Friend said my home, furniture and clothes are UGLY AND POOR

Block, block, block. (But say your piece about her behaviour first!) I'm not always a proponent of blocking, but this kind of person is what blocking was invented for, imo anyway. She sounds absolutely vile.

I used to know someone like this, she'd be horribly insulting and then if called out on anything it'd be the big eyes and the 'What?! But it's truuuue! I was only being honest! You wouldn't want me to lie, would you?!' And these people never change, because they're in orbit around their own egos and will never accept they're doing anything wrong. (And re those on here who are totally missing the point by saying it sounds like she was just being honest, I can't help wondering if they're cut from similar cloth tbh.)

You're not pathetic, OP - ime sometimes the sheer nerve of people can be so great that it puts you on the back foot and leaves you unsure how to react - but you don't need someone like this in your life.

She's rude af. But it was really strange of you to let her sit in your house for a full 7 hours when she didn't even bring the documents with her that was the reason she was coming over in the first place.

No friend acts like she did, but you need some boundaries.

Smarten up your house and clothes. End of.

Cheeky bastard.

Tell her you like your home and you like your own style of clothes and if she doesn't like that then she can take a flying fuck to herself. 🤬. Some pal eh!!

It is a special kind of rude isn't it?

Most of my furniture is old because I like old things and prefer not to buy new unless I absolutely need to. Same with clothes, I love charity shops and the kids have mostly hand-me-downs. We have plenty of money, we just prefer to spend it on less material things. If a friend ever commented on it, I'd tell them I'm proud not to be consumerist. And I'd stop considering them my friend tbh.

Gosh, some friend! I would be giving her a verrrry wide berth from now on @Yourgurlmaddie Please don't take it to heart, she is very likely jealous of you. That's usually what's behind someone being nasty and cruel to someone about something.

OR she may be going through a bad/rough time right now, and is feeling shit, and lashing out/wanting to make others feel as crap as she does.

I'm sorry you feel hurt.

That is really offensive!

I still think it's rude to criticise someone's home unless they've asked for advice

I can't even manage people I like for more than 3 hrs. A person that invites themselves over for 8 hours and also insults you? No way. Find your voice OP. The situation in it's entirety is strange and shd not have happened.

She is awful.

1. She is self centred.
2. Judges on appearances.
3. Lacks decency
4. Has no interpersonal skills
5. Is mean and nasty
6. She is selfish
7. Drains your energy

Its up to you OP, I would have told her to get out and get lost.

Don't take what she says to heart - she is a nasty piece of work with no boundaries.....too much time around her will not do you any good, she is a better enemy than a friend.

You are a big grown lady ,
act like one op.
So you entertained her like a numpty for 8 hours?? Who does that. This is a you issue. If you behave like this people will treat you anyhow.
A very clear, I need to get stuff done now so I’ll see you out. It’s your house, you are in charge. She sounds like a horrible person. Aren’t you angry with her for disrespecting you like this?? And you still won’t even let her know how horrid she was to you

Bin

He spent 8 hours in the bedroom while you entertained her?! What was he doing up there for all that time?? It was pretty rude of him to leave you entertaining her, I’d have been pretty pissed off of my husband did that. He’s the one with a working relationship with her so he should have been the one to ask her to leave.

It sounds as though you could do with either therapy or doing some work on yourself OP. This 'friend' is not a friend and most people would have waved her goodbye long before she got to the 'I'll just hang out with you' because that is extraordinarily rude and all I can think is that you are struggling with social cues and allowing people to treat you poorly.

No judgement from me, I've done it myself, but it will be good for you going forward to have some help with learning how to deal with awkward social positions like this.

It WAS rude but sounds like she was being honest or why would she say it x
My mum is simular, has loads of money but her house decir, furniture, clothes ..etc is decades old. She doesnt tend to realise it until I give some little hints sometimes!

Don't worry about being rude to a rude person, they completely deserve it.
The reason people are so scared to say something that might be considered rude is because they don't like the feeling it brings up.
You need to learn how to sit with the discomfort of that feeling. Its difficult but its better than feeling like a pushover!

Not a friend an annoying, rude , imposition.

There are people like this, unfortunately. They will not understand what they have done wrong or why they have no friends.

Have a few strategies lined up for anyone overstaying their welcome. Let them know that you have plans at a certain time. Or offer a final cup of tea. Most people understand these cues.

I believe you OP, how lucky are these posters to have never encountered a rude CF posing as a friend!

Perhaps you should respond and say “your honesty is only your perspective and doesn’t actually count as a fact. I personally would never be so rude to a friend and say these thoughts out loud, but you do you.”

The next move will be her mocking you for making a scene but you need to go a bit quiet on her to make her realise that you’re not to be disrespected. These type of people drop these comments to see how much you’re willing to take from them. You need to nip it in the bud!

And he stayed out of the room for 8 hours while you say and entertained her? What happened when you cooked/ate dinner with your husband? Did she eat too?

Block her. Don’t bother responding to her. She’s not your friend and she doesn’t have work for your DH.

she’s found you to be compliant and easy to manipulate so she’s planning to use you to shit on. Just step away. She’s not worth your time.

You mean ex-friend right? 🙄