Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

I was left home alone for a week at 15 when my parents went away. It’s really none of his business anyway. Do the kids want to come and are already paid for? I’d take them all out of school for that tbh.

Sorry I couldn’t help but laugh at this. My parents went on holiday without me from me being 14 years old onwards - no one else in the house - and I lived independently from the age of 16!

Really?

Not a stranger. OP said this sitter has looked after them before so the family know her. Tbh how much minding will these children need? The eldest is virtually an adult and the other two aren't babies.
I think the children will probably get over it.
OP if your ex hates it that much he can look after the kids and pay for them to get to school why would you pay when you're not there? If he doesn't want to do that then he can shut up.

is this a package holiday? I only note the no changes, refunds, amendments and I have previously heard of people being ‘fined’ or penalised for not bringing the whole group.

They’d paid for two people but only one showed, or paid/booked for 5 and 3 actually attended. I’m not clear why exactly the hotel would be bothered, but it can cause issues with certain packages.

They're not young either. Frankly I think it's weird that the feel of this thread suggests much younger children.

They'll cope.

OP the ex can do what he wants. You don't have young kids and they are welcome to go to his house if they want while you're away. Keep the person you've hired in the house though.

Just ignore him, he won’t change. DH’s ex wife is still like this after many years. Mutual friends have said that the majority of her conversations and social media posts are about what an awful father DH is and how he is apparently a narcissist. (He’s far from either) The DC are adults and he has no contact with her now. She still hasn’t forgiven him for daring to leave her despite the fact he was more than reasonable in the divorce settlement. When we met he warned me that her dying words would be how much of a bastard he is. I thought perhaps she might move on in time but sadly I think his prediction might be correct!

My parents used to leave my brother and I at home age 15 and 17, for 3 or 4 days. We managed fine. 50 years ago kids were much more self sufficient and far less mollycoddled than today's youngsters

My ex rang ss/the kids school and started a smear campaign because I went on a night out

It was my 30th birthday night out with friends (I never had a night out) and the kids where at home,safe and sound with my sil (they where aged 11,10 and 8 and more than happy to eat crap,watch tv and have a late night with their aunt)

He wasnt offering to have them-he hadn't seen or paid for them for years by this point but I was the must awful mother for A-going out on my birthday and B-spending 'his' money on myself/booze

I just laughed so hard and told him to jog on

I'd tell yours the same-its all about control with these cunts and if you dont give it to them,they have zero power

I think your ex is BU for many reasons

But did you book the holiday just for yourself and your partner?

You got someone to stay in the house with a 17 year old? For a whole week? I don't think I'd impose a stranger on my kids for a week. I also wouldn't impose my kids on a stranger. How much did this babysitter cost? I have to be honest, if DH did this I would think he'd lost his mind. What responsibilities will the babysitter have? I find this bonkers, I can't lie.

How much are you paying? Surely that good deal isn't so good when you factor in childcare.

Unless your kids are inherently irresponsible and likely to burn the place down I would just leave them well stocked with food/supplies/money/emergency contacts and go! Do they really need a babysitter/nanny? I moved out when I was 17..??

However if you're doing it so your ex can't throw it in your face that you 'left the kids' I can see from that perspective. He sounds absolutely vile.

How did you get the school dates wrong? Why did you think that a young adult wouldn't want any input on decorating their room? You could have waited a year and had your holiday, they would be old enough to leave.
Your ex is a arsehole and can take emergency leave if so bothered. But it doesn't mean that he's wrong on every count.

I agree, very very few teenagers would be happy about being told they’re staying at home with a babysitter instead of going on a holiday that they were already told they were going on. I don’t think this is down to their dad this time. He does sound like an arse generally though.

Why not?

Theres one bad parent in this scenario and its not the OP.

Were you planning on taking the children with you? If not then what difference would it make if they were in school or not?

Tell your ex to fuck off. The "kids" are grown teenagers, they will survive.

So the whole argument is via the children?

It says in the bloody OP! “All relayed by DC3”

How did he even know about it if he has no contact with you at all?

Exactly! Like they’re goldfish…

They arent 5!!
If a teenager thinks OP should lose money rather than find a compromise then this is a great opportunity for that teenager to learn that sometimes these things happen and its good to make the best out of a situation... thats good parenting surely. If its an otherwise loving household a bit of disappointment will not traumatise them forever will it!

Wait a minute, you’re leaving your kids in the house with a stranger (yes, a DBS checked childminder but still a bloody stranger!) for an entire week?!?!? Your poor kids. They’re not pets

Well, that escalated quickly... Name calling is never a good look, @Neemon

Absolutely no changes? So how are you going to pretend you have three teens with you, when just two of you rock up?