Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

Haven't rtft but I've read your responses. My parents went away on holiday when I was a young teenager and I spent the week being looked after by my auntie. Had a great time, and was really happy for them enjoying a holiday I had no interest in.
Your ex sounds like a dick and I hope you have a lovely holiday.

What a smug and spiteful post.

Isn't it just!
Even more amusing is when they're called out on their pitiful reading comprehension, they start backtracking with mealy-mouthed platitudes 🙄
OP, hope you have a great holiday.

Very surprised by the dramatics on this thead - you'd think your children were 2, 5 and 6. There must some seriously babyfied teenagers out there.

Back to your ex - you are giving him too much rent-free space in your head. Let go and enjoy your holiday.

Mumsnet is absolutely batshit at times.

Aside from the posters who can’t read and think your children were meant to be coming with you and you’ve just fucked them off so you can go with your partner, the nasty and frankly misogynistic bullshit some posters are spouting is unbelievable.

OP, go on holiday and have a wonderful time. Your ex is a twat and your teens will be absolutely fine for a week with a sitter.

Having seen your updates that they were never meant to be going with you I say fair enough.
Nothing wrong with a child free holiday, especially when they’re teenagers.
I did initially think that having a babysitter for teenagers is a little odd but to be fair if I’d have family staying with or at least frequently popping in on mine in the same circumstances so I can see why having a minder makes sense if you don’t have family that’s nearby or able to keep an eye.

If your conscience were clear, you wouldn't be posting would you? You just want people to clear your conscience and you sound a bit miffed they haven't all done that.

Don't engage. Thumbs up emoji, ignore, move on. Will enrage him even more vs responding and getting into it with him.

Thank god your kids are nearly grown up. He sounds like such a pissybaby crybaby bitch

She's not the ridiculous one!

Totally.

Not just reading comprehension, total lack of critical thinking skills, common sense, I could go on…

Clearly many here have never been a single parent doing 99.9% of the parenting! My ex also cant get over the fact I bought him out of "our" house. Enjoy your holiday. I bet the teens don't mind at all, mine wouldn't!

this would be a complete waste of time for Women’s Aid, 101 and indeed the OP. The XH is being a dick, but they won’t be able to do anything to help for kids of this age.

What?! Nope, adults need time together away from the dc. I’m not divorced/still with dh who is father of my teens. We’re going away next January just the two of us - twins have been skiing with school and dd1 has been to Italy in the autumn and Tenerife in July. They’re not deprived and we spend loads of family time together. The idea we should be glued to our teens is bonkers.

clearly, ideally dc would have been with their dad but that’s not the case so they will be fine for 7 days out of a whole year. I am pretty stunned so many have an issue with this.

Tell me you don't have a teenager :)

@Mostlywilliow
Bloody hell, OP. You've seem to have turned the arsehole magnet 🧲 up to 11 On this thread!

Of course it's OK to go away without your strapping teens! Of course it's fine to leave them with a DBS checked teensitter to monitor the Good Ideas and snuff out any hint of a party!

In a nutshell.

When my kids were about 12 and 9 I booked a babysitter (daughter of a family friend) to look after them for 2 days so I could go on a jolly (OK, a work conference, less fun than it sounds). But my ex, whilst a total arse, isn't controlling, just lazy.

When I went away for work for a couple of weeks (done this twice over the past 3 years), my parents came to babysit (cost of previous babysitter would have been prohibitive, parents like spending time with the kids, and whilst my parents are older, so are the kids, so it all works out).

Next time I go away for a night, my kids will be 16 and 13, and TBH, I'll ask them if they'll be OK alone, and only book someone if they say they won't - but I don't have any party worries (we live in the middle of no-where). By the time they're 17 and 14, I would expect them to be totally fine - maybe even for a week if I ramped up to it, and they had plenty of food in. That's basically an adult when it comes to the 17 year old. I stayed home at 14 and moved out at 17, so if trustworthy (and neighbours available for emergencies), not an issue.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you going away for a week and having a responsible adult just to keep an eye on things. All these people having a go are crackers.

I do recommend both JADE and Grayrocking. I keep communication to a minimum with mine, I don't Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain - although yours is going via the kids which does make that tricker - but I'd explain that you are following what the court ordered. Stick to that line. I don't bad-mouth my ex (sees them once or twice a month for a day), but they are both very realistic about his reliability and shortcomings, so I don't have to.

You don't care for people's opinions so I have no idea why you bothered asking.

Your time to do this type of holiday is when your children are adults. It's ridiculous that you can't see that.

Have you got teenagers??
Mine hasn't wanted to come on holiday with me since he was 15. And I let him stay at home all by himself 😱

I have mine all the time . I have one deceased and i miss her every day.. Look really calm down n enjoy your holiday.

Because they're 15, 16 and 17.
I stopped going on holiday with my parents when I was 15 because it was awful for everyone involved.

The kids are with you 24 7 ur the main parent for your peeps he's left the household and that's where he stays if he needs to know about the kids at any given point im.sure he will.know via a child 😉 lol he has nothing to do with your life now he's lost that part of the relationship ur not being unreasonable but I would start to make sure the kids know and he's knows what happens with your family now if about ur ways if he needs or wants to arrange anything that's down to him and give ur kids the responsibility now to have contact with him they will.soon learn your decisions lovely have a great holiday 😉