Two colleagues are carrying on and affair and it's really unpleasant for everyone else in the department

SOME people would consider testing this out with a bit of strategically placed and juicy information and see how she acts. But thats the realms of tv drama. In real life, gather proof and information, and collectively go to HR. And as salacious as it all is and I know its human nature, but remember there are people's lives that are going to crash when this comes out.(not the two in the office, thats their own fault, but their partners and families)

Oh unclench 🙄

Report. This happened in my workplace 2 years ago. They were both sacked.

Do you have a see it, say it type policy ?

i would send a short bullet pointed email to hr listing any shouting/situations which have happened and include comment from visitors.

Keep it factual and all personal concerns out of it. You will have done your part and because it is in writting they will have to deal with it. Also it covers your arse.

That is the number 1 policy in my company CYA

Don't complain individually. Team up with your manager and everyone else affected.

No, you're not the cow, they are. Hide your bunny 🐰. That sounds miserable.

I would tell both of them if they can't keep it out of work you will report they are bing equally unprofessional

I agree with this. Unless you've seen them kissing etc. you don't have evidence they are having an affair. Create a log of disruption caused, keep it factual. Be very sure that you have a Plan B if you're the one that gets pushed out.

To be frank, in a company that's allowed this to continue for so long, I would assume that their first instinct will be to protect the manager. So don't assume that a grievance will resolve the situation.

I wondered how long it would take for the advice to pour in to "tell HR". You need to speak to your manager about making a complaint, it is their job to help resolve your concerns and the impact this is having on you. They may seek some guidance from HR in terms of best approach or understanding any workplace relationship policy.

Oh, give over 😂.

I would raise it. However I would stick to the observed facts. "On Wednesday Steve shouted at Sharon in front of us all and Sharon spent the afternoon in tears.." as oppose to referencing that they are having an affair.

Sounds an awful environment to have to work in.

Also, if it's this obvious to everyone, how can he not be worried that his wife isn't going to find out pretty soon?!

I’d be inclined to agree. Go in and talk to him about something else, and add ‘by the way, you need to sort out your personal life. It is impacting on the entire office.’

What about going full popcorn bucket/scorched earth and sending anonymous letters to HR, the spouses and the pair of them?

Loads of detail, how it's affecting the work environment etc.

I'm a 'Look after No.1/All Or Nothing kinda gal after what I went though in the 90's at work and again since (got the sack/went to tribunal/got a payout/still lost my job over something that was impacting everyone at work and injuries were getting sustained/someone had to be the adult and report bad stuff sort of situation).

Everyone gets 'mortgage mouth' in these situations but the stress builds over weeks and months and you don't realise you are being personally impacted until you shake constantly and haven't had a decent nights sleep in weeks and once it's sorted, it takes you months to feel well again.

Maybe this isn't as severe as that but you get my drift.

In reality I think I might go with a FGS can you two hear yourselves outburst.

They both sound awful, but so does your nasty patronising use of the word "love".

Hilarious suggestion re sending the DVD!

Call me cynical but are they likely to just deny the extent of the arguments? Are you able to film some of it in a webcam etc purely because she sounds so volatile? It’s harder to ignore by those you report it to and harder to play down. I wouldn’t discuss it with colleagues, it does sound a delicate situation with this woman’s ability to control herself

Maybe I’m a bolshy cow but no way would a colleague intimidate me into not speaking to my boss about a work issue because of jealousy.

Does no one ever just tell her to wind her neck in and tell him he is being unprofessional and your going to make a complaint unless they sort themselves out. Like say it out loud in front of everyone next time they have a row. Stand up to them!

Surely it would be a reason for him to be dismissed for sharing them?

I think it depends very much how big the company is and how it's structured. Often small businesses, don't have an HR department and the senior person is the owner!

If the company is structured in such a way that there is someone senior, beyond the head of department who is involved in the affair or an HR department, then escalate the issue.

Will senior management and/or HR support you? Could there be any fallout regarding your job if either party found out it was you who complained?

Is the head of department also in charge of the person he's having an affair with? In most companies this would be an absolute No. It's a power imbalance, for a start. If this woman is reading her affair partner's confidential emails, then that is likely a reason for her to be dismissed.

Start looking for another job and report to hr

Hes head of department , how do you think hes going to feel about you if you complain? Do you think hes going to like you and make life easy for you?