Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

Some of the attitudes to the Op are appalling!! Imagine being daft enough to think the 3 teenagers were going on the holiday in the first place! And to try and make her feel bad for not taking them, Jesus no wonder there is so many mollycoddled and entitled adults these days....

Ignore him totally, hes trying everything to destroy your happiness. Tell your kids you are going snd they are being babysit by the responsible adult you have chosen. Or they can go to stay with their father and he can explain why they are missing school. Your ex sounds crazy why do these stupid men think that social services have the time or the inclination to investigate his complains when he pays the minimum.he will get a reputation for malicious reporting. Don't let him ruin your happiness.

I feel your pain!

I came home after one night away to a whistling kettle with a huge hole in the bottom of it where it had been allowed to boil dry, and a very stinky kitchen.

The idiot formerly known as DS - aged around 16/17 and usually very sensible had forgotten all about it 🙄

You're fine. You've got this under control. Go and have a wonderful holiday.

As others have said, your ex would be laughed off the planet if he tried to complain to SS, and as for "good ideas", surely a list of "DON'TS" on the fridge door would have sufficed. It just baffles me that you don't think kids of that age are capable of being left alone for a week, when we've left our 16 year old home alone for that time with no drama, but hey, your shout. 🤷‍♀️

I cannot believe the amount of criticism and negativity you are getting here. They are three almost grown-up children. They will survive perfectly well for a week without you. They were not going on the holiday with you anyway it almost seems like a lot of women on here are jealous of your freedom, go and have a fantastic time. The children know the truth of it they might be moaning and groaning, but that’s what teenagers do. They know you are their number one parent. you are always there for them and you’re having a week away Ignore The miserable people on here that are trying to stick a jealous knife into you

Well said! Absolutely enjoy your teen free holiday.

A sitter for supervision is a good solution for an unexpected obstacle.
Your ex is a twat who sounds like he’s still
butt hurt that he has lost control of you. For what it’s worth, I think you seem fabulous. Your responses to the martyrs and those looking to find fault have had me
chuckling away this evening. I hope
you, your chap and your vagina have a wonderful holiday.

Your kids are old enough to be home alone tbh

Well @Mostlywilliow I think you have been exceedingly sensible... shame others have not read your posts. Your kids will be safe with a DBS checked sitter who knows them and they know her. School leave dates do change... I have been a governor in a borough which has a predominantly Moslem base, so calculating the dates of Eid is an art form...

I hope you have a marvellous holiday when the time comes and I am happy to share a G&T and snackage as we watch your ex disappear up his own fundament in the run up to your trip!

YANBU

Some of these replies are frankly fucking batshit and clearly from people with no experience of parenting teenagers

I’m pissing my pants at the batshit comments on this thread

I’ve done same got a babysitter in for my teens.

enjoy your break and ignore ex.

my go to, was my house my rules. Dads house his rules.

"received feedback to the degree it won't ever happen again" 😆

Would I be right to translate that as "the biggest bollocking of his life thus far"?!

It's a week. They'll be fine. I've worked with teens for most of my adult life and have 3 of my own of similar/slightly older ages (in a blended family so 2 arses of ex parents to account for - dh has full custody so we have all full time except when the exes can fit them into their oh so busy lives at random intervals). We have family holidays and days/nights out but we also have adult only mini breaks. You'll be stunned to hear that, amazingly, they have coped - despite what an inordinate number of people are saying and clutching pearls about! I'd have less sympathy if it were 3 small kids but I imagine you would be doing family centred holidays if they were that little (and probably have done!). Honestly, the parents that stay and step up really do get it from all angles!! A break and a bit of space means they get independence and you get relaxation and you'll all be that much happier for it. Plus you get to have fun sharing stories with each other when you're back. Maybe a little treat or two picked up on your travels for the kids. Win win. Plus you can have instant contact if needed. it's not as if you have to struggle to make contact. Not everyone on here is a puritanical, judgemental sod OP. Enjoy your break, ignore the parenting police, have an adventure, stay safe and make the most of it x

Bloody hell. This thread is bonkers.

I'd suggest to the kids that these are the options:

• They come on holiday with you and the boyfriend. You know this will not be a palatable option for them.

• Their dad takes all responsibility for them that week and they stay with dad the entire week with no access to home while you're away. They will know deep down this won't happen. Much as they love him they know he will poo poo the idea.

• They suck it up and stay home with the nice lady they know, and keep their routine and home space for the week.

They will likely agree you chose the best of the three choices for them.

Just ignore the ex. Grey rock any comments about it from the kids that they are repeating.

Countdown to the holiday and have a brilliant time!

The fact you didn’t read any of it all aside…I’m sure the reply you sent not about the situation (family holiday) and suggesting she do the thing she’s already done (get them some supervision) was super helpful.

I would have thought your teens would rather enjoy the idea of a week of semi-independence. This is your ex's work, stirring them up and of course they are susceptible to this because he is their dad. I would try to do a better job of selling it to them - take-outs every night, no limits on screen time, that sort of thing. Set a time everyday for FaceTime and I bet that won't last much past the first couple of days.

And go on your holiday and have a lovely time.

😢So you are looking at this from a different angle. But it really is ok to leave teenage kids to do their own thing and not have them tied to your apron strings.

My DH has been struggling with my 16 yr old DD not wanting to spend nearly so much time with us as when younger and now my 14 yr old DS is going the same way. I have to frequently remind him of his own teenage years. We were away for a long weekend during Easter and they wanted to come home a day early… so we let them!😱 The experience of the train and bus journey home and the time they looked after each other will be a story for them to share with their own children one day.

I just hope that the saying about ‘If you love someone set them free…’ means they will come back when they are ready. But I understand why you might see the OPs situation differently.

Don’t take any notice of comments like this. I remember being left at home ‘alone’ (aged 17) with my 16 year old sister. We were delighted as we really didn’t want to go away to Wales in a motorhome with Dad, stepmom and 7 yr old sibling. Neighbours popped in to make sure we were okay. My own DS refused to come away in caravan when he was 17, said he was too old. So I asked my mother to move in to keep eye on house (and him). When his 15 yr old sibling heard, they decided to stay at home as well as they always hated where we were going. After that, unless we were going somewhere they really liked (ie hot and sunny), they never came again! If ex weren’t such an AH, they could have children stay with them.

I feel for you. I have a similar ex who is vexacious and causes as much chaos as possible. if you had offered them to him for the week if it were my ex he would say yes then withdraw agreement at the last minute. Your kids are older teens not 5 year olds. What you cook is nothing to do with him. Your arrangements fo the nanny are nothing to do with him. Just ignore him and carry on. If he goes to childrens services let him. You have made safe arrangements. He can jog on. Just give factual only responses - no emotion at all. Grey rock. Facts, details, nothing more. It will enrage someone who wants to create emotional responsejust s but it protects you. Using AI is great for grey rocking any responses via email. Be aware that he may show emails to others - hence grey rock is also your protection.

Jesus - I would be telling the kids they can chose between finishing school a week early (and paying the fine) and going to their dads or cracking on and being the sensible beings you know they are who sometimes have to compromise. Am sure there is a sweetener that can improve the deal.

This is the thread that keeps on giving...

Fwiw the most batshit thing about it all is - imo - the spending of good money on a sitter for a 17, 16 and 15 year old! It's enough to make you weep! 😭