Friend said my home, furniture and clothes are UGLY AND POOR

She's not a friend.

Ha, what a rude snob she is!
If she’d ever been to a grand hereditary pile, the private areas actually lived in rather than the grand rooms the public are allowed to shuffle around, she’d know that they have tatty furniture, wear tatty clothes, and probably drive a tatty car. It’s not about money, some of the poshest rich people you could meet look like they’ve just been dragged out of a hedge. Never judge a book by its cover.
Your ‘friend’ is shallow, gauche and insecure, don’t let it rub off on you.

Just tell her “you’re a rude bitch.” And block her.

And? This idea of conspicuous consumption and binning things because they are unfashionable or just old is killing the planet. I would far more judge people who slavishly follow the latest instagram fads and change their decor every 6 months.

She ain’t no friend. Pull back and let that ‘friendship’ wither if you’re being kind.

if not, tell her where to go.

TBH at that point the impudence would start to embolden me. Fight fire with fire.

Same here. Apart from my sofas and my bed, I don't think any of my furniture was bought new (one of my bookcases might be, but if it was, it was bought new at least 40 years ago, so it's old now!).

I bet OP's house is full of interesting old stuff, which imo is far nicer than something that looks like one of the room settings in Furniture Village. And far more sustainable.

Your "friend" sounds really unpleasant, OP.

What a wanker.

My parents are now both long gone, but Dad had a friend whose wife was loud and bossy to the extent that the wife's sister actually confessed to me that she found her loud and overbearing. She told me that she particularly disliked the way her sister bullied her BIL.

Mum tolerated the friend's wife for years, for Dad's sake.

Dad died first and Mum eventually moved in with us - she had developed dementia.

Mum was like me in many ways - put up with a lot and bit her tongue.

Dh and I went on holiday for 10 days, and Mum was in respite.

I got home to an angry phone call from the friend's wife. They'd gone to visit Mum in the care home. For an entire hour, Mum spoke not one word to them...

Finally, the wife had said "Well 'Anne', shall we come and see you again?"

Apparently, Mum had replied "Have I got an option?"

A friend and her husband were looking at houses in my area once and they called in for a coffee between viewings. The husband proceeded to list all the reasons why he wouldn’t consider buying our house! It wasn’t for sale! We were so shocked that we weren’t as abrupt as we should have been however my husband did say, “Well we mustn’t keep you” in a very no nonsense fashion and took his mug out of his hand! Some people are just rude, just swerve her for ever if you can’t bear to do it face to face.

Hah, she sounds like one the "just telling it like it is" "like me or lump it" "im dead blunt me" which is usually code for thick gobby and irritating.
I wouldnt bother with her personally, but you could always inform her that you prefer worn furniture and shabby clothing to human tat if you wanted to "tell the truth" xoxo

Oh, f*ck. We have the same friend.

I would bet there's nothing wrong with the OP's home and she's just a bitch

Ergh. The thing is, people like this for not take polite hints/ requests. And if you are firm, they play the victim.

They rely on othe people not being total dicks.

I didn't realise that you had CCTV installed in all of our homes. Or are you the "friend"?

She’s what we in NI call ‘very pass remarkable’ and it’s definitely not a compliment. I have met many people like her over the years, who are ‘just saying’ or ‘telling it like it is’. Usually because they think their opinion is so important, you’re lucky to hear it. And the very same people are often the ones who burst into tears when anyone says similar to them. I feel for you because I’m socially awkward too and end up letting people walk all over me because I’m not great at being diplomatic, so I say nothing rather than offend. I grew up in a house with second hand furniture and older stuff because my parents were very much of the ‘make do and mend’ mentality. But it was clean and we were cared for and my friends loved coming round because there was a relaxed atmosphere. Sadly, when I got into my mid to late teens, I learned what people could be like about stuff like that. Just be grateful you’re not like your ‘friend’

Why would she say it?

Because she's an arse?

How do you know her? She is not a friend and won’t be anyone’s friend at this rate. I would just block her and not bother saying anything to her, someone else will say it for you. Instead practise saying no and come up with some phrases for when you want people to leave

I have a friend like this. I'm currently trying to distance myself. She's never seen inside my home and I'm avoiding it like the plague.

Shan't derail the thread, but - by her own admission - she's lost several "good" friends. One of them died before lockdown. She was a former colleague and we both attended the funeral.

To my shock, a while back my friend told me that she'd gone round to the colleague's house after she died to look in the window. (Why??? No, I didn't ask at the time, was still reeling from a bereavement at the time.)

She then criticised everything that she saw. God knows what she'd think of my place. (I have seen inside hers, and it's not to my taste, but I wouldn't dream of criticising.)

I've realised that she's very often critical.* I've not broken things off for good, but I'm tailing them off.

*Example. Told me that I should stop going to a certain exercise class in the gym only 10 minutes away from me. It's included in my membership.

Instead, I should go the same class that she attends "only £7 [instead of nothing?]" and - according to her - superior. This other class is 20 miles away from me.

I need to grow a backbone, but she was kind to me when my husband died. However, she sometimes gets a bit shouty and I've realised that I can't stand it.

Your friend sounds similar, @OP.

Even if she was, she should have kept her mouth shut.

This isn't a friend and (although this would never happen to me) I would never speak to her again

I'd probably find that awkward to be quite that candid too. I'd be more likely to think up a reason - "really sorry, but we need to collect dc/take cat to vet, go and get groceries" etc, but I accept that was harder when she knew DH was housebound.

Ultimately though, why do you care? You know, and I know, she's rude and weird.

Even if you do have tacky stuff, what kind of incontinent brain flatulence causes someone to say it? There is a worrying trend these days to justify outright rudeness by elevating it to "Honesty" with a capital H. Different if you had asked for an opinion.

There was no need for her to say it - and she knows it too, as she gave her non-apology apology.

Some people are just dicks: move on and don't worry about her.

@Yourgurlmaddie
Reply to her.
Say what she said is offensive and rude.
And no you don't accept her as a friend.
Chapter closed.

Even if she is, it wasn't nice to say that. Not everyone can keep up with the current "trends". And some people prefer an older, cozy look. Who cares? A nice house to me is one that is clean and well take care of, even if the furnishings are outdated.