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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell DH to stop sulking after my jokey comment?

111 replies

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:00

I feel like DH has become a right grumpy so and so recently.

We are attending a friends’ wedding, it’s an abroad one in July. A couple we are close (she’s my best friend) with are also attending, and we met up with them on Sunday.

They had hoped to book the same hotel as us but found the rates had increased since we booked, so are staying elsewhere.

On Sunday, my friends H jokingly asked if we are sad they aren’t joining us. I replied along the lines of - ‘of course, I really wanted to see your bulge in your speedos by the pool’ and they both laughed. We have a very jokey relationship so it was a fairly ordinary comment.

DH had a sulk on driving home and when I asked why, he said the comment I made was inappropriate.

Is it me or does he need to lighten up a bit?

OP posts:
wand3rer · 22/04/2026 19:22

It’s not the same as commenting on someone’s bikini body. Speedos are notoriously unflattering 😬

That being said, it would never cross my mind to talk about my friend’s husband’s looks!

LoremIpsumCici · 22/04/2026 19:22

AlexaStopAlexaNo · 22/04/2026 19:17

And the award for the most obvious reverse goes to…

At least it shows we don’t have double standards because I would say the same if it was a reverse.

LoremIpsumCici · 22/04/2026 19:21

Not a good look to be sexually harassing your best friend’s husband.

Perhaps the avoiding the same hotel was not about the rates so much as the mates as it sounds like you have form for this around her husband.

Happy Margot Robbie GIF
Error404FucksNotFound · 22/04/2026 19:21

You said you were looking forward to seeing the outline of his penis in tight fitting swimwear and you cant see that's not appropriate and you dont think it compares to a tits comment?

You're right. It compares to a vulva comment.

Inappropriate. Id be pissed off too.

Kangarude · 22/04/2026 19:20

Shitmonger · 22/04/2026 19:19

I think I’d rather squeeze a lemon into my eyes than comment on my friend’s husband’s dick. Grim.

😂
Agreed. Such a naff thing to say

TittyGajillions · 22/04/2026 19:20

Probably best not to mention your friend's husbands dick in front of your husband or anyone else really.

Beachwalker66 · 22/04/2026 19:19

Utterly cringe

Shitmonger · 22/04/2026 19:19

I think I’d rather squeeze a lemon into my eyes than comment on my friend’s husband’s dick. Grim.

MushMonster · 22/04/2026 19:18

That was crass of you OP.

BoredZelda · 22/04/2026 19:18

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:07

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

It is exactly the same. It doesn’t matter what you’d have thought, you offended him with your crass comment. Apologise to him.

AlexaStopAlexaNo · 22/04/2026 19:17

And the award for the most obvious reverse goes to…

ParisianLady · 22/04/2026 19:15

I’d not be happy if my DH said the equivalent to another woman.

I think you should apologise, it wasn’t badly meant but shouldn’t have been said and has upset him. A quick but sincere apology, and listening to him, should sort it out.

missmollygreen · 22/04/2026 19:14

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:07

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

Not the same?
You where talking about seeing your friends penis bulge. How would he saying about looking forward to seeing a friends boobs/arse in a swim suit be any different?

ClearFruit · 22/04/2026 19:14

WhatAMarvelousTune · 22/04/2026 19:02

Well I’d be a bit annoyed if DH commented, even jokingly, that he really wanted to see his friend’s wife in a bikini.

As usual, first post nails it.

LoremIpsumCici · 22/04/2026 19:13

Gross. 🤮
Why would you say that to your best friend’s husband unless you want to swing or swap?

I agree with your DH that your sexualised ´joke’ was inappropriate.

It belongs to another era.

Sunbathing Handsome Jack GIF by Mashed
JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 22/04/2026 19:13

Yeah, I have a close to the line, sweary sense of humour. That's grim though.

Agree your DH probably thinks it's embarrassing rather than that he is jealous.

LoveItaly · 22/04/2026 19:13

What a crass thing to say, I don’t blame him for being irritated by it. Maybe you’ve given him the ick?

Luckyingame · 22/04/2026 19:12

I'm 47 if relevant, married and NEVER made such sort of a comment to a man. Just wouldn't think of it.

ThomasinaTrot · 22/04/2026 19:12

Bloody weird thing to say, op.

VivaciousCurrentBun · 22/04/2026 19:12

I think that’s off, how would you feel if he joked he wanted to see your mates fanny outline.

GreyCarpet · 22/04/2026 19:11

Nope. Definitely you, OP.

How would you have felt if your husband had said he was looking forward to seeing your best friend's great tits in a bikini?

I wouldn't say it, I wouldn't appreciate similar being said about me or to my partner. It's one of those thoughts you keep in your head.

Imaginingdragonsagain · 22/04/2026 19:11

Yes, I think that’s a bit gross to be honest.

PoppinjayPolly · 22/04/2026 19:09

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:07

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

But if he’d said, looking forward to seeing your perky nipples in your bikini?

Hopefulsalmon · 22/04/2026 19:09

Bit of a gross comment tbh. I don't blame him for being unhappy with this.

weareallcats · 22/04/2026 19:08

Gosh. I am good friends with my best friend’s husband but I wouldn’t say that to him! I think YABU.