AIBU to think constant name-calling and shouting from DH is unacceptable?

Your post made me want to cry. It’s so, so wrong that you are being treated this way.

I honestly don't understand what's keeping you there. The house? There are other houses and they don't contain bullying wankers.

it’s domestic abuse. ExDP used to do exactly this. OP, talk to Women’s Aid. Maybe your GP too - mine was very kind and understanding.

Sorry I have no idea what you mean? I wasn't translating OP's post or suggesting any equivalence?

I wouldn't like this man (because he sounds like a bully) and it doesn't sound like he likes her (because he is bullying her) . So I was suggesting a choice needs to be made about whether they continue to live together.

@Thattimeagain88 I read your OP and by the time I finished, I realised I hate your H on your behalf!

What a complete tool. Horrid man. He’s putting his insecurities onto you - 8.5 m L or H washing machine and f**king up form filling. He’s the thicko.

Time to leave OP. You’re way too smart to stick with an a.hole your entire life.

Op you believe you don't have common sense because your husband puts you down so much... you need to plan to escape fro,m him.

Abusive men can't stand intelligent women so it's obvious to me that you are a very smart woman and your husband is an abusive twat who keeps calling you stupid because he's trying to lower your self esteem enough that you'll happily stay with him. Show him just how smart you are by leaving him the stupid twat

Please start to make plans to leave this man very soon for your children and for you

why not start now

im sure a few years ago you would not have asked this question but you are now starting to doubt yourself and it will become harder and harder to leave

you and your children deserve better and that is in your reach

He’s abusive, OP. There’s no way up from that.

Time for the bin 🗑️

I don’t get why you’re with this man, he’s vile and he literally hates you!

You could have the lowest IQ in the country, it doesn’t mean he gets to shout and scream at you.

Could he possibly be having an affair?

The amount of resentment he has for you is not normal and there must be something other than simply not liking you.

He and you by staying are setting a terrible example to your children. He is an awful man.

You need to stand up to this awful bully, and it's really important that your kids see you standing up to him, as otherwise they will learn that it's ok to just accept someone belittling you and verbally abusing you, which it isn't!

Next time he does it, glare at him and with a firm voice say "how DARE you speak to me like that. You either apologise or leave, as I will NOT be spoken to like that".

What the fuck?!

Agree and same. She probably is at least as successful if not more, or has more education or something else that is wounding his fragile little ego.

I also suspect that they’ve been together from a young age, possibly teenagers/since school. So they started the relationship so young that they were relative equals and she has since outpaced him, while he’s built up resentment and anger all the way.

You can leave him, OP. You are more than strong enough, even if it seems scary because you’ve been together for so long.

YANBU. He is being VVVVU. As you can afford to leave, it might be the best thing to do sooner rather than later. He's obviously awful and energy sucking. as well as negatively impacting your kids.. The thing that'll be most upsetting is the split childcare / impact on them. It sounds like you would be 50/50. I guess that's the clincher. Is it better to bring them up in a happier environment? Probably x

Blimey, you poor thing. He sounds horrible. I don’t know how you have put up with this treatment for so long. You must be so miserable. 😞

Life is too short to live like that. Are you just going to live your life like this forever?

I am so angry on your behalf. Please find your rage.

You are financially secure so why on earth are you with this pitiful specimen of a man?

Your children are going to grow up thinking that this is the correct way to speak to your spouse. Is that ok with you?

A partner is meant to enhance your life. This guy is making your life worthless

Bin him off.

Please, @Thattimeagain88 , if you can't find the strength to leave him for yourself, please, please, do it for your children. My sister and I grew up in a household where our dad verbally abused our mum, and us, all the time... thick, stupid, fat, smelly, useless... the list goes on. My mum still maintains she stayed with him for "us" and that he wasn't that bad and didn't verbally abuse us, really. She didn't, she stayed with him because it all seemed too overwhelming to go it alone and it was easier to pretend all was well. When he did eventually leave, life was a million times better, but I was a late teenager then, my sister a few years older, and the damage was done.

As an adult, I do understand, and I have some sympathy, but I really, really wish she had found the strength somehow. I'm doing okay, it made me stronger and rebel against him and I knew exactly what I didn't want in a man. My husband is the total opposite of my dad and has never even raised his voice to me, much less hurled abuse. My sister has not been so lucky and has very poor mental health due to the trauma of being put down, ridiculed and verbally abused and has married a man who is basically our dad. Breaks my heart.

If the only reason you’re staying is selling the house would be too upsetting for everyone, you need to split and start living your best life.
How dare he call you stupid and belittle you, time to go, your children will be soaking this behaviour in and either copying it in their future relationships or be anxious/low self esteem.
Threatening to go as though you would miss him/struggle without him, if help him
pack….
My DH only ever packed a bag once after a row, shortly after the arrival of our first child when I didn’t comment on it or beg him to stay and instead told him if he left he wouldn’t be coming back he never did it again.
Your DH sounds like a hideous person to live with.

Please leave this man. Get any evidence of his abuse you can contact womens aid ,do something. Leave this pig of a man ,for your children at least poor things

If it was happening to your DC (or anyone you care about) would you think it was ok? There's your answer.

He does it BECAUSE you're clever. A feeble little excuse for an adult like him is threatened by a smart woman. I thought as soon as I read it, "she earns the same as him or more". Pathetic.

If he can't measure AND write stuff down, he's the thick one.

@Thattimeagain88 it just sounds worse from your update.

But, thankfully, you are not in a bad situation financially and could possibly leave which is absolutely what I think you should do.

You sound quite worn down.

I would be making an appointment with a solicitor and filing for divorce.

This is horrific, and it is a terrible atmosphere to bring your children up in. They will lose all respect for you if you keep subjecting them to a situation where their father constantly tells them you are 'thick' - and imagine what it is modelling to them about the way relationships work.

So damaging. Please end this marriage, he won't change.

He is abusive and has zero respect for you, he certainly doesn't love or even like you. And that will never change.

I hope you are strong enough to get out of this relationship for yourself and your children.