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AIBU?

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Original poster

To stop GCSE son going out on a Tuesday school night

38 replies

Tuxedocatty · 21/04/2026 18:14

To tell my 15 year old son he can’t go out to an open mic night on a Tuesday night a few weeks before his GCSEs? He only does revision under the most extreme duress anyway and to be honest keeping him here just means he’ll spend an hour going through the motions and sulking. But apart from anything it’s the principle. Apparently I’m the worst parent ever.

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Hoomongoose · 22/04/2026 07:17

Themumsonthebus · 21/04/2026 22:46

Well his parents can either become tyrannical bullies or use this as a carrot to induce him to revise

My cousin's had parents like yours (also Asian) and they have all cut them out of their lives as adults.

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They aren't bullies at all. I ain't cutting mine out. Definitely needed a kick up the backside.

Littletreefrog · 22/04/2026 06:58

My DS is also taking GCSEs this year and YABU. One night of enforced revision when he would rather be doing something else is not going to be beneficial in the slightest.

PersonalJaysus · 22/04/2026 06:55

Let him out! Don’t know about you but we have two months from now before exams are finished - you need to let him out

Imaginingdragonsagain · 21/04/2026 22:56

My ds is still doing a lot of sport. They need to do something as well as revise!

ShetlandishMum · 21/04/2026 22:53

It wont make any difference to stay in.

dicentra365 · 21/04/2026 22:50

I also have a 15 yo dd about to do GCSEs. I think I would use it as a negotiation ploy. I would swap it in exchange for some revision supervised by me/with me. I think revision can be really hard to get motivated for so would try to do some with him.

Themumsonthebus · 21/04/2026 22:46

OhWise1 · 21/04/2026 22:16

🙄

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A wise and valuable contribution to the discussion

Themumsonthebus · 21/04/2026 22:46

Hoomongoose · 21/04/2026 22:25

He's not someone revising a lot who wants to take one night off. He's a chronic "can't be arsed" and wants to have another jolly.

My parents (Asian, yes) put fear of god in me to revise. I knew I had to get good grades and failure wasn't tolerated.

Show quote history

Well his parents can either become tyrannical bullies or use this as a carrot to induce him to revise

My cousin's had parents like yours (also Asian) and they have all cut them out of their lives as adults.

Hoomongoose · 21/04/2026 22:25

OhWise1 · 21/04/2026 22:16

🙄

Show quote history

He's not someone revising a lot who wants to take one night off. He's a chronic "can't be arsed" and wants to have another jolly.

My parents (Asian, yes) put fear of god in me to revise. I knew I had to get good grades and failure wasn't tolerated.

OhWise1 · 21/04/2026 22:16

Themumsonthebus · 21/04/2026 18:23

I've always said that the reason I did so well in exams was because I never stopped socialising and doing my sports and hobbies. It doesn't do our mental health any good to cancel life entirely for months on end.

🙄

Cyberjammies · 21/04/2026 22:14

Themumsonthebus · 21/04/2026 18:23

I've always said that the reason I did so well in exams was because I never stopped socialising and doing my sports and hobbies. It doesn't do our mental health any good to cancel life entirely for months on end.

Exactly that!! Same as me…. If I had been made to stop going out with friends or my sport or anything, I know for a fact I would have pushed back and probably actively done less 🙈

Hoomongoose · 21/04/2026 22:12

Of course YANBU. I'm about 9 years older than your DS (GCSEs 2017). He needs to study. He can go to all the open mic nights in the summer once exams are done.

And if he's already a chronic non-reviser this is just enabling him. Does he really want to get 4s and 5s?

cheddercherry · 21/04/2026 22:09

I don’t think one night will
make or break his results either way, especially so close to the exams and everyone needs downtime and balance. Of course I’d be encouraging him to revise around his social plans too but you can lock him in the house and it still wouldn’t mean he’ll absorb anything if he’s wishing he was elsewhere.

titchy · 21/04/2026 22:00

Surely you present this as the carrot? Four hours of revision over the weekend, showing you his notes/mind maps/whatever and he can go. Fail to revise - can’t go.

herbalteabag · 21/04/2026 21:59

I would let him go, they need down time too. It's a stressful time as it is.

mamaduckbone · 21/04/2026 21:58

Let him go. GCSEs are incredibly intense and seem to go on forever. He needs to cut loose (but also agree to make up revision time elsewhere in the week)

SteveTheHair · 21/04/2026 21:56

Let him go. There’s more to life than exams (especially a few weeks before!)

MoveDownMoveDown · 21/04/2026 21:53

@Tuxedocatty it really just depends on how ready you think he is to sit his exams or how much effort he has put into revising.

If he’s been a lazy-bones so far then no he shouldn’t get to go out, he needs to see that you value education and expect him to put the effort in to get the best grades he can get.

If however he has really knuckled-down (either at school by attending the revision classes available and at home putting the recommended hours in), he’s shown to be taking them seriously, then a night-out is deserved and will do him good.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 21/04/2026 19:53

I don’t see the issue, especially given you just want to stop him for the ‘principle’ of it

TeenLifeMum · 21/04/2026 19:09

I’d say yes with caveats - you can go but need to do 2 hours revision before you go (obviously too late now).

ThisJoyousMaker · 21/04/2026 18:51

You need to strike a balance. Keeping up extracurricular activity can help youngsters keep exams in perspective. I can well remember getting so agitated and practically burnt out because I wasn't allowed to fo my usual activities in the lead up to exams. Frankly he's not going to learn much tonight if he's upset with your decision.

BananaPeels · 21/04/2026 18:50

i’d use it as a negotiation tactic that he has to knuckle down on the other nights. If he doesn’t he has broken the agreement and can’t go out again.

my kids revised during the day but really stopped at 5pm so we’re often out most nights doing sport.

EasternStandard · 21/04/2026 18:47

What’s the point if he stays home and doesn’t do much revision? Let him go.

TheCurious0range · 21/04/2026 18:43

Surely there's a deal to be had, a decent hour of revision before he goes and then off to enjoy himself. I never really understood huge amounts of revision, you either understand it or you don't. Revision should be to refresh, and there's only so much of that you can do

Rituelec · 21/04/2026 18:41

Yabu