Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

No it wasn’t. Read the updates.

I don't agree with him but I do think you should have checked the dates and not booked until you'd made sure the kids could go too. Our school holidays are on the council website at least 18 months to 2 years in advance.

Either way, you don't leave your children.

Your kids are all nearly adults. My parents went to the US for two weeks and left my older sibling and me when I was fourteen, and he was seventeen. No drama at all. I can see why your kids don't want a nanny, but it's either that or have the 17-year-old step up and look after them all. Which would they prefer? Your ex's concerns shouldn't even feature in this. Complete non-starter. It's hardly like you're leaving toddlers.

I must be a really terrible parent because my kids walk to school. They prefer it to the bus. It absolutely doesn't hurt to teach them some independence at this age. Your ex is being a knob. And I absolutely agree that social services will laugh in his face if he considers your behaviour disgusting. He must have zero concept of some of the things that go on in parentally abusive homes.

If I was being left with a grandparent as a teen or someone, I'd be grumpy about it but to be left with a stranger who is DBS checked but could be an absolute psycho and just never showed it yet, would have terrified me.

but the holiday was booked with the kids originally?

I agree OP that these threads show how it is women more than anyone who knock other women down.

Bad parenting for taking a weeks holiday and not supporting your DC at school. 3 teens are perfectly capable of having a week without their parent.

Heaven forbid you enjoy yourself at all, you must be a martyr to your DC at all times. DH and I went away last year for 4 days, we left our 17 and 14 year olds home alone, they went to school and work, made their own meals, even looked after the cat. Obviously we are appalling parents for this. Just to note they did have a 22 year old brother checking in on them, and they are not the mad party type.

Edit to add, enjoy your holiday

DD (now 16, nearer 17) missed out on her school PGL trip due to lockdown. When things opened up again, we sent her - with her consent! - on a three day trip with them, one of the "Adventure Holiday" types, where you drop your child off and they leave their case in a dormitory where they'll be sharing with seven other complete strangers for their stay, and doing activities, all with kids they've not met.

Baptism of fire maybe, but when we picked her up she asked to go for longer next time. She did a few more week long trips of this type while DH and I stayed nearby, so if she'd really hated it or really misbehaved and been barred she could have come to stay with us. She never did. She relished in telling the tales of miscreants who were sent home in disgrace and banned for a year, though. 😅

These trips were in the Spring, while DD spent the summer holidays with us. I think they helped to foster independence in her, and as I've said, she's been more than happy to be left at home on her own since she was fifteen, and now has no wish whatsoever to come away with us. She had the house to herself for a week earlier this month, and will enjoy another ten days in July when DH and I go neglecting our poor unloved baby gallivanting off again.

Have a great holiday OP! Your ex is a twat. I've got one of those too.

Hurrah to finding a partner (5 years ago!) and what sounds like a wonderful holiday!
Hurrah to being sensible and booking a DBS adult who is known to the children!
Hurrah to buying out idiot ex
Hurrah to great parenting.

Booooo to people trying to shame you for daring to spend 7 days out of your children’s lives. Your eldest has been alive for approx 6200 days and you are taking 7 days away from him/her.

Booooo to idiot ex who doesn’t pay his way nor spend time with his children.

Have a wonderful, guilt free time away!

Well obviously you know best whether your younger two are responsible enough to be left with their adult sibling. From the sounds of it they aren’t, in which case yes, a babysitter of some description makes sense. I know you say they’ve had this nanny before but I’m not sure a hired nanny with no parental responsibility would really be able to prevent an out of hand teenage house party any more than the eldest could, so I hope he or she is someone they will listen to and respect enough not to start inviting people over.

But yes, ex is an arse. I think you have a right to go on holiday without “children” that age who probably would hate every second of it anyway. But I probably wouldn’t go if my children weren’t trustworthy enough to manage a week without house parties and burning the house down. But if your ex is so concerned he could always have them for the week instead. Doubt he would, so he can pipe down really.

These kids sounds quite close to him

OP I have only your posts - I like your style. Excellent responses to the judgypants brigade - I wonder how many of them have teenagers? Or how many have YOUR teenagers?

A good dad would jump at the chance of having the kids an extra week. If the shoe were on the other foot, and you were posting you only saw your kids EOW but the ex has demanded you have them for a week when he goes on holiday because he messed up the dates, and you said AIBU to refuse to look after my own children, what do we all imagine the response would be?

So much misogyny etc.

They have an adult they know in the house, puely to prevent Good Ideas (and worse, the Brilliant Plan) so that you have an actual home to come back to. Instead of your own pile of, well, ruin. The irony.

Have a great holiday!

Gawd he certainly is an arse. I hope things improve for you x

To whom has he reported concerns re junk food?

You say CSA

No one in the UK would use this term

My teen (17) would adore the sort of holiday you have planned!

In fact we’re planning to go interrailing (but Scandinavia) plus dc2 (will be 13 when we go) next year!

Arent teens/ young adults the main market for inter railing/ travelling holidays?