AIBU to let my nine year old shave her legs?

I have Hirsutism (I was later diagnosed with PCOS) and I was this 9 year old with hairy legs. It really hit my confidence and made me feel so insecure.

I was around 10 when my mum bought me my first razor, at my request. She bought me one of the ones with the gel bars attached which made shaving a little gentler while I got used to it, as well as a shaving gel.

As an adult, I used an electric shaver (I'm very hairy!) as well as a razor for a smoother finish.

It took some practice and getting used to, but just encourage her to go slow and be supportive!

I showed my daughter how to shave her legs safely when she was 9 after her expressing how self conscious she was about it.

I remember being very self conscious of new hair on my legs at that age and I wasn’t allowed to shave them. I was getting bullied by boys at school which led to me using my Dad’s razor and cutting my legs to pieces and being yelled at. My mum tried waxing mine but I’m not putting my daughter through that.

Kids go through a lot, if this is one less thing for her to worry about I’m happy with that.

My youngest, now 9 year old, hasn’t mentioned shaving so she doesn’t. I’ll show her when she asks me to.

Please let her shave. I have dark hair and my mother wouldn’t let me shave my legs until high school. I was bullied for it in primary school as there were no cubicles for changing in my day and age. I still feel the effects of it now as a grown ass adult. 😔

I was similar to many posters on here and I was ten when I shaved my legs for the first time. My mum was disappointed when she saw I had done this because she isn’t very much into hair removal as I am (kind of on opposite ends). She was the same about make up too so I always felt weird and odd doing these things. As a mum myself now, I would like to support my DD if she came to me with something like this, like you are, OP.

Edited as I hit ‘post’ way too early.

Yes in my experience girls can often be worse than boys for this sort of thing. For me it was boys unfortunately. We actually have a wonderful nurse who comes into school in Year 4 and does talk to all the children about bodies changing and children's sensitivities and the fact that they shouldn't be pointing anything out on someone else's body, even if it's asking an innocent question, as that can be directed to someone else at another time. Might not hurt to ask if there's anything planned to come up like that or a lesson in PSHCE. Obviously, not in an accusatory way.

My 10 year old has been self conscious since she was 5 and a boy pointed out her hairy knees to the reception class. He self consciousness has got worse with puberty .She started shaving them this year along with her armpits as I realised how much it was hurting her confidence and what she would wear.

Being a hairy legged radical feminist myself I have had to accept that my daughter hit puberty earlier than I did and also lives in a very different world than I did. Therefore for the last term of primary school when they do swimming she gets taught about shaving and associated care. Of course she also gets a lecture about women's oppression and beauty standards but she knows that is the deal. Whatever I think about this sexist world she still has to live in it. If showing her how to shave is an important part of her still enjoying sports then that's the price to pay. Priorities.

I assume you've also reported the issue to the school? They should be talking to the boys about their sexist remarks

Bit of a leap given that no mention was made.

OP doesn't say what the catalyst was and a PP talks about her daughter's friend (presumably female) remarking on her legs being so hairy.

I can understand that girls feel pressured by stupid societal norms but kids of that age notice (and often remark on, even unkindly) differences in others, regardless of gender.

I'm not sure I'd appreciate my DS being labelled sexist at 9 for asking someone why they have a big nose / hairy arms / ginger hair etc. I'd be having private words about sensitivity but that'd be it.

Genuinely confused by the "not yet" replies. No one has explained why. Somone mentioned it as a lead in to other beauty treatments/trends - I couldn't be further from any of these and yet started shaving at a young age. I don't think this is logical at all. Kind of like saying if you have your hair cut, you'll be getting lash extensions next...

I use a Phillips lady shaver for body hair. For underarms sometimes only a regular blade one will get it smooth enough though. The electric shavers help with bumps - especially if she wants to do a bikini line at whatever point. I can't do it with anything else as the ingrown hairs are just insane! I also remember having a braun one that you can change from a shaver to an epilator. Again though, ingrown hairs from this were not great but not everyone has the same issue. I have keratosis pilaris so I probably get them worse than other people. It took me years to figure this out. I tried waxing too. Unfortunately, even though I had no hair, I was still in a position that I only wore trousers because of the red lumps everywhere (I have to do my whole leg and they were worse above the knee - I have memories and photos of me at the acropolis in Athens on a school trip in a heatwave in jeans 🥵).

I think it's great that you've figured out that this is the best option. I've certainly never managed to hurt myself with my electric razor (but sometimes if the batteries run out, I've nicked myself in the knee with a normal razor even as an adult). I think the Phillips razors have little balls on the end of the sharp bits of the trimmer bar to prevent scrapes - I feel like I have had other razors that have given me grazes before I discovered this (I remember I got tempted by a mini one of some make for a holiday - didn't use it again!). Worth looking into. Maybe other brands do this too? Just remember to not press it down I guess (which a child might be tempted to if it doesn't get all the hair at first pass?). Good luck!

I let my dd shave her legs at 9. She's always been very hairy and a vile child at school kept pointing them out. We had a chat about it and she decided she wanted to get rid of the hair so we did.
She was refusing to wear skirts or shorts and I just wanted her to be comfortable. They're her legs not mine.

Yes if she’s self conscious then i’d let her yes

Another one whose parent thought shaving was unnecessary but I had very dark hairy legs! I just did it anyway. I didn’t cut myself to shreds like some of you are saying though, a disposable razor and a bar of soap was fine.

Honestly hair removal is such a non issue it’s weird and controlling behaviour to prevent your daughter from removing it.

OP I’m not sure about electric shavers because I’ve never found one that gives a close enough shave (which is important if you have pale skin and dark hair as you can see the stubble!) but a decent Gillette razor, the sort where you change the blades regularly, and a can of shaving foam is likely to be fine for a 9 year old. Although personally I’d ask her if she’d prefer to wax, as if she starts young she’ll find as she gets older the hair doesn’t grow back.

I’ve let my 10 year old shave her armpits for about 9 months now. She had really long hair there and it was uncomfortable.
I bought her proper shaving stuff and a simple 2 blade disposable razor as I read the less blades the more gentle on young skin.

One thing I ensure I do though is not shave my own armpits religiously. I do it when I want to, not when I feel I should or not just because I’m going in public. I also wax my legs around 1-3 times a year so have hairy legs often:

i want her to know it’s a choice, not something she’ should be compelled to do because someone takes the mickey out of her. I do recognise that it’s absolutely society that compels us women to do these things, and as she gets older I will have many conversations around this, I want her to see from me that hairy armpits don’t often the reaction you think it’s going to and it’s ok to not want to. Mind you I’m 50 now so all my ducks have gone, I definitely felt differently at 38!

Please support her.
I was around year 5 too.
My mum did not allow me, so I eventually did it on secret and absolutely cut myself to bits. Constantly.

My neighbour’s DD has very dark hair and had a bush by that age. They started trimming it as she was embarrassed by it.

I think once a girl becomes self conscious about leg hair that's when it's time to get an electric shaver. All these too young posters, what do you expect these girls to do? Go several years without wearing shorts or going swimming until you deem it acceptable to start shaving?

I personally don’t think shaving is a solely patriarchal thing. I do it because I prefer how it feels.

. She feels self conscious now! In an ideal world she wouldn’t have done until she was 12 or 13, but that’s not happened has it. It won’t make any difference in the long run, except she’ll have a happy daughter, one that feels that her mother will help her when she needs it.

I would go electric shaver. I burned the hell out of myself with cream remover as was too embarrassed to say to my mum.

I remember when I was 10 a local weird man told me I needed to shave my legs. Lovely.

My daughter and her friends were around that age when they decided to shave their legs. They did it together. One used her dad’s razor (without soap or shaving foam) and another one used silver gaffer tape. They ripped the top layers off the skin on their legs and were in a right mess. Fortunately my daughter used sellotape, so had less pain and raw skin 🙄.

I bought her Veet after that. Not sure if it’s recommended for girls nowadays, but I agree you should buy your daughter an electric shaver or similar to avoid her trying DIY methods.

I remember being teased at 11 because of how hairy my legs were. I would have loved to have been able to shave them so I think I’d help her with an electric razor

Would you consider waxing or laser hair removal ? Will last much longer and avoid stubble.
i was hairy from a young age too, much less is now thanks for laser.

Way too young imo

I can’t remember how old I was when I started shaving my legs, but I know it was in primary school after another child (girl) started calling me gorilla legs 🙄. Thankfully my mum didn’t make my life harder by stopping me shaving them!