AIBU to think constant name-calling and shouting from DH is unacceptable?

I had one of these. It took me ages to get there. But I can promise you, that first weekend in my downsized house, drinking coffee looking down my garden whilst my then 4 year old was asleep still, knowing that no one was ever going to call me stupid, fat or a cunt ever again was the most amazing feeling I've ever had. I remember telling my exH I wanted a divorce and him saying but I love you, and my response being, you don't even like me.
I'm 9 years down the line. I wouldn't change a single thing.

Does he treat his extended family/friends/colleagues this way? I'd bet not!

Perhaps record his rants and show them. He's choosing to be this way, it's not your fault.

I’m so sorry, this is abusive, luckily you are financially stable to leave. He is in turn also abusing your children. You and your children deserve a happy and peaceful life away from this. Lean on family and friends for support. Also contact women’s aid. Please take action before he destroys your children’s childhood any further xx

'he said it was my fault'

Abusers always tell you it's your fault in order to justify their abuse. My ex told me that I must enjoy it, because it was my fault for making him angry and if I didn't make him angry he wouldn't have to hit me.

Think about what you’re teaching your kids about relationships and marriage. Would you want this for them? I feel very sad for you and your children.

Why are you in a relationship with a man who demeans you and despises you?

Your Husband is teaching your children that this is an ok way to treat others! Is this how you want your children treated when they’re adults?

Why the heck are you still with this sorry excuse for a man? What attracted you to him in the first place?

The fact that your 11 year old now feels he has to tell his dad to be quiet when he’s trying to demean you should be the very last straw. End this today.

What a truly nasty piece of work. I doubt he has the capacity to change given the total lack of respect and anger issues so Id be looking to get out of the relationship as soon as possible....I say relationship, it sounds like you are just a verbal punching bag at this point!
When I think of my parents in similar situations (mother is dyslexic and also crap with numbers!) they would both be crying with laughter at cock ups and provide themselves with in jokes that lasted for years!

Well you are in a verbally abusive relationship. He is a cunt. What are you going to do now? My first port of call would be solicitor for some advice.

How soon can you get out of this marriage, it is damaging to your self esteem and you should not put up with him saying you're thick, that's shocking.

ETA I have thought about leaving and financially I could. I have a good job, earn about the same as him and would happily downsize if I had to although selling the house would be upsetting for all.

please think seriously about leaving and downsizing. It really won't be as upsetting as you think.

it will be liberating!

Asking whether you like each other isn't ascribing any actions to either person. You've misunderstood - hopefully I've explained it clearly now.

Did you think I was asking if either of them were likeable? Because that's different, and I wasn't asking that.

And you are with him because....??

This sounds like what my dad is like with my mum. :(

It was the “Do you either of you even like it each other” as an opening statement …….as if this is a 50/50 situation which it isn’t …DH is a nasty creature

It's not the same but my paternal grandparents constantly mocked my mum's intelligence in front me , as a child and my dad said nothing. We saw them frequently and they eventually turned nasty towards me too. Emotional abuse and bullying is awful for a child to witness and experience. You can do better and your children deserve to grow up without seeing their mum constantly torn down. I'd be leaving your partner and I say that as a single parent

You are fortunate because you can afford to leave him. And you definitely must because you deserve better than a man who talks to you with utter contempt.

Strongly believe you’ll be better off without him, OP. I know a move like that is always really hard but you’ve got this! Onwards to a better life

So sorry to read this. The good news is that you are financially secure which is a huge positive. You know in your heart that this is a turning point. You’re a smart, capable woman who’s ready for her next chapter without this useless creature. Best of luck as you break free. There will be plenty of support here for you.

I couldn’t live like this. He’s going to make you ill walking on egg shells like this, he’ll have a detrimental effect on your children. It takes tremendous courage, but it sounds like your life would improve 10 fold without this bully. Good luck.

I’m voted YABU purely for you staying with that dickhead. Do you want your children growing up listening to that??

spot on - leave this dreadful man

My word! Why are you living like this?

I think you need to show him how intelligent you are and divorce him. You are your DC should not put up with this hateful man!