Friend said my home, furniture and clothes are UGLY AND POOR

In fairness, on point 2, it is likely your friend could’ve been pro-Putin as being a Ukrainian doesn’t mean you’re not pro-Russia / Putin. Quite the opposite for a lot of Ukrainians.

I wouldn’t normally agree with saying something like this but I did laugh 😂😂😂

OP, I’d tell her she’s an awful, rude person who needs to learn some social skills and consider your ‘friendship’ over because you don’t exist for her to have digs at to make herself feel better. End with a parting remark like ‘oh, by the way, I’d consider upgrading your anti wrinkle cream, yours is doing you no favours. I’m only being honest 😉’

Well she’s not a friend and I’m intrigued whether she actually does have work for your DH that she’s willing to pay for.

that said years ago I went to a new friends house and it was barren: the stairs were bare, nothing on the walls, no rugs/lamps/ornaments and most bizarrely because she ran a blind company no blinds or curtains.

I almost asked if they’d just moved in. Thank god I didn’t because five mins later she said: “[a mutual friend] came round yesterday and asked me if we’d just moved in, I was so offended, does it look like we just moved in….”

What a cow, that’s not a friend in anyway. It’s none of her business what you and your family do

and you didn't ask for her opinion.

Why does it matter?
My dad was like this too. He couldn’t give a stuff about decor or fashion. He retired at 50 and lived frugally off his money. Travelled all over. Had a great 30 years until he died. But drove an old banger. I think he did right.

OP the correct response to your friend was “you’re being very rude, whether you think you’re a friend or not! You need to think a bit more carefully before you speak”.

What does it matter? She was rude!

Why would she think that telling someone their home, clothes and possessions were hideous and shabby would make her a 'good friend'?!

She sounds like a psycho.

Tell her you think her house, face, body, clothing, possessions, husband and children are all absolutely fucking minging. And that you're only being honest and what kind of a friend wouldn't want to do that?!

What did you say when she said all this to you?

Even if she was being honest, there was absolutely no reason for her to have brought up your house, decor or clothing.

If you had asked for her opinion that would be different, but even then she should be more tactful. What was the purpose of her telling you that other than to make you feel like shit or herself feel better?

There was no tangible need to tell you whatsoever. It has no effect on her what someone else’s house or clothes are like. She seems like she can’t conceive that others are different from herself with different priorities.

End the friendship, she’s an insecure, rude cow.

She is not your friend. She sounds absolutely bat shit crazy! Block her and restore your peace.

OP, surely you must realise that 'friends' are meant to be people whose company you enjoy and who are nice to be with and talk to?

This isn't a friend. She's a random woman you don't like who sits in your home like a cuckoo in the nest and is incredibly rude to you. What are you actually getting out of this 'friendship' other than grief and hassle? Tell her to fuck off!

Reminds me, I used to know a Danish woman who moved to the UK and married a British man, and she worked in the Black country. (Dudley/Wolverhampton) as a secretary. She said 'they do not know how to speak, they say ow am ya? (instead of how are you,) they are deeply stupid! How can you not know how to speak you OWN language?' I tried to explain that it was a regional dialect, (and they were NOT stupid) but she wouldn't have it! She also has some rancid opinions on single mothers and women who had children out of wedlock.

She was really judgy and rude and I don't know why. My cousin's husband's brother married a Danish woman, and she's lovely. Bright and bubby and friendly and kind, not a bad bone in her. So it was nothing to do with nationality. Plenty of British people are rude too of course.

.

LOLOLOL!!! DO this @Yourgurlmaddie 😆

She sounds like a strange one ...

Gosh, good for your husband! Sorry you had to hear this nasty shite.

I've been in homes where I've thought this type of thing. Needs a spruce up or all their taste is in their mouth etc.
But I don't SAY anything largely because I DONT CARE.
I'm there to see the person, not to critique their home. It's a passing thought at most. This is normal.
So she likes a beige floral. Or everything is grey or whatever it might be. So what? Unless the place is hoarded or filthy and full of rats it just doesn't matter.
Lots of people might not like MY home. Oh well. I don't care about this either.

Send her this message:

You are an ugly bitch. don’t get offended, I was just being honest, what kind of friend would I be not to tell you the truth xx

Is she the sort of person who thinks everything should be the latest fashion/matchy-matchy, and that e.g. kitchens should be replaced every 5 years?
In any case, she sounds unspeakably rude and I’d have no problem in telling her so. Or preferably, just deleting her from my life altogether.

I bet she didn’t say that to your DH when he was working for her!

What do travellers have to do with this?

She’s using you now as she’s exhausted her supply of friends.

Does your husband need this work? If not, I’d let her know how rude she was and that she’s no longer welcome at your house, then block her. If yes, then I think you still need to tell her that her comments were very hurtful and that she stayed far too long when you had family things to take care of, and for your relationship to continue you need to work on being more assertive and she must stop with the nasty comments.

She's no friend. Regardless of what she thinks of your house it's rude to say something like that. It's not the comments of a concerned friend. It's just mean.

But you really need to stand up for yourself. People like this don't care about offending you. Yet you don't want to offend her by telling her to go. it doesn't make sense.

When it was clear that she wasn't doing business with your DH, you say sorry, but I'm busy so you'll need to leave. You don't let her sit on your sofa for hours playing music and eating snacks. And you don't include her in your dinner plans. What she did was plain bad manners. You don't have to tiptoe around someone like this. They're too thick skinned. Be clear and firm.

You're a lot more polite up there in NI, down here we'd just call her a cheeky stuck up cunt. Our house growing up was always a bit worn looking, our clothes were clean but not expensive, furniture was pretty old and yet it was the house everyone felt welcome in, my parents fed everyone who needed it and lots who didn't. My uncles girlfriend once commented on the house needing to be redecorated and yet her children were never allowed have toys out, friends in or to look anything other than perfect, as adults they spent far more time with my parents than their own. Some people never learn to look beyond the obvious to see the warmth, love, affection etc

I hope you’re joking!