Do you like being a parent?-honestly?

I have 3, I can honestly say I've loved it. I really have had a new purpose in life and I think it was the making of me.

One nearly through school, the other two are littler so get to do the teenage years again but I really wouldn't change any of it.

I would have liked more sleep as I rounded my 40s, I'll definitely admit that, but that's improved massively in the last couple of years and I feel like a new woman!

I loved reading your post , it made me hopeful , my youngest DD is five and has ASD. She’s a handful at the moment I’m tired of worrying about her . Its wonderful your son is doing so well . You sound like an amazing mom and great fun ❤️

Mine is 3, obviously love them but parenting? No, I don't enjoy it. It's nothing like I thought it would be. Constant demands, mess, noise, inconvenience, being asked ridiculous questions, waking up early every single morning when I have a delayed circadian rhythm so I'm hardly getting any sleep every night, everything's a battle, my free time is now precious gold dust, some days I actually feel mentally tortured by my child.

It's exhausting, draining, irritating, repetitive, intensely painfully dull, overstimulating constantly, overwhelming, boring to the extreme. I have no hobbies, wear shit clothes and generally look shit, and I feel over stimulated and on edge all day every day. The responsibility is absolutely massive and overwhelming.

I adore my 3 DC - they are the best people in my world and I wouldn’t be without them.

I don’t enjoy parenting though. The drudgery and endless stuff to do is beyond exhausting and I feel like I can’t cope a lot of the time.

Mine are adults and I still.love being their mum. I've enjoyed every stage and love the relationships I have with them. I still sometimes wish I'd had more kids and really hope there will be some grandchildren in the next few years.

I think everyone likes some stages and finds others difficult. I found the children hard work and little reward when they were babies. Loved them fiercely but they were, to be honest, quite boring. I found 7 was great age, still cute but old enough to have good fun with. I’m enjoying the teenage years too (which I know is very unusual)

The early years are hard but I’m in my 60s now and I can’t imagine how my life would be without my DC and DGC. I didn’t want children in my 20s & early 30s but my D(ex)H persuaded me and I had my first at 35. I’ll forever be grateful that he changed my mind . I went through 8 years as a single mum and they were some of the best (& hardest) times of my life. I’ve lived my life worrying about & for my DC but they’re amazing and being their Mum is the best thing I’ve ever done

I agree about secondary school, it's just not fit for purpose for so many kids. Mine enjoyed school but it was like the wild west, sink or swim - and they just about stayed afloat.

I also think the internet has a terrible influence.

Another row over dinner - I clearly didn't read the small print when I signed up for motherhood.

The 17 yo is a girl

My 12 yo is a boy and more tricky but it’s not because he’s a boy - he has ADHD and struggles at school, so I have to be more involved than I ever was with dd. And he has more friendship struggles.

But he’s lovely too!

I semi seriously wonder how people cope with twins. People obviously do because twins exist 😅 but … how??

7 should be a great age so I'm surprised you aren't enjoying it. I love being a parent, I couldn't imagine not being one. Yes it is tiring and lots to think about all the time but the rewards just outweigh the negatives 10 fold. The house is always far too quiet when the girls aren't here.

I think there’s been a big cognitive development – socially, more anxiety/fear of things, sense of fairness/justice, etc – but the ability to emotionally regulate these feelings and thoughts has not developed at the same pace. So there’s a new wave of tantrums and need of control, there’s cognitively higher arguments, again without the emotional regulation to handle when they don’t go their way.

8-9 is, apparently, a classic time for the first flush of hormones prior to puberty, so lots of big emotions, lots of big immaturity.

Twins experiencing this together also bring their own unique challenges.

I think your DD being ND is a big factor in how enjoyable parenting is for you.

I have three teenagers, all NT and doing well, and a husband who is an engaged father who does his share of the parenting and household management. So I have it easier than most. I did not enjoy parenting babies (it was exhausting, repetitive, isolating and not very rewarding), but once they were toddlers it got more interesting (how can you not find language acquisition a fascinating process?) and I love parenting teenagers, they are such great company. In my experience it has got easier and easier as they get older and now I have two at 6th form and will miss them so much when they go to Uni - thankfully the eldest is going to be less than an hour away so should still be able to see her regularly. They are my favourite people in the world.

I do. I possibly have circumstances very much in my favour though, so it's hard to say how much those contribute.

I'm a single mum with a no-contact dad, but he is reliable and generous financially so we are well-supported, which means I only have myself and DD to focus on; no husband / partner complications to deal with.

I am also a full-time teacher so we have a clear structure and routine, and we have all the holidays off together, which is amazing.

I have incredibly supportive parents who live nearby and are heavily involved in my daughter's life.

I'm really lucky. I do get stressed sometimes when I feel I have just so much on my plate (both work-work and house/home-work) but on the whole ,I'm really grafeful and my DD (11) is amazing. I love having someone to focus on other than myself, too. Feels a lot more healthy for me than the inward-looking self-obsession of my twenties!

I am mum to 42 year old twins. Life was hard for the first six months, they were very premature and never slept at the same time-or so it seemed. Better when they slept through the night at three and a half. They were busy and delightful toddlers and eager to be in primary school. No trouble in their teens. Friendly, outward looking and hardworking. We are still close as a family. They achieved highly academically and have excellent well paid careers.
Both have sons and I love being a grandparent.
Being a parent to adults is a minefield. I often feel I can’t be myself and express opinions as I would to other adults, even when my opinion is sought.
I have not yet reached the stage where they regard me as the child but I sense it won’t be long and, I think, that will be the hardest phase.

I had my first at 16 and while it was hard I honestly dont know any different so I dont long for a life or free time that i didnt have anyway

I love it

I love being a mum. Ds is the recipient of my love, my efforts and invested time, and my pride. He's turned into a lovely young man.He will head off to university in the autumn.

I have failed to find a life partner who could be trusted so I haven't had to split my affections or compromise which has made parenting easier.

@Ted27 I am sorry if I read it wrong. I was also late to parenting and I struggled to adjust as a result, although I am OK now and love being a mum (sometimes!) but having a newborn after forty odd years largely pleasing myself hit me like a truck and I did find the lack of sleep in particular very very hard.

@MyKindHiker
To be honest those moments for me are fleeting.
Adoption is a very complex thing.
Both the children and the adopter are on their own journeys and one day your path crosses.
I wasn't ready to adopt until my 40s. He wasn't ready to be adopted until he was 7.
Our paths crossed at the right time for both of us. It worked for us because at 8 he had enough understanding of what was happening and he was very ready to have a mummy of his own.
And to be honest - I dont much like babies and would have struggled more with nappies and teething.

I think it's important to get to the bottom of why you - as opposed to any other person - are finding it so hard.

The fact she is ND is potentially a factor, depending on how things are for your DD.

But also there are many other relevant questions - how equal is your marriage? How healthy are you overall? How much support do you have? How was your own upbringing? How many of your dreams have been thrown out? How interesting is your day-to-day life to you?

I love my kids and they bring such joy that I dont think its would ever get elsewhere. But christ it is hard and I am not enjoying teaching a person how to not be an arsehole. Its hard work. Eldest is 5, youngest 18m, so far I've preferred the 1-3 ages.

It is and I'm a completely solo parent (the dads choice) so I'm sure it'll have its challenges, it already has, but as of right now it's the best thing I've ever done!

I've been a Mum for almost 37 years.
6 dc ranging from 36 down to 11 so I can't imagine anything else.

I think the issue for parents now is unrealistic expectations. Most of parenting is really hard work and quite boring.

It will get better, 7 is still quite young.

I will caveat this by saying I have one child. He slept through at 8 weeks old and continued to do so, the first time he was unwell was at 9 years old, he was a good toddler and is now a pleasant, happy and chatty 15 year old with an interest in all sorts, who we can socialise and travel with easily. I can genuinely and without smugness (because I am aware how lucky i am) say he has never given me a days bother! So, yes, I absolutely love being a parent. Everything about it. I’m sure, however, if I had a typical, Kevin the Teenager after having a screaming baby, a terrible twoer and a feral pre-teen my answer would be entirely different!