Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

Jumping on the bandwagon of idiotic things older teens do when left home alone, on one occasion mine upset a tin of dark blue paint in the garage, got it all over the garage floor, the driveway, wheely bin and downstairs loo. Absolute nightmare!
Definitely a good idea to have another adult to stay. Because you just never know what they might do, even if they don’t have a wild party.

Re the sponge pudding left in a pan to boil dry and explode over your fence. (Aka rattle pudding) If you take the lid and the bottom off the can (without slicing your fingers off!) and push the pudding into a china bowl using a wooden spoon. You can put it in the microwave for a few minutes to cook. Actually does anyone know where you can buy those sponge puddings? Tesco seem to have stopped stocking them.

My ds managed to set porridge on fire i threw it outside and it set the grass on fire.....im not sure who needs the babysitter sometimes

Jesus Christ, these replies 😂

Cancel the cheque ffs

Edit: enjoy your holiday OP

What part of this sentence in the original post suggests the kids were ever going?

"rather than lose the fortune it cost to book this for me and my partner..."

Just been away for 2 weeks myself to spend time with family overseas. Had a marvellous time. Zero guilt! To the pearl clutchers no late teens were harmed due to this trip.

That the kids were never going on the holiday, to start with, and that OP believed they were due to be at their dads while she away.

We went away for four days when ours were 18 and 15. We rang every day and by the second day, DS wailed that DD was "a dictator" because she was telling him to do the washing up and keep the kitchen tidy! 😂

Deary me, OP. There are so many people replying on this post with a serious lack of comprehension.
you have answered all of their comments again and again and several of them still don’t understand .
I would quit while you are ahead if I were you. Enjoy your trip anyway .

The reason you’re getting a million posters thinking your kids were supposed to be going, was because you wrote an OP making it sound precisely as if they were. It basically said ‘I booked a holiday when I thought they were off school, now I realise they’re not I’ve got a sitter’. The question burning in many minds would be why would you go from not needing a sitter to needing one if they were never meant to be coming in the first place. You only explained that, in a way which no-one could have guessed, later.

I don’t agree with a lot of the flak you’re getting, but you did write a confusing OP and that’s on you.

While I’m here, I’ve read all your posts and there is no reference so I don’t think I’ve missed it: are any of your children taking GCSEs this year? That was my first thought when I saw their ages and your reference to half term, which would be bang around exam time. But I suppose they might be in years 10 and 12. Or you might be in Scotland. Really surprised it hasn’t already been covered but I can’t see it.

This! Add in you no longer view them as babies and see them as young adults, who are capable of going without mum for a week as they have their own independent lives as well. This is just a week and the house sitter/nanny is there as a safety net not a 'babysitter'. Explain that if their dad finds this inappropriate that is more about how he views them not the actual holiday.

They obviously know hence the Dad hearing there is a ‘stranger’ moving in for a week!

Can’t read your replies without trawling through everyone’s !
Easy to flick through and read OP’s though as you can scroll and look for the blue comments

He sounds just like my ex also an ex police officer! Complete control freak. I too am on a much better position than him. My ex decided to f off to Thailand and thought he had got away with everything. He knew criminal law but not civil law. I got the better deal in court. However he too avoided paying CSA. They just can't bare it when they are not in control. He used to phone my eldest son but always got around to slagging me off so my son just hung up on him. I am much further forward than you now. when my eldest so got married he was going to invite his dad at the behest of his wife to be. I simply told them if the ex was going then I wouldn't because I knew he would cause trouble especially if he got drink in him. My ex mother in law and her younger son were invited and that was fair enough. Apparently he came back home to the UK for the 1st time in about 20 years a week before the wedding and my son's only knew about it because their uncle had put it on facebook. He didn't even let them know and they were prepared to travel to the other end of the country to meet with him! They had visions of him just turning up at the church. It transpired he went back to Thailand before the wedding. His mother said he was disappointed at not being invited and he had said he would not have caused any trouble. The very fact that he said that means he would have! He is the one who is missing out on his beautiful granddaughter just because he is an arse and she adores my now husband as her granddad. My kids are no contact with him now and they they think he is an arse too! I would definitely leave your kids with a sitter and enjoy your holiday. He is just still trying to exert control over you. Don't let him!

no. My middle one is super sensible but also a big worrier
youngest one definitely likely to leave the hob on or similar as he is scatty
eldest would have had parties.
and they would wind each other up

My son is 16 and I rely on him to dogsit for me when I go away with work or whatever. He likes having me around to look after him but he's perfectly capable of looking after himself and not setting the house/himself on fire without an adult around. (Plus he's not the type to have parties when my back is turned as he hates mess). Getting someone in to keep an eye on three teens for a week is obviously completely reasonable. There are some real helicopter parents on here!

I don't agree with slagging off the ex to the kids - however justified - as it can backfire and create a wedge between you, but your ex really does sound like a massive bellend, OP. Your kids will no doubt come to realise this in time.

Right so the kids are all reasonably grown up.
They were all fine with this arrangement until Dad gaslit the situation…

Your kids are old enough now to be spoken to frankly….. tell them that you are not ‘abandoning’ them…. You are away for 1 week, of which they will be mostly at school, in their rooms gaming or sleeping anyway!!…
The ‘stranger’ is someone they’ve met lots of times before and she/he isn’t there to babysit them as they are all old enough to look after themselves…. However while they are almost adults you aren’t happy to give them the responsibility of looking after themselves, each other, and the house for a whole week, especially since 1 needs to be revising prior to exams starting….. THEREFORE you have employed a ‘HOUSE SITTER’ (not a babysitter) to just ensure the seemingly basic things happen - like doors being locked, cookers not being left on, plants watered, bins put out etc…
If you don’t trust them not to have parties tell them the house sitter is also there to ensure house rules are stuck to and leave a firm set of rules about for that week no one has friends round,
Tel them if they think they’re mature enough not to need someone looking over them then prove it…. This person is predominantly house sitting BUT if they are all mature then they can cook their own dinner rather than expecting this person to…. But will also need to be wiping down sides, washing up, drying up and putting away! The house sitter is there as a safety officer and rule enforcer only and not as their scivvy!

Be honest and tell them - while the original plan was that they’d be at their fathers, you’d miscalculated dates.. but that actually they’re all old enough to be left for a week, and old enough to just have a house sitter around and not need ‘babysitting’ or have to stay at a friends all week! Or grandparents (if you have them)…
You are semi trusting them to be responsible and the house sitter is there ‘just encase!!’ Tell them that!

Sell this to them as a good thing, a test run for them becoming independent adults in the VERY near future….

Say god knows what your dad has said but you’re not babies that can’t be left… you don’t NEED to be at his everytime I want a holiday

Make it so try t next time their dad brings it up they tell him they’re not babies and don’t need to be looked after by him everytime you take a break!!!

As for social services… they’ll likely be impressed you employed someone to keep an eye on the house and oversee things for a week… lots wouldn’t have bothered!! And the kids are welcome to arrange with a friend to stay at theirs that week.. unless of course dad thinks friends parents are also ‘strangers’

if all 3 end up arranging to be at friends all week though, I’d still arrange the house sitter just to ensure they don’t sneak back for a party!

Them poor neglected babes. I think this has the beginnings of a tragidrama WE musical.

You need to have a reread there.

They are 15, 16 & 17 ... social services will laugh him out the door. Go on holiday, enjoy ur break and ignore the twat