Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

If your kids are 15, 16 and 17 and can't cope without their Mummy for a week then you've already failed so catastrophically as a parent that I hardly think it matters what sense you give them.

No but only because DD1 was in the kitchen at the time when DS2 was making himself a snack (he is my go-to Good Ideas Man!) and I heard "DONT PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE!!!!" so she saved me from that!

Melting cheese for cheese on toast in a wok because the grill was broken was another of his, burnt cheese does not a) smell nice and b) come off no matter how hard you scrub.

Can you imagine this one the other way around?

”Ex and I divorced and he’s now living with someone else. Anyway, recently the kids came back from his upset because he’d originally booked a holiday last year and then when he realised that he’d got the term dates wrong he told the kids that because he doesn’t want him and his GF to miss out they’re no longer coming but will be staying home with a nanny.

The eldest is 17, and they’re really upset.”

There is not a single person on this thread who would say he’s totally justified. They’d all be saying that as usual this is a case of a man putting his new gf ahead of his kids. Just like the OP is doing here.

So many kids end up having to take a back seat after divorce and when their parents move on to someone else who will give them the life they want.

The replies you’ve got here are ridiculous OP. As usual, the man gets off Scott free 🙄
If your kids are complaining about being left and telling you their dad’s opinion, reply “great! If that’s what dad thinks go and message him and ask if you can stay there. He will have to pay for taxis to and from school though.” Let him take some of the flack!

Some shocking replies here implying that wanting to go on your planned holiday for one week without your nearly grown kids is bad parenting! They have a father who won’t step up but sure you’re the bad parent for not sacrificing every tiny part of yourself.
I think if their dad cant / won’t have them then it makes sense to hire a responsible adult, it’s not like you’re leaving a toddler with a stranger for a month!

I don't doubt that he should be equally responsible but isn't, but the point is that your kids need to be supported through school as a top priority, and their needs don't disappear for the times he should be covering them but isn't. It's just a fact that most people feel hard done by by the extra work that divorce brings and it's just hard luck. Don't give them the sense that your new relationship is more important than them - they are kids and don't have a responsible father, that's tough enough.

I stayed home while parents went on holiday a couple of times around the ages of your children. No childminder, just siblings at home alone, all teens and oldest probably 17. Big difference is that we knew we were welcome on the holiday and asked to stay home because we all had other social / sport stuff on we didn’t want to miss. And I would have been annoyed to have a babysitter at that age! I can see why your kids might be unhappy with the arrangement. Sorry but I think you do need to cancel if the kids don’t like this plan, even if that’s being partly driven by arsehole ex.

Personally I would have used the mowny spend on the babysitter to change the dates of the holiday.
I wouldnt want a stranger staying for a week with my kids so I do understand why he is upset.

At least you know next time to book with cancellation cover. That would be cheaper than hiring a nanny for a week.

Booking a nanny to stay with your kids so you can have a cheap childfree holiday while they go to school is pretty shit parentinG.

And how degrading to a 17 year old that you’ve hired a nanny to look after them. And how long has this man been in their lives, the one you’re ditching them for for a week while they’re at school close to exam times esp the 16 YO?

The ex may well be an arse, But at their ages they’re old enough to be communicating with him themselves without your input.

Neither of you come across as shining examples here.

Wouldn’t the fine be cheaper than hiring a nanny ? Sounds like it’s a week leading up to holidays anyway so probably very little teaching happening

I do think it's poor that you value a cheaper holiday away from the kids more than supporting them whilst they are at school. That's not parenting.
The fact that the father is worse has nothing to do with it. In fact all the more important that one parent steps up all the time. You can argue the ins and outs of the balance of responsibility between you two (clearly skewed) but that's a different question.

I don’t think you were very clear in OP and it’s caused a lot of confusion. It sounded like you’d booked a family holiday, realised you’d accidentally booked it during term time and decided not to take your DC anymore. In actual fact you had booked a holiday expecting them to be at their dad’s but they’re not so you’ve booked a live-in nanny for the week.

I don’t think it’s an issue at all. I’d argue at their age they’re old enough to stay alone entirely tbh. I think at 17 I’d be pissed off if my mum hired me a babysitter…

What a twat he is. If he was that fussed he would just have the children.

16 and 17 year old really don’t need a babysitter though.

my husband and I left our three at very similar ages. Only 6 days but a very long way away. They argued with each other and were probably a bit wayward but nothing major. My nephew (in his 20’s) stayed for a couple of nights and a friend dropped by.
I think you should ignore your ex and speak to the kids adult to adult about what your ex is trying to do and what they really think should happen.