Do you like being a parent?-honestly?

It’s far exceeded my expectations and I never had a driving urge to have them. My boys are now 23 and almost 21. Healthy, smart, doing well.The first three years were very hard, I didn’t enjoy the baby stage at all and we had no help so outsourced a lot of it and went back to work at four and five months each time. From three years onwards it’s been a doddle. Even the teenage years were fine. They’re real adults now, funny, nice to be around and I feel both us and they are reaping the rewards of all our hard work.

I love being the mother of my daughter: I love her to bits and have been lucky in that she’s, at 15, a genuine friend (I know that’s supposed to be a bad thing but for me its wonderful).

I don’t necessarily love being a parent in the generic sense of the word. I find a lot of parenting grunt work boring and limited but its all worth it for her.

I absolutely love it! Ive got two age 6 & 9 and loving these ages, a lovely mix of independence and nice behaviour. Wouldn't change it for the world.

Loved year 1. Hated years 2 and 3, have loved every other year and she’s about to turn 17. We’ve had more to deal with than most having a preemie and raising a disabled child is no cakewalk, but I have the best daughter in the world so that helps. 😆

I absolutely love it. The best thing I've ever done, mine are 18, 15 and 12 and my niece is 17 . Its incredibly hard, especially with my youngest as she has multiple disabilities but I love them with every fibre of my body, I love spending time with them, making memories together, watching them grow and experience life. I feel complete and content when i'm with them. I wish I could rewind time and have their childhood all over again. The days are long but the years are short is so so true. They grow up so fast and before you know it she will be off to college and you will have more freedom x

Yes very much. I feel sad that they're growing up at the time when the planet is on fire and we are all getting angrier and more stressy..But yes in general

Ok this isn’t something I generally admit. I really struggled when they were little, I found it hard. I suffered with PND and found it difficult to talk or play with them naturally. Everything felt like I was putting on an act. I couldn’t wait for them to go to bed and I feel terrible admitting that.

They are older now, 15 and 12 and we are all so close, so I must have done something right even if it didn’t feel like it at the time. We have a lovely relationship, they can talk to me about anything. I don’t know if this is due to them being older (I’m not comfortable around young children in general, I never know what to say to them), or that I don’t suffer with PND now … who knows, but I love being a parent these days.

There’s no denying that it’s hard work and has its moments of why did I sign up to this? I found it hard when both girls were under 4.

Now they’re both in primary school, things are much easier and I find it more rewarding as a dad. The adventures, trips away, laughs and silliness along with watching them grow and develop is beautiful.

My favourite days are being out with the girls even if it’s just for a walk in the park.

I hear you. I loved mothering mine when they were little. It became hard going I. The teenage years. Unfortunately, two out of three haven’t got any easier as adults 😩

Mine’s a teen, but like you, I’ve loved every stage.

Personally I find it the best chapter of my life so far but it’s also been the hardest in some ways.
Love her so much (7) and we have such a close bond and I really do enjoy her but it’s a rollercoaster.
Shes a pda-er so it sometimes really does test my patience having to find ways to encourage absolutely everything I need her do. Not an easy child by any means but I’ve absolutely LOVED her every day and have a great time with her. But equally feel I could burst with frustration at times too!

I think I’m lucky in that I’ve got a good friend with two kids and my sister, and niece who is my daughters bestie and supportive mum etc so good support network.
But honestly some days I do think “what the heck am I doing wrong, maybe I’m a crap mum.” All the negative stuff can creep in.

I think taking each day as it comes is a good way to look at it.

Many years ago before I had my daughter I asked my sister in law what it’s like having kids and did she enjoy it. Her response made me laugh as was so blunt but was so true.
“Well, when they are being good it’s nice. But when they are naughty it isn’t.” 😂🤣

I honestly do think genes and temperament have a lot to answer for as well. It’s a mix of nature and nurture how “easy” or tricky kids are.

take care xx

I have a two year old DD, so early days still for me. I can't say I love it all day every day but at the very minimum at least once a day I do absolutely love being a mum.

It definitely has its ups and downs. At the moment I’m really enjoying it but there has been times I’ve found it really hard.
I wouldn’t change anything if I could go back though.
I have 6 dc ranging from 30-11. They’ve all had tough patches and it’s really hard when two or three of them had stuff going on or were just being teenage aresholes.
The 3 eldest are 30,28 and 21 and are throughly nice human beings who I love spending time with.
The 15 year old has been a bit challenging but seems to be coming out the other side and is starting to be much nicer to be around.
The 12 and 11 year old boys are pretty easy at the moment as the hormones haven’t fully kicked in yet and as long as they get lots of fresh air and exercise they are lovely.

I generally like being a parent when I have them one on one. I have 3! Together I find them very hard work and very annoying much of the time. Sometimes they can be lovely to one another but more often they are winding each other up and bickering. Definitely don’t handle the conflict well.

Now they are teenagers, the physical side of things is easier but the worry about them doing well enough in school, passing exams, getting to the next stage is tricky. Am I involved too much or not enough?

And the expense is never ending!!

If I had my time again, I don’t know if I would have had children but then I know I would have been sad and felt like I was missing out.

Yes - they are 11 and 13. I didn’t much enjoy the baby bit but since then I have, although what I don’t enjoy is constantly worrying about whether I’m making the right decisions for them and being as good a parent as a I can be without totally losing my sense of self.
i love watching them change and develop their own skills and interests, and I love taking them on adventures and seeing them take new things in. Overall I’m immensely happy to be a parent although I suspect there are many challenges ahead!

This is my favourite part of parenting - the proper conversations, their profound questions out of nowhere that really make you think, their wildly creative ideas, discovering who they are as people (mine are 3 and 5). Enjoyed some of the baby and toddler bits but now I'm glad we're almost through that stage tbh and looking forward to more answering back!

Yes I do actually love it. My DDs are 11 and 14.
It is hard at times though

I totally get it, BUT honestly don’t wish it away. 7 is such a lovely age, and you might really regret how you feel now one day. Make the most of it.
My DC is a lot older (17) and it has truly been a living nightmare for 3 years. I wish I could turn the clock back.

@badgerandthefox
there is a saying in adoption world that adoption is a marathon and not a sprint.
But I think that applies to all parenting really.

Some of us here have finished or are nearing the end of our marathons, others just starting out.
As I look back over the last 14 years, the hard times were worth it because it built our family and got us where we are today - which is a good place.
The pre children stuff you miss will come back, much quicker than you think.
But of course we are all entitled to find life hard at times, because it is, to be honest about it and have a moan about it.
I have breakfast every Friday with 3 friends, we spend most of our time moaning about kids, husbands, jobs, etc etc. Its good for the soul.

Mine are young adults now. I love being a parent. I still get a kick out of saying my son or my daughter.
My favourite ages were between 7-12 so you're just heading into that age now.

Yes.
It’s the first time I’ve felt fully secure in my role

I absolutely love it, though I’m still in the early days - mine are almost 5, 3 and 1. I thought I had a great life before with my husband and friends and career, but they have made it so much better. I’ll probably be rubbish at the teen stage though.

Do I like it? Not really.

I love my DC and wouldn’t be without them. But life is infinitely more difficult than I anticipated. I guess I very naively didn’t prepare for the possibility of an extremely challenging ND child.

Every aspect of parenting is just really challenging. We have very little freedom to enjoy our lives as support is so limited.

But just because I don’t particularly “like” or enjoy parenting, it doesn’t mean I don’t love DC as I very much do.

This is such an interesting question and the responses have been thought provoking- thank you.

i have enjoyed parenting way more than I expected to- I wasn’t fussed about having kids, was never broody or fantasised about having a baby, and wasn’t at all sure I would want to be with my baby that much (and even less my toddler!) but apart from some times in the very early weeks, I can honestly say I’ve enjoyed being a parent to my child and each stage has been nicer than the previous one.

That said, it gets progressively harder too, because as they develop as people and have more independence, it becomes more difficult to make them happy and to protect them from the world (of course), and when she’s unhappy I can’t be happy either. She’s mid teens now and while it felt like this age would never come, here we are and looking back the time is really so short. Realistically, in three years she may well be preparing to move away from here and we’ll never live together again, and I will have to deal with that which is probably going to be super hard- even while I’m delighted for her. I’m prepping now by trying to establish myself in a new career, and making myself busier outside the home.