Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

Are you in the US?

You’re in the US @Mostlywilliow

Presumably if you’re talking about CSA

This is apparently disgusting, awful, I’m a terrible selfish parent, etc all relaid via DC3 direct from his dad.

He’s also started making what I consider to be vexatious complaints to social care, about whether I’m feeding them junk or home cooked food, why they get the bus to school (2 miles) instead of me driving them, why I redecorated one of the kids’ rooms as a surprise (which to be fair he hated), and now this. Apparently the kids are too young to be left with a “stranger” and are very upset and I should cancel.

why did your dc tell you?! And he’s started contacting social services about what your 15,16 and 17 year old eat?

This is true too. I was assuming this break was away from the exam period, eg that it’s beginning of Sept or something but sorry if I’ve missed something!

Edited - I can see now that this holiday clashes with a two week break - so not sure when that is!

Many people would leave the kids on their own at that age!

Your ex is clearly an absolute arse.

Edited as I hadn’t read all the many updates

The details WERE in the OP. What did you learn in the subsequent posts that changed your position?

Surprising that you didn’t check term dates! Not like they vary hugely from year to year!

How often do your kids see him?

I have booked a DBS nanny/babysitter who has minded them before, to move in for the week.

seems a touch OTT for this age group!

He sounds like the blueprint for a narcissistic prick.

You’ve covered all bases. Go on your holiday and enjoy yourselves. I’m saying this as a parent who hasn’t been away without my kids.

Your ex is an arsehole.

At any age I have no problem leaving them but this would depend on what else is going on in their lives at that time.

At 15 16 and 17 are they are school or college. I would expect at least one of them to be doing exams. When is the trip in relation to exams?

I would not leave my kids in the year 11 12 or 13 due to exam pressure. DD is in year 12 and actually has exams in May and June this year that go to her final grade.

Ummm... 82% think the OP is entirely reasonable.
There's apparently a very vocal 18% who think that no mother should ever have a separate identity from her teenagers.
That's pretty clear vindication for the OP

It's nuts the way people treat teenagers these days. They are not children and by that age should be perfectly able to look after themselves at home.
I suppose it's not allowed nowadays but at 14 I went with a friend the same age to Butlins for a week - just us. DH and 3 friends went on a package tour to Switzerland on their own at 14.
I can only assume that the OP doesn't trust them to be sensible.

Yep

All those questions are answered by reading the OP's posts.

Regardless of whether your ex is an arse, you booked a holiday for you and your partner without considering your 3 children? How could you not know when they'd be in school? What difference does it make if they're in school or not anyway?

@Mostlywilliow your ex is definitely an arse and so are some of the contributors to this thread!

I’m hoping I can give you some perspective that might be similar to how your children may see it. My father had minimal contact with me after my parents separated when I was 12 and there wouldn’t have been any suggestion of me staying in what was our old family home in this situation. He wouldn’t have looked in on me either. By the way he lived 10 mins down the road from where we’d moved to.

The age your children are I can guarantee they’re aware of the imbalance between what you do and what their Dad does.

So, it’s a school week for one thing. Most of the days you’ll be away they’re going to be at school/college anyway. The week will fly by.

What do they usually do on weekends? Sounds like marathon sessions on the PlayStation from one of your other posts. It’s by the by whether you’re there for that.

Your children are at an age where they’ll prefer doing their own thing. I bet they’ll have a great time while you’re away for the week, even if the babysitter is there.
I still remember the first time I stayed home and looked after the cat while Mum went on holiday for a fortnight - bloody loved the peace and quiet 😂!
Last family holiday I went on when I was 16 was hell. I wanted to do my own thing, felt like a spare wheel and after being told I was antisocial, I flipped and vowed to never go on a family holiday again.

Not surprised to read others have found when their children got to 15 they didn’t want to go on family holidays either, I think that’s the preference of most to be honest.

Is there any other family member or family friends that could keep an eye on your teenagers for you?

For what it's worth your ex is being a dick and you've done nothing wrong.

The 17 year old doesnt need a sitter. But lets look at the alternative.

OP goes and leave 17 year old in charge. 15 and 16 year olds decide its a Good Idea to have a party while mum is away....except that they wont say that they will say that will just have a few friends over. And then word gets out and suddenly the 17 year old is "in charge" of a mob of teens with no one to help or back her/him up as Daddy clearly couldnt care less and lets face it, would probably revel in anything negative happening to @Mostlywilliow 's home.

Even a best case scenario is going to end with vomit, broken stuff, something nicked and the place looking like a very localised tornado went through it. Worst case scenario involves far worse.

This isnt about "babysitting" a 17 year old, its about making sure that a 17 year old isnt left being responsible for younger siblings with Good Ideas. Also, @Mostlywilliow knows her kids best. She knows if the younger siblings are likely to work together and get on, or start kicking off and doing what they want because "Mum isnt here and you can't stop me!" far better than we do.

With age and hindsight, the eldest will probably thank OP for doing it, not condemn her.

Yup 🤣🤣🤣

They've not been 'left out' they don't want to go.

but even if they did, their mum wouldn't be unreasonable taking a holiday without them.

'Not a good look' 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️😂😂🙇🏻‍♀️

Honestly I’m not sure what I’m reading on this thread. Presumably the 17 year old will be closer to 18 if not 18 already by then… so old enough to drive, have a part time job, be going off to uni, join the armed forces, even be a parent themself but still needs a babysitter…

Just go on holiday. It sounds like it will be lovely. Unless I’m missing some special needs or behavioral problems with the “children” who are barely children then I’m not even sure why they need a nanny.

Some of the replies on here! 🤣 The 1950s called and it wants its attitudes back!

OP, you clearly didn't receive the rulebook when you had children. Page 2,375, Section 3.27, paragraph 4 says: "Once you have produced the progeny of the Man, you may never again leave the cave for longer than is necessary for work or errands, lest you be cast into Hell at the point of your death for your transgressions against the purity of Motherhood. There is a pit of boiling oil especially for those Mothers who holiday without progeny who have not yet journeyed to adulthood at midnight 18 years past their birth. So think on, ye vile sluts, ye."

🤣🤣🤣

Only if you read OP’s posts you will see that the children were never meant to be going in the holiday!