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AIBU?

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Original poster

I’m an affair baby

155 replies

wildgreyseas · 22/04/2026 12:56

I don’t know how to process this information.

My parents had always, always maintained that their marriages had ended long before my mum got pregnant.

Anthony this is technically true, it’s come to light that they were both still married when they started seeing each other. Both in very unhappy marriages that were all but over, but still legally married and not separated. My mum was in an abusive marriage, so I kind of view that a little less harshly, but I feel sick to my stomach to think of it. It’s awful. The hurt they caused, and I’m a physical representation of it. I can’t even look at them.

OP posts:
Blimms · 22/04/2026 13:04

Your reaction is a little disproportionate. It might be worth speaking to someone if it is affecting you to the point that you can’t even look at your own parents.

Bundleflower · 22/04/2026 13:04

You can’t look at your mum who, presumably at least 2 decades ago, was being abused and sought love in the arms of your dad? And by the sounds of it have been together since?
I think you’re exaggerating this to yourself.

Original poster
wildgreyseas · 22/04/2026 13:04

AttentionPlease · 22/04/2026 13:02

I think I'd be more concerned that my mother had been in an abusive marriage, and I'd probably be relieved I wasn't the child of that relationship, in which sex might not have been consensual or in any way pleasurable.

I am, of course, very relieved she got out. But I still feel horrified that my dad cheated.

OP posts:
AttentionPlease · 22/04/2026 13:02

I think I'd be more concerned that my mother had been in an abusive marriage, and I'd probably be relieved I wasn't the child of that relationship, in which sex might not have been consensual or in any way pleasurable.

FeliciaFancybottom · 22/04/2026 13:00

If the marriages were bad/abusive and practically over anyway, then I think I would judge things a little less harshly than if one partner had been completely blindsided by things ending.