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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell DH to stop sulking after my jokey comment?

111 replies

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:00

I feel like DH has become a right grumpy so and so recently.

We are attending a friends’ wedding, it’s an abroad one in July. A couple we are close (she’s my best friend) with are also attending, and we met up with them on Sunday.

They had hoped to book the same hotel as us but found the rates had increased since we booked, so are staying elsewhere.

On Sunday, my friends H jokingly asked if we are sad they aren’t joining us. I replied along the lines of - ‘of course, I really wanted to see your bulge in your speedos by the pool’ and they both laughed. We have a very jokey relationship so it was a fairly ordinary comment.

DH had a sulk on driving home and when I asked why, he said the comment I made was inappropriate.

Is it me or does he need to lighten up a bit?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Hayfever25 · 23/04/2026 12:04

popcorn215 · 22/04/2026 21:41

Crikey don’t post that on here! how dare you speak like that, revolting, your husband should leave you, get his ducks in a row and start divorce.

You really need to think about your circle, it’s not good. This is not just ‘banter’. Women are the problem in this world today thinking things like this are ok.

In other news yes, tell him to lighten up and put some extra tight Speedo’s on in July 😉

😂don’t forget the free 30 minutes with a shit hot lawyer and to start trawling through the financial paperwork!

OP posts:
brunettemic · 22/04/2026 22:54

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:07

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

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It’s obviously the same and you know it is.

Gazelda · 22/04/2026 22:51

SalemSaberhagen99 · 22/04/2026 21:33

I completely agree. I don't think you meant it of course and I am sure he knows that but it made him feel uncomfortable and if you care that you made him uncomfortable (if you don't, why not?) then apologise.

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I think that OP also owes both of her friends an apology. If it’s sincere and done soon, you should all be able to put it behind you.

Tourmalines · 22/04/2026 22:44

It’s you . It’s one of those times when it’s ‘I’m a female. I can say it ‘ but if a male was to say that he couldn’t wait to see her balloons in a bikini , well different outcome completely! As you can see , you were crass !

Pippa12 · 22/04/2026 22:37

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:07

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

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It’s exactly the same and you’re out of order. You should apologise to your husband and your friend.

Pricelessadvice · 22/04/2026 22:29

Yeh that’s a bit weird. I’m all for a joke, but that’s not even funny. Surely something like “wandering about in your budge smugglers” would have been a bit more amusing and a bit less crass!!
Why are you talking about your mates husbands bulge??
What if your husband said he was sorry he wasn’t going to see your mates tits in her bikini? Would you not feel that was a bit weird?

lulubalu · 22/04/2026 22:18

In answer to your question, yes, it's you. Your DH doesn't need to lighten up. HTH

outerspacepotato · 22/04/2026 22:07

That's a crude asshole comment.

Maybe your husband got the ick. I sure would.

ThatLilacTiger · 22/04/2026 22:02

That's mega fucking weird, you creep.

PlacidPenelope · 22/04/2026 21:43

Ugh, what a crass, sleazy, completely inappropriate thing to say.

Your husband is right to be grumpy and pissed off with you. I'd feel pissed off and utterly creeped out if a friend said that to my husband in front of me as would my husband. I bet your friends are now glad they are not in the same hotel with you after that comment.

asdbaybeeee · 22/04/2026 21:43

Yeah sorry I agree with the majority it was a crass comment, if my dh had commented on one of my friends bodies id have been annoyed and if one of my friends made a comment about my shud be miffed

popcorn215 · 22/04/2026 21:41

Crikey don’t post that on here! how dare you speak like that, revolting, your husband should leave you, get his ducks in a row and start divorce.

You really need to think about your circle, it’s not good. This is not just ‘banter’. Women are the problem in this world today thinking things like this are ok.

In other news yes, tell him to lighten up and put some extra tight Speedo’s on in July 😉

HatKat · 22/04/2026 21:37

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:07

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

Show quote history

It literally is the same 😂 I wouldn't be happy!

shhblackbag · 22/04/2026 21:36

That's gross and inappropriate. I would have been pissed off with you. YABU.

WallaceinAnderland · 22/04/2026 21:35

Totally inappropriate comment OP.

Cillmantain123 · 22/04/2026 21:34

What you said was completely inappropriate
I would be mortified if I was your husband

SalemSaberhagen99 · 22/04/2026 21:33

ParisianLady · 22/04/2026 19:15

I’d not be happy if my DH said the equivalent to another woman.

I think you should apologise, it wasn’t badly meant but shouldn’t have been said and has upset him. A quick but sincere apology, and listening to him, should sort it out.

I completely agree. I don't think you meant it of course and I am sure he knows that but it made him feel uncomfortable and if you care that you made him uncomfortable (if you don't, why not?) then apologise.

Pinkflamingo10 · 22/04/2026 21:30

YABU and gross

Morepositivemum · 22/04/2026 21:30

Saying this to anyone I’d be thinking wtf?!?!? My partner making a comment about something on the same lines but woman related I’d be thinking eff you!!!

Malasana · 22/04/2026 21:27

You need to apologise to your husband. It’s not grumpy of him to be unhappy about you making comments like this.
If he’d said to your friend he’d been looking forward to seeing her massive boobs in her bikini, I reckon you’d be feeling sore about it as well.
I’d bet money on them booking a different hotel not because of the cost but because you’re embarrassing to be around.
You’re in the wrong - it’s not funny, it’s crossing a line.

FourSevenThree · 22/04/2026 21:24

The comment was weird. And even weirder is trying to get internet support to agree with you that he is in the wrong.

By this time I wouldn't sulk about the initial comment, but about your dismissal of his view about that.

PolkaDotPorridge · 22/04/2026 21:23

It’s definitely a you problem

GeishaTrumpet · 22/04/2026 21:22

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:00

I feel like DH has become a right grumpy so and so recently.

We are attending a friends’ wedding, it’s an abroad one in July. A couple we are close (she’s my best friend) with are also attending, and we met up with them on Sunday.

They had hoped to book the same hotel as us but found the rates had increased since we booked, so are staying elsewhere.

On Sunday, my friends H jokingly asked if we are sad they aren’t joining us. I replied along the lines of - ‘of course, I really wanted to see your bulge in your speedos by the pool’ and they both laughed. We have a very jokey relationship so it was a fairly ordinary comment.

DH had a sulk on driving home and when I asked why, he said the comment I made was inappropriate.

Is it me or does he need to lighten up a bit?

How would you have felt if he mentioned her boobs in a bikini?

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/04/2026 21:20

Yuk.

That is all.

TheDivergentEnigma · 22/04/2026 21:18

Hayfever25 · 22/04/2026 19:07

I’m not sure that’s quite the same. But I’d have laughed if he made a similar quip about seeing my friend in her bikini.

Show quote history

Of course it is, you dont get away with it just because the shoe is on the other foot, inappropriate and tasteless jokes are inappropriate and tasteless jokes regardless of who says them, such double standards,