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Original poster

Dh getting up and walking off mid conversation

87 replies

Pizzaandpasta101 · 20/04/2026 18:27

I want to know if this is really rude or if I’m just being precious.

Dh has a habit of getting up and just walking off in the middle of a conversation.

So for example earlier today (but this happens on a regular basis), we were speaking about something that had happened with one of our dc at the weekend. It was only a short conversation for like 5 minutes, not like we’d been going on for hours. The conversation hadn’t reached a natural end and I was in the middle of saying something and dh just got up and walked off to do something else.

He does this all the time. It’s not even like he says “hold that thought I’m just going to do xxx”. He literally just walks off.

To be honest I didn’t marry him for his riveting conversation. He’s definitely a man of few words and he’s like that with everyone. He’s just not a talker. He takes several minutes to even respond half the time and he says he’s ‘thinking’.

But aibu to think it’s just plain rude?

OP posts:
TheAutumnCrow · 20/04/2026 20:27

To be honest I didn’t marry him for his riveting conversation.

Was he always like this, though, @Pizzaandpasta101? May I ask, why did you marry him?

shashbear · 20/04/2026 19:51

It sounds like he gets overwhelmed in conversations, giving him the benefit of the doubt, which could be a “spectrum” related issue maybe?. My partner says random non related things half way through a chat, which drives me insane. She looks baffled when I point it out. We are a same sex couple so not a man/woman thing. We are not being listened to ultimately which is beyond frustrating but it might be a bit more complicated than him just being an ignorant arse.

Zozoza · 20/04/2026 19:49

deserthighway · 20/04/2026 19:31

But are they doing it because they have ADHD, or because they are rude?

Show quote history

Person A does it because of their adhd
Person B is for both reasons 🤣

LizzieSiddal · 20/04/2026 19:41

Villanousvillans · 20/04/2026 19:26

If he walks off during an argument then it’s definitely stone walling. Overall your DH has very little respect for you. Next time he does it make a real fuss about it, so he’ll think twice about doing it again.

Not necessarily, can sometimes depend on upbringing. My dh used to walk out of the room during an argument as he grew up in a violent household and learnt as a child to get out of the way. It took a lot of therapy for him to learn a different way of dealing with arguments.

@Pizzaandpasta101 You said his dad is “weird” and likes the sound of his own voice. Is walking out of the room something he or his mum did as a child?

deserthighway · 20/04/2026 19:33

Endofyear · 20/04/2026 19:18

Hmm I'd be tempted to wait until he starts to tell you something and then walk off when he's mid sentence. You've told him it's rude and annoying, maybe it's time to show him?

Yes I'd do the same as this, give him a taste of his own medicine.

Also if it's something really important you want too say wait until dinner time or when he's a hostage in the car and can't get away 😀

deserthighway · 20/04/2026 19:31

Zozoza · 20/04/2026 19:24

The two people in my family who tend to get distracted or wander off when spoken to both have inattentive adhd. They are also often slow to respond verbally due to slow processing skills. It does come across as rude though.

Edited

But are they doing it because they have ADHD, or because they are rude?

dizzydizzydizzy · 20/04/2026 19:31

Well it certainly seems rude. But perhaps he doesn’t mean to be. He sounds like he could be shy or socially awkward. Could it be that he is very distractable? Or he it is a clumsy way of escaping from a conversation that be finds boring or awkward?

i do sometimes do this to a friend because she talks and talks and talks and it’s the only way to make her stop. I try not to though but sometimes nothing else works.

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 19:29

I bet you have never even see him do this with anyone else.

Kids?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 20/04/2026 19:27

Dh does this to me sometimes. Last time he did it and walked out of the room, I pressed play on whatever I had paused, then he came back and said he hadn't finished. I replied you left the room. It was like he hadn't actually considered that his action might have had an effect.

Villanousvillans · 20/04/2026 19:26

If he walks off during an argument then it’s definitely stone walling. Overall your DH has very little respect for you. Next time he does it make a real fuss about it, so he’ll think twice about doing it again.

Original poster
Pizzaandpasta101 · 20/04/2026 19:24

MyballsareSandy2015 · 20/04/2026 19:19

Rude.

My DH fell asleep the other day whilst i was talking to him. I was showing him a new move from my exercise class … ok not the most riveting convo but I looked up and his eyes were closed 🤣

Sorry I had to laugh. Dh is one for falling asleep loudly snoring then denying that he nodded off.

OP posts:
Zozoza · 20/04/2026 19:24

The two people in my family who tend to get distracted or wander off when spoken to both have inattentive adhd. They are also often slow to respond verbally due to slow processing skills. It does come across as rude though.

Original poster
Pizzaandpasta101 · 20/04/2026 19:23

WhatNextImScared · 20/04/2026 19:20

How do his parents or other family members communicate with one another?

Omg they are all so weird.

His dad loves the sound of his own voice and his mum is like dh, barely speaks.

OP posts:
WhatNextImScared · 20/04/2026 19:20

How do his parents or other family members communicate with one another?

MyballsareSandy2015 · 20/04/2026 19:19

Rude.

My DH fell asleep the other day whilst i was talking to him. I was showing him a new move from my exercise class … ok not the most riveting convo but I looked up and his eyes were closed 🤣

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 19:19

The problem is you have explicitly told him repeatedly that you find it rude and he ignores you. He clearly doesn’t give a fig what you think of him.

Original poster
Pizzaandpasta101 · 20/04/2026 19:18

To answer a few questions.

Yes he does do it if we have a disagreement, not that we argue particularly, but he is completely conflict adverse.

He does listen but sometimes he’s not listening though I think we can all be guilty of that at times.

Do I talk a lot? Depends on who you’re asking. Compared to dh, yes, but compared to most people I know I’m very quiet.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 20/04/2026 19:18

Hmm I'd be tempted to wait until he starts to tell you something and then walk off when he's mid sentence. You've told him it's rude and annoying, maybe it's time to show him?

ArachneArachne · 20/04/2026 19:18

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:48

It is the fact that his wife has repeatedly told him that she finds something rude and inconsiderate and he just ploughs on regardless indicates he doesn’t actually care what you think of him OR he is a bit thick.

And I am guessing he only does this with you?

Or lacks theory of mind, which is a bit concerning.

aloris · 20/04/2026 19:15

It's a bit dehumanising, isn't it? Like he's listening to a tv show, not a person. It doesn't matter if he just walks off in the middle of your sentence because whatever you were saying wasn't important, nor are you important as a person. Just talk to the air, it will care about you as much as he does.

I think the realistic outcome of this is that it would make you feel like what you have to say isn't welcome or wanted, like your personality is a bother to him.

deserthighway · 20/04/2026 19:00

Be honest OP, do you talk a lot?

EwwPeople · 20/04/2026 18:54

Does he still listen while he goes off? Does he come back to you? Or is that conversation done for him?

What would happen if you followed him and kept talking?

Villanousvillans · 20/04/2026 18:50

It’s beyond rude and It’s bordering on stone walling you. Does he do it if you have a disagreement?

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:48

It is the fact that his wife has repeatedly told him that she finds something rude and inconsiderate and he just ploughs on regardless indicates he doesn’t actually care what you think of him OR he is a bit thick.

And I am guessing he only does this with you?

RaininSummer · 20/04/2026 18:40

Is he actually listening and responding whilst he is there? I wonder if he is listening at all tbh.