Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

She was never taking them as is clearly stated in the OP’s first post. 🙄

Have a fab holiday OP. Your plan is a good one and your ex is an unreasonable arse ( I have similar).

Some of the comments on this thread have made me despair for the reading and comprehension abilities of the posters.

OP, I have the following suggestions for you to become the best mum according to the MN critics:

• Dump your 'new' partner. You're not supposed to have company or (horror!) sex until your children are fully grown
• Do not ever leave them on their own for longer periods. Go along for anything - job interviews, dates etc. They will definitely benefit from their mother's presence
• Next holiday: you and the kids in Greece, 3 weeks in August. You'll visit every ancient ruin, every museum etc. In the evening you'll read the Odyssey to them (in ancient Greek). In the morning, you'll review the day before with them.

It didn't say that in the original post did it? Not everyone lives in the same country either which is why I said I don't know where she lives. Not sure what's hard to understand about that?

If they weren't meant to go anyway, Bugger the ex! He sounds a complete nightmare. If you were to take them, he'd not be happy either I expect? Or sounds that type at least!

😁😁😁

My stepson managed to detonate 3 microwaves in a year at 15 lol. Heating beans in a tin.

Omg this threads responses are hilarious. 2 of the kids are old enough to leave home smd get married. My generation were maiy in full time work at 16. She didnt need to get their known nanny in. The kids will be grateful she there to cook & prob taxi them for them. There at school all day and got homework clubs and then in their rooms gaming. Honestly no wonder all the youngsters are coming into workplace and acting so clueless. Bit of independence do them good. They are old enough to demand they stay either their Dad if so minded too.

Leaving 15,16,17 year olds with a baby sitter! I think the baby sitter will find herself on her own with the kids clearing off and staying with friends 😆

Sheesh OP I'm sorry you are getting such a hard time here (after the first few pages I just decided to read your posts & see the comments you were responding to!)
For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing (not that you need my approval!) and all sounds perfectly sensible. The house sitter is ideal for keeping a watchful eye/friendly ear whilst you are away and ensuring that your eldest doesn't have to act in loco parentis for your younger 2. Not neglectful or overbearing in the slightest.
Our 19 year old will be home alone again this summer when we go away and our lovely pet sitter is moving in for the D-dogs and D-cats...but also to ensure he doesn't burn the place down and has someone to chat to from time to time. I'm not particularly concerned about parties as he's not really the type and has a full time job involving unsociable shifts but the pet sitter has known us for over 4 years and I know she will check in on him and make sure he's not lonely about to poison himself from dubious cooking/gone off ingredients in the fridge
For those "perfect parents" on here that would never dream of leaving their kids, I wonder if they have kids the same ages as yours?! Also likely they haven't had to co-parent with a narcissistic coercive controlling bully!
Enjoy your hols!

Not all kids go to state school. Private schools set their own holidays and they change from year to year. Not sure why that’s so difficult to understand.

Have you actually read the OPs posts?

For goodness sake! OP is going to Europe for a week, she’s not deserting, neglecting or abusing her teenage children. Rather she’s modelling that being independent of each other occasionally is healthy, something they’ll be keen to experience themselves in the not too distant future. The DBS nanny means that everyone’s needs are safely met and the kids don’t have extra responsibilities whilst OP is away, not can they inadvertently get into bother. No doubt they’ll all be pleased to see each other after a week apart and the teens will be delighted with the duty free chocolate or whatever else OP brings home. Of all the things in the world to get on your high horse about, this is not one of them!

Sorry, I would not leave your children home alone. They are not mature enough to be left for a week, things could rapidly fall apart. I feel that you should have booked this holiday out of term time and your ex husband should have had them but you have made a safe arrangement and quite frankly as long as this person checks out as safe SS will not be interested, neither will they get involved re your parenting. However if the children are subject to court orders and are on the child protection register then there may be regulations on where they stay and who they stay with. I would stick to uour guns and not be manipulated by this charmer. If he fails to honour his access arrangements and pay for his children he won't have much clout with SS anyway.

More of a responsible adult in attendance than a babysitter. Absolutely the right move given the ages of the young teenagers.

😂

OMG OP, I cant believe you're leaving your 3 toddlers in the care of a dogsitter you found on facebook while you trot off to Benidorm with a guy you've been dating for 3 days! Purely selfish behaviour.

(In all seriousness, hope you and your vagina have a great time!)

We all do after this thread
in my opinion teaching children that adults can adult, that the world does not revolve around them, is really important
too many entitled adult babies around

My teens would just go and stay with friends for a week. I can’t fathom their faces if o told them that I’d arranged for a DBS checked nanny to live with them for a week!

actually seen just private. Mine too and it offers flexi boarding…. Not an option presumably at your kids school?

I’ve done this with my abusive ex. There is a BIG reward because it used to make me horribly anxious so now the more horrific his behaviour, the bigger the reward I get.

I'd call it 'holding the fort'.
I wouldn't relax if I left 3 teenagers at home while I was on holiday.

When I was a teen of 14 and my sisters were 15 and 16 ,back in the 70s, we were left alone while on holiday on the Med while my father went on a business trip for two weeks to London.
We survived it in spite of horrendous sun burns, my sisters waltzing out every night to go racing about on the local lads’ mopeds and I rather dramatically had appendicitis and had to get a taxi to hospital to have it removed.
I think these three lads in their own home with a responsible adult living in, and going about their normal daily activities will be absolutely fine.
Have a lovely holiday OP and please don’t give your arse of an ex any rent free space in your head at all, not for a single minute.

So not to social care but rather got this solicitor to write to you?

He’s also started making what I consider to be vexatious complaints to social care, about whether I’m feeding them junk or home cooked food, why they get the bus to school (2 miles) instead of me driving them, why I redecorated one of the kids’ rooms as a surprise

Pretty please share details of who you booked through OP. Your holiday sounds amazing.

You need a holiday OP 😂