No energy, like zero. No patience. Is this burnout or just perimenopause?

I have just celebrated 3 months of being patient and calm and happy after starting HRT in January.

It's worth looking into. I left it waaaay to long, and everyone around me and I suffered unnecessarily for years.

@dollydoops

most probably Peri Sister!
Do some blood test
take vitamins supplements from over the counter

and talk to your GP. For me all the above and anti depressants help. But you may start HRT. I cant have it.

good luck. This too shall pass ❤️

I’d strongly recommend a diet overhaul as this is what I did recently after a blood test showed not much wrong when I was struggling to get off the sofa.

I started with upping my oily fish intake after watching the BBC program just one thing called eating oily fish. Because of health reasons, I actually need more than the recommend three times a week so I’m aiming for five. I’ve noticed a massive changed in about a week. I also take vitamin D.

Scrambled egg on toast for breakfast or lunch is simple for me on a fairly high dense Granary type roll. Smoked salmon steaks with roasted Mediterranean vegetables is also very easy for dinner

The coil can provide the progesterone element if it's under 5 years old and you can add oestrogen. You don't need to have irregular periods to be in peri or to have HRT. I have a coil that is 7.5 years old and haven't had a period properly in 6 years but I'm on HRT at 45. It helps. It doesn't eradicate the issue though.

I am 45 and have a coil and haven't had a period in 7 years. The GP went on my symptoms and prescribed the spray and progesterone tablets (until I have my new coil fitted than I will stop them).

That’s extremely tough 💐

Is she starting to have sleepovers? That did make a difference for me.

To echo others OP, get a blood test.

I was exhausted but couldn't sleep, and had brain fog, insomnia, muscle twitching, couldn't concentrate, moody, anxious... Im already on HRT and couldn't understand what was going on. Turns out not only did I have low iron, but my B12 levels were really low too.

Lovely thread full of thoughtful advice. I was also going to suggest supplements and HRT patches. Round here lots of people cold water swim in reservoirs. Join a club for advice on where is safe i.e. not near the plug hole end! If you go to a lake /reservoir round here there is nearly always someone swimming in it. And if not just have a nice walk round. Hope you get your mojo back soon.

You might be depressed. It happens, and doesn’t have to mean chronic issues. Definitely worth seeing your GP if you think that could be the case. You don’t have to replace the doomscrolling with improving activities but can you find an unchallenging sitcom with lots of series that makes you laugh? Maybe try to phone a friend occasionally rather than WhatsApp - bit more connection?

I found it incredibly difficult to get any exercise when ds was younger, but if you can find any ways to do that, it’s the most effective thing imo. Even just walking regularly - at least the weather is better. Is there a sport you could both do - maybe parkrun on Saturdays followed by breakfast together? I used to do run/walk to do that.

You don't need a beach for cold water swimming, we're landlocked to fuck in Derbyshire, but over run with wild swimming spots!

Don't be too hard on yourself. The physical, mental and emotional toll of single parenting is non stop. Do you ever get a break?

Standards can slide and scrolling and slobbing are valid hobbies when your life is so busy and stressful.

I'm a cover supervisor of similar age, so classroom facing but far less admin. I come home to teenagers, so they're quietly having down time straight from school. I often end up having a 20-30 minute nap to reset my brain after all the social stimulation and decision making all day. It's a physically and mentally tiring job.
Years ago when I taught f/t and the DCs were young, I frequently used to fall asleep to In The Night Garden as they watched.

I'd investigate physical triggers first as they're simplest to tweak.

I start my day with a homemade smoothie that I add things like vitamin D drops to so there's added nutrients. I also tend to need a snack and big drink when I get home as I've had to manage water consumption all day, and it's hours since lunch.

This was me before being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. The paradoxical thing is bloods can be in the normal range but you can have subclinical thyroidism and still feel all the symptoms. I went to a good gynecologist and also my gp and and endocrinologist. Keep drilling them and don’t let them fob you off.

i wish you all the very best as it sounds really, really backbreaking. Keep going xx

It’s really hard to get enough D through diet. And in the UK the sun just isn’t strong enough Oct to March.

Being a full time teacher = hard.
Being a single parent = hard.
No wonder you are exhausted. I'm 0.6 which makes things more manageable. I bought some slow release iron tablets today, am hopeful they will alleviate some tiredness!

I’m a teacher (part time) 3 young kids, 38 and feeling exhausted…
I have recently started concentrating on the basics..
drinking more water, a guided meditation nightly and simple YouTube yoga 2/3 times a week. A run twice a week too.

my nervous system has been sooo sensitive. I am very snappy, no patience, I feel miserable.
Easter break with my own kids felt hard and going back to school now feels hard.
I really feel for you because I feel similar.
I am really trying to make good choices to make myself feel better. I owe it to my children. I can’t currently quit my job. I can’t change my life. So I am trying to find ways to help me cope.

Good luck. You sound like you are already doing an amazing job at keeping the plates spinning.

Definitely go and get a blood test! I was like this last year and felt so worn out and tired - ended up in A&e with sepsis, and really bad anaemia. I’d put it all down to teaching - the tiredness, lack of focus etc Another teacher I work with had blamed teaching and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. If you’re bloods are normal then it might be time to try the hrt !

Hmm if it was an underactive thyroid causing lack of energy your TSH would be high. Over 4 it'd be indicative of an underactive thyroid. So if you mean your TSH is low then it's probably not that. I suppose it could change in a year though you never know.

Maybe scrolling isn’t helping? It’s mind numbing, and eats into your evening. You pick up your phone and before you know it a full hour has gone and you’ve achieved nothing then pissed off because it’s late and you’ve ‘wasted’ your night. Maybe set 20 mins of ‘scrolling time’ to do chores before you sit down. I’m really trying hard to break the scrolling habits!

My iron and vit d affect me long before a blood test says they should. I'd try over the counter supplements (liquid iron less harsh on stomach) and see if that helps. Check diet as best you can.
Can your DD go to a friend or relative for a few days in school hols so you can get a break?

I'm nearer 60 than 50, also a teacher, kids grown, WFH partner. Suspect it's considerably easier.

Not sure whether you're primary or secondary, but if the latter then you need to be leaving school earlier. Are you 'doom scrolling' tasks at your desk, doing busy work when really it could be left? Not blaming you.

It's the bone tired, eh. What I would call 'listless'. A previous poster is right re: alcohol, knock that on the head and have some herbal tea to help sleep and so you feel more refreshed. Also right re: cold water swimming as it's shown to reset the fight / flight / freeze response - although easier said than done with a 6 y/o in tow. I take Floradix, iron and multi-vits. I don't think people understand the amount of stamina you need for teaching. I also take a good, high quality vit D in the winter.

Re: HRT, it's fine for them to replace your coil, give you a Mirena or something like and then have an oestrogen patch. You could try it. Didn't work for me (caused high BP) but does for many others.

You mentioned feeling worried about your mental health. You're not your mom. The way we think about ourselves and the world around us has changed considerably. Don't be too surprised, with a 6 y/o, if the current geo-political situation is having an impact though. We, as women, are far more able to articulate our feelings around this. Which brings me on to the next point, have you thought about contacting the Education Support advice line (24/7). It's not always a cry for help but maybe talking to someone who 'gets it' could be useful. They could help you think things through and potentially work out whether it's burnout, depression or peri / menopause and consider next steps.

You got this.