Well am I? My ex is an absolute arse.

That sounds amazing and your parenting sounds amazing. Neither sound quite as amazing as all the godforsaken martyrs on this thread who would never ever leave their teenage children for so much as 10 minutes and think you’re an abusive mum if you do, never mind the actually useless and actually abusive dad doing fuck all. Go away and cosset your milkfed permanent toddlers, all of you. You are guilty of looking at a screen while being a parent - be very ashamed. Next you’ll be booking your own holiday…

Ridiculous thread! The OP being criticised while the ex does FUCK ALL.

Enjoy your holiday, your teenagers will be obviously completely find

Thank you for the update OP, I’m so glad you had a fabulous time!

I also want to add that I too adore your writing style and have very much enjoyed your numerous responses to the many bat shit crazy comments inflicted on your post. In fact, I’m convinced if I met you in real life I’d instantly demand you be my BFF and take me on your next cruise.

i don’t know if the insane remarks or your witty rebuttals amused me more. However since we’re now besties I’m coming down on Team OP 😄

I loved your thread OP. I really enjoyed the ghastly people having a go at you and your responses.
Im pleased you had a great time on your hols. I wonder if you had considered working with teenagers professionally as you have great game. I loved the neighbours dropping in to check in the evenings.
And your ex is the most colossal twat, well done on leaving him all those years ago.

Sounds like you and your vagina had a wonderful time OP! I hope you us the money saved on this trip for the inevitable trauma counselling your DC will need after this abandonment 🙄honestly, this thread was fucking mad.

I'm a nanny and so many of you would have palpitations at how often I nanny whilst parents go on well deserved holidays leaving their literal babies behind...I'm currently laying on the sofa in the house of an old boss while they're sunning themselves in the last bit of Italian sun whilst I'm with their 2,6 and 10 year olds...who will be fine...never mind the OPs almost fucking adult children.

Honestly, some of you are fucking mental

That's fabulous news @Mostlywilliow So glad you had a good time and the kids survived very well, while you were away, by the sound of it!

Great result all round.
Well done.

I’m convinced the DC are all deeply traumatised and will need decades of therapy to come to terms with being abandoned.

🤣

Can I just say I love your style of writing? Are you a writer, you're very witty.

Glad it all went well.. Just read the full thread now..Cant believe some of the negative comments! and why dont people read the whole thread!!!

Thats fantastic OP. I'm so pleased. I'd love for the posters who think you're terrible to come back. I assume though that they still wont have read the details properly and think you abandoned your kids, deprived them.of a holiday to run off with a 'new man'. Brilliant idea on the visitors dropping in etc.

You should be doing the absolute bare minimum of communciation with your ex. He will not change and he enjoys causing you distress. The only way to get any revenge on him at all is to absolutely blank him, no response, no emotion, nothing. You should be using a parenting app to communicate with him if possible too, and then block him everywhere else.

And of course the kids will be fine.

Well I hope that is a lesson to you! To take your small children away with you next time, instead of leaving them at home and going away on the holiday you booked for them!

Seriously, glad you had a super time! And very well done on the whatsup group plan, I would never have thought of that!

Brilliant @Mostlywilliow !

Let me guess, your teenagers haven't been scarred for life while you were away for a week?

Respectfully this isn't true.
My daughter came home one day and told me her lovely classmate was very upset in the loo with another classmate.

Turns out her lovely wealthy professional father is a prick.
He's a bully and bullies his wife.
In a fit of annoyance at his wife, he picked up something and threw it at her, aimed poorly and his his 16 year old daughter in the side of her face.
He apologised immediately to her, and blamed his wife.

The classmate brought her straight to the Year Head, who involved the Principal and the Safeguarding Lead.

The year head called her mother, told her she would be reporting it to school safe guarding, social services and it would be reported to the police as the child had a mark to her face.

Her father was out of that house that evening.
His wife rang him and told him the school were taking her assault very seriously and social services and the police were now involved.

He moved out immediately.
Immediate separation and she filed for divorce.
He never returned home.
Nothing futher came from the police or social services as is often the case where money is involved, but he never returned home.

His lovely wife has said that awful as it was for her daughter, it ended the nightmare for her and the children.
He was a complete bully.
He was and will always be associated with this as the gossip was immense.

Dont tell him anything. Enjoy your holiday.

Yes, I hope she had a really nice time.

Your kids are almost adults, even the youngest is only 3 years away, it would have been preferable to have them stay with friends though.
I am surprised an earlybird discount was that profound TBH I have booked literally hundreds of holidays and it is rarely more than 20%.
Your ex sounds like a complete nightmare but usually in these cases there is quite a lot of blame on both sides- my parents were like this when they split up , but TBH they were both as bad as each other.

😀

I'd love an OP update on this. OP id you ever read this, I hope you had a brilliant time and did entirely the right thing.

A 16 year old could have left home. The others are also mature enough to be left, but maybe not mature enough to be left without supervision. No one is being harmed in this scenario except your Ex’s sense of entitlement.

I imagine having to hold your own against a coercive, batshit ex has helped you hold stead against all the bonkers replies on here.

OP it is unfortunate the dates didn't match.
It is unfortunate the kids aren't happy.

But enjoy your holiday anyway.

Teens gonna teen, they're rarely happy.

Realistically they have 3 choices:

• Nice adult housesitter staying for the week that they know (and that you know is dbs checked), while they can game in their rooms and continue their general day to day lives.

• All 3 come with you on a lovely historical walking holiday with trains. (I also have a gamer, he'd rather cut off his hands than attend this kind of holiday, even though he quite likes trains!).

• They stay at their dad's house for a week and he takes a week of holidays/parental leave/sick pay and does all the day to day stuff from his house while you are away. They may or may not like this option. Dad will definitely not! And won't agree to it.

Present these 3 options to them as young adults/teens. Then just hold tight against their and exes kicking off. 🙄

You could also formally log with ex (and the school safeguarding lead) that these options were presented to the children (and ex) and you would have been supportive of any of those choices the kids making.

Ignore any threats of safeguarding, vexatious reports, him winding the kids up, etc.

Yes. When he lost his bid for sole custody he essentially said that he was walking away and he would explain what a wonderful father he had been, how I had alienated him and was the root of all evil when they were ‘old enough to understand’. I refused to accept that for them and always encouraged them to call him as a minimum. They weren’t happy to spend time with him but they were okay with telephone contact and I never wanted them to feel that I had dropped them from knowing him … it suited him. Minimum effort. Moonpig online birthday cards. Bank transfer gifts and the excitement that he would one day be able to tell them how absolutely awful, crazy and vicious their Mother is. Luckily his new wife who has never met me was able to back him up and help him attempt to throw me under the bus 🙄