in the department

118 replies

CurdinHenry · 22/04/2026 22:25

She is needy and irrationally jealous and he (also the head of department) is really making a lot of mad and bad decisions. It has made a nice place pretty unbearably toxic.

I don't care what people do in their private lives (although I'd strongly advise against this particular setup) but they're incapable of keeping it private. Stand up arguments in the office, the lot.

Thinking about raising a grievance against both of them because I miss looking forward to work and I know it's not just me.

Am I being a cow?

OP posts:
DidIJustHearWhatIThinkYouSaid · 23/04/2026 01:16

CurdinHenry · 23/04/2026 00:21

She is 100% going to murder his bunnies eventually but I can't wait it out if it's going to take years!

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I shouldn’t but 😆😆😆

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 23/04/2026 00:30

CurdinHenry · 23/04/2026 00:19

I actually was thinking today I bet she reads his emails! (They are highly confidential)

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thats understandable, then how about the classic espionage dead drop method with notes in a certain place etc

Original poster
CurdinHenry · 23/04/2026 00:21

ForPinkDuck · 23/04/2026 00:18

I was in this situation years ago. I used to leave the office when it kicked off as i couldnt do any work anyway. These situations tend to resolve themselves.

She is 100% going to murder his bunnies eventually but I can't wait it out if it's going to take years!

OP posts:
Original poster
CurdinHenry · 23/04/2026 00:19

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 23/04/2026 00:04

what about talking to him via email ?

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I actually was thinking today I bet she reads his emails! (They are highly confidential)

OP posts:
ForPinkDuck · 23/04/2026 00:18

I was in this situation years ago. I used to leave the office when it kicked off as i couldnt do any work anyway. These situations tend to resolve themselves.

SteveTheHair · 23/04/2026 00:10

Against the grain here but don’t report. Have a quiet word with him first

FoxandDuck · 23/04/2026 00:10

Is there a company policy on relationships at work?

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 23/04/2026 00:04

CurdinHenry · 22/04/2026 23:21

I do think the woman is a bit dangerous (in the mad/vengeful sense) which is the main thing giving me pause but it's just unacceptable at this point. The other women in the office are all scared to talk to him alone because she will act as though we are trying to "steal" him (oh God it's so so embarrassing). And he acts on her every whim which makes the balance of work really annoying.

what about talking to him via email ?

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · 23/04/2026 00:04

personally id get the popcorn and watch the drama unfold

Original poster
CurdinHenry · 22/04/2026 23:21

I do think the woman is a bit dangerous (in the mad/vengeful sense) which is the main thing giving me pause but it's just unacceptable at this point. The other women in the office are all scared to talk to him alone because she will act as though we are trying to "steal" him (oh God it's so so embarrassing). And he acts on her every whim which makes the balance of work really annoying.

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/04/2026 23:18

HR

Sarnpark · 22/04/2026 23:16

This reply has been withdrawn

Post withdrawn at author's request

DramaFrontRowSeatWPopcorn · 22/04/2026 23:13

Your thread has inspired my new username.

I’d love it! And I’d be waiting for the fireworks when the wife finds out.

Butterme · 22/04/2026 23:08

I absolutely would.

Anyone making the atmosphere toxic needs pulling up.

Is it more a case of no one wants to say anything as they’re worried it will come back on them?

Could you do it anonymously or as a group?

TheSpecialTwo · 22/04/2026 22:33

Yep, report it.

Original poster
CurdinHenry · 22/04/2026 22:30

Birdsnesthead · 22/04/2026 22:27

Beyond unprofessional, report them.

Yeah it's reached the point where her volatility and his passivity is scary. I think she could assault anyone she thought was trespassing on her "territory". Which seriously love nobody is going to. And it's actually not even her territory so much as his wife's.

OP posts:
xOlive · 22/04/2026 22:29

Do it, raise the grievance.
How embarrassing for both of them.
This happened where I worked years ago, the female manager (married to a man, kids) was having an affair with a female colleague. Good god, that was chaos when that all came out.

Birdsnesthead · 22/04/2026 22:27

Beyond unprofessional, report them.