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Original poster

HolyCheeses and Mary… the spreadsheet, the bullshit bingo and the aftermath. Part deux

434 replies

HolyCheeses · 22/04/2026 17:36

Was asked to start a thread.

started a thread.

OP posts:
Cherriesandapples1 · 25/04/2026 21:04

HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 21:01

That’s what has concerned me the most!

Show quote history

I also wonder if he'd inflated the sky bill, the food bill etc, so he could chuck more of your money at the mortgage in order to allow him to get it paid off in the 2 years. Probably has a 15 year mortgage on it.

Original poster
HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 21:01

Cherriesandapples1 · 25/04/2026 20:59

I wonder how many years he'd have continued to charge you for mortgage contributions, once he'd cleared the mortgage in 2 years

That’s what has concerned me the most!

OP posts:
Cherriesandapples1 · 25/04/2026 20:59

I wonder how many years he'd have continued to charge you for mortgage contributions, once he'd cleared the mortgage in 2 years

Original poster
HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 20:56

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 25/04/2026 20:50

Well done @HolyCheeses onwards and upwards! I’m so happy for you.

are you able to give any details about the Facebook post, or would that be outing?

One of those
‘you do xyz for someone only to have it thrown in your face’

Are you ok hun? Posts.

OP posts:
cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 25/04/2026 20:50

Well done @HolyCheeses onwards and upwards! I’m so happy for you.

are you able to give any details about the Facebook post, or would that be outing?

Original poster
HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 20:42

ThatCyanCat · 25/04/2026 20:41

If he could pay the mortgage off completely in two years, why did he need you subbing half of it?

Quite! Doesn’t that tell you everything.

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 20:42

There’s other stuff that would be very identifying so for obviously reasons I won’t share all.
Thanks for asking I’m feeling remarkably ok with it. I’ve had a lovely evening and having supper made for me, this is the kind of stuff I’ve not been able to do and it’s a welcomed distraction. Home tomorrow and maybe I might feel a bit wobbly. I’ll take it all in my stride.

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 25/04/2026 20:41

If he could pay the mortgage off completely in two years, why did he need you subbing half of it?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 25/04/2026 20:39

I expect the fact that you chose to meet in a neutral coffee shop alerted him to something being an issue. Shame he didn't seem sad / disappointed that he was losing the love of his life to whom he was going to propose.

You are well rid.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 25/04/2026 20:38

I think he got one that wasn’t on the bingo card. Does that mean he won? I mean, @HolyCheeses has won anyway, but still…

Original poster
HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 20:38

I 100% did not get gold digger!

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 25/04/2026 20:38

The BB was right. I think he's ticked nearly every box... How callous he sounds.

Also noted that for someone who has been so vague on arrangements and never had the brain space/time to go into details of it would work, it didn't take him any time to marshall his arguments and protests did it?.. Sounds like he didn't even has to think twice to come out with those nasty comments. And the mean FB post too.

"Of course it wouldn't be 50/50 because there would be other people living there." Does he mean his parents. Its not what he said at first.

Plus. "My parents love you so much"... the cheek of it. Now you've got to feel guilty for disappointing his parents. Throwing in anything to churn up the guilt factor.

Lucky escape OP.
Hope you are feeling OK after that blastback.

theyalwayssaythat · 25/04/2026 20:36

Well done! What a prick.

FreedomForties · 25/04/2026 20:34

HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 20:30

Hi All
Its done. I did not want to wait any longer

I decided to organise a day/night with a friend who’s not far from the city he lives in and have an update.

I won’t be adding too many further updates but suffice to say he did indeed reveal himself a bit more.

We met in a very nice coffee shop I thought somewhere neutral would be best. He was pretty shocked then I got served quite a volley.

We had in the medley:

What a waste of time it’s been being with you
You’ve been stringing me on all this time
I didn’t mean 50:50 obviously because there are more than 2 people living there
I was going to ask you to marry me
What if I could pay the mortgage off completely in 2 years?
I don’t like all the design you did in the house and now I am stuck with it
I’d never have dumped you
I think that’s the long and short
My parents love you so much
You cannot be better off without me that’s just a excuse

I paid half my bill then left!

Love the saying ‘throw this one back in the ocean’

Thanks all for your advice - I really did need it. He blocked me on everything and wrote a long FB post before he did that -

Now for life to really start alone x

Well done, and hope you're alright OP! 💐

ThatCyanCat · 25/04/2026 20:31

HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 20:30

Hi All
Its done. I did not want to wait any longer

I decided to organise a day/night with a friend who’s not far from the city he lives in and have an update.

I won’t be adding too many further updates but suffice to say he did indeed reveal himself a bit more.

We met in a very nice coffee shop I thought somewhere neutral would be best. He was pretty shocked then I got served quite a volley.

We had in the medley:

What a waste of time it’s been being with you
You’ve been stringing me on all this time
I didn’t mean 50:50 obviously because there are more than 2 people living there
I was going to ask you to marry me
What if I could pay the mortgage off completely in 2 years?
I don’t like all the design you did in the house and now I am stuck with it
I’d never have dumped you
I think that’s the long and short
My parents love you so much
You cannot be better off without me that’s just a excuse

I paid half my bill then left!

Love the saying ‘throw this one back in the ocean’

Thanks all for your advice - I really did need it. He blocked me on everything and wrote a long FB post before he did that -

Now for life to really start alone x

Bugger, all I needed was "gold digger" and I'd have got full house!

Original poster
HolyCheeses · 25/04/2026 20:30

Hi All
Its done. I did not want to wait any longer

I decided to organise a day/night with a friend who’s not far from the city he lives in and have an update.

I won’t be adding too many further updates but suffice to say he did indeed reveal himself a bit more.

We met in a very nice coffee shop I thought somewhere neutral would be best. He was pretty shocked then I got served quite a volley.

We had in the medley:

What a waste of time it’s been being with you
You’ve been stringing me on all this time
I didn’t mean 50:50 obviously because there are more than 2 people living there
I was going to ask you to marry me
What if I could pay the mortgage off completely in 2 years?
I don’t like all the design you did in the house and now I am stuck with it
I’d never have dumped you
I think that’s the long and short
My parents love you so much
You cannot be better off without me that’s just a excuse

I paid half my bill then left!

Love the saying ‘throw this one back in the ocean’

Thanks all for your advice - I really did need it. He blocked me on everything and wrote a long FB post before he did that -

Now for life to really start alone x

OP posts:
Rockchicknana · 25/04/2026 19:45

BeFunnyBiscuit · 23/04/2026 16:19

Historically women are groomed to think they should just go in and take a man's offer to cohabit < hence the marriage institution is sooooo important to be kept as a legal protection > and never earn any money, but put an apron on and stand in the kitchen all day and wait with aromatic dishes for him to come back from wherever, looking gorgeous and after dinner just open their legs for the man, asking for nothing but keeping quiet. Men still think this is how women believe life is and I find this seriously offensive, even as a woman coming from a poorer, more traditionalist type of country

Show quote history

You've just described my ex husband!!

RawBloomers · 25/04/2026 19:33

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 24/04/2026 19:47

Doing the same is just her stooping to his level and going tit for tat. She doesn't need to string him along like he has.

Show quote history

No it isn’t. She isn’t talking about stringing him along. She’s talking about the first opportunity to talk face to face, which is in just a few days.

JenniferBooth · 25/04/2026 19:15

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 23/04/2026 16:16

As another poster has said, as women we tend to be worried about being seen as 'gold diggers' so we often bend over backwards to prove that we are not, to the point that we will end up funding someone else's lavish lifestyle to the detriment of our own.
This man is capitalising on this.

Yep You see it on the who pays on dates threads ALL the time.

JenniferBooth · 25/04/2026 18:58

ThatCyanCat · 23/04/2026 11:32

It'll be quite something if he does indeed accuse you of gold digging...

But it doesn't matter. Too many women allow themselves to be absolutely dessicated lest some vampiric twat accuse them of gold digging, usually one who, as the saying goes, ain't got shit.

A phrase i learnt during Covid was They are the very thing that they accuse you of

JenniferBooth · 25/04/2026 18:43

ThatCyanCat · 23/04/2026 11:32

It'll be quite something if he does indeed accuse you of gold digging...

But it doesn't matter. Too many women allow themselves to be absolutely dessicated lest some vampiric twat accuse them of gold digging, usually one who, as the saying goes, ain't got shit.

Yeah its always Kev who drives a Ford Fiesta and lives in a one bedroom flat who bangs on about gold diggers

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 24/04/2026 22:34

FateAmenableToChange · 24/04/2026 20:29

How about make a counter proposal, one that advantges you to the same extent. Be v curious to see how lovingly he responds...

But why continue it? Say he agrees to keep her - she still wants to leave him.

She just needs to break up with him and extract herself. She doesn't need the games.

BeFunnyBiscuit · 24/04/2026 22:04

PoliteEagle · 24/04/2026 21:22

It is all turning to a circus now. What’s the point of this thread now? She decided to dump him, good for her and?

the man made it a circus...but imagine he realises she is worth having her in his life and he is a dick losing her and actually proposes a marriage and a generous loving attitude to money, not abusing her good heart....is he capable of that much change in over a week?

PoliteEagle · 24/04/2026 21:22

It is all turning to a circus now. What’s the point of this thread now? She decided to dump him, good for her and?

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 24/04/2026 20:31

FateAmenableToChange · 24/04/2026 20:29

How about make a counter proposal, one that advantges you to the same extent. Be v curious to see how lovingly he responds...

That’s good, you can bet he wouldn’t be expecting a counter proposal! I bet all the wonderful wise women on this thread who are good at figures could be persuaded to produce a counter-proposal spreadsheet to the OP’s advantage!