Do you like being a parent?-honestly?

I love my kids enormously, but being a grandparent wins.

This is interesting and I’m pleased I’m
not alone. I have DS4.5 and recently commented to DH that I was FINALLY beginning to enjoy him. Love him pieces of course but would agree that I’ve found hard and felt v restricted / missed our old life.
I was ecstatic (and relieved) to find this new state and love that he is with us on this journey.

Ive nearly got 4 kids (4th due next month) and I can honestly say I love it and wouldn't change a thing, even though I'm often exhausted.

Yes I love being a mum. I found the first couple of years extremely difficult with my first child but it got easier. I think you will find it gets better as they get older.

I don't enjoy being a parent. I had one and said never again. I truly don't have any comprehension of how people love it so much they have a second, third, fourth etc

I loved being a mum in the first two years when we just had one small (adorable) child. Now they’re 4 and 7, and I love them, but my life feels very limited and exhausting. I feel really overstimulated. No regrets, but I can’t say I’m loving it. I do love spending time just with my 7yo; it’s when they’re together that they behave really badly.

I love my daughter but hate being a mum. She's almost 5 and is on the waiting list to be assessed for ADHD and is such such hard work. Loves to poke and prod and wind me up and stands laughing in my face when I do eventually lose it. From the moment she gets up to the moment she goes to bed. I'm on my own with her. She refuses to sleep in her own bed and will only go to bed when I do, so its an 8pm bed time for me. I hate mum life

My DC is not "chilled" or well behaved - but I find life with him lovely and fun. I love him and he is the best company - I travelled with him solo since he was 10 months, and still love going places with him. He makes my life much more colourful and fresh and fun.

Mine is 13, Wish had him earlier/ wish I had more. Being a parent is the best thig ever.

What do you think would make life better? What is it that you want, that you're missing?

I love being a parent. DS is currently 9 and he’s just my best friend. He loves all the same things as me. We walk for miles in the countryside and just enjoy each others company. We both hate sitting at home doing nothing so it helps we have that in common as we can go be ‘busy’ together. Do you have things in common with your DD? Can you find things you both love to do so it’s fun and not a chore to hang out with her?

It gets better when they leave home. That way you've had some respite when they come back for holidays etc and know they'll be off again.

I struggled with the loneliness of single parenthood and all the associated financial hardship (real hardship).
It was relentless and all on me.
I can't say that I enjoyed it although I love my now adult child.
Unfortunately, being a parent has cost me enormously ( not financially), addiction, imprisonment and lots more.
I am in permanent emotional pain that I have learnt to freeze to enable me to function.
I hope and pray for change

Does anyone always enjoy anything all the time?! A lot of the time, yes, the cuddles, the love, the hand holding and the adventures together I love. My dds are 8 and 10 and a lot of the time are great fun. I do hate the bickering and fighting they do, the strops, the long bedtimes and the whining. It’s not all roses! I wouldn’t change it, but my kids don’t have any issues, I can see if you had children with additional needs it could be really tough.

I recognise a lot of this. Hang in there. Posts on here about retiring at 50 always make me want to cry. We’re mortgaged until my DH is past retirement age.

I think I would do it again if I had my time over BUT maybe not in this specific economic situation.

I always loved it and I still do. Some of it is luck. I happened to have chilled and naturally well behaved kids. I assume our parenting helped but I think they came out chilled. I was also lucky that we didn’t have financial worries which makes everything a lot easier.

This is great advice OP.

Hypervigilance is robbing my of my happiness as a parent. I’m in therapy about it. In my case some of it can’t be avoided for medical reasons, but also k need to learn to let things go.

For me the balance between being engaged and supportive, and being totally overwhelmed, is very hard to find.

I miss my old life dreadfully BUT I can see flickers of myself coming back occasionally . Eldest will be 9 this year.

Honestly, no I don't love it or even like it that much. I love my children but Its never really got easier as they got older, its just hard in different ways. Its so hard not lose yourself between parenting, running a home, fulltime work and other responsibilities and that is with lovely kids and a really great husband who easily does his 50% or more.

There are nice moments but I don't think I would do it again given the chance, I'd also never say that to anyone in real life, not even my husband. Maybe its the time we live in although I am sure all times had their difficulties, the pressure seems relentless these days and then I worry about their futures. Will they find good partners, will they be able to earn enough for a good life, get a secure home, have access to a functioning NHS, clean air to breathe, a liveable pension.

I am from a fairly poor background and did will at school, went to University and got a decent job, worked really hard and even then it feels we haven't much to show for it. Being the first to go to university from my family meant I didn't have much idea of how things worked and lacked confidence and probably had lower expectations than many of my peers and lacked the contacts many of them had. I feel as though I didn't have enough to really ensure they'd be able to compete in the world and if I'd really thought about that I might have had the foresight not to have them unless I knew I could really give them what they need to do really well. It sounds like I am focuses on money and really I don't actually care about wealth and stuff its just that it seems increasingly obvious to me that for ordinary people life is going to become increasingly hard over the years to come even those who previously were affluent will struggle to achieve a basic standard of living, its already happening.

Yes, my DDs are in their 20s. They are amazing. It was hard at times. I found toddlers and teens difficult. But now they are an utter delight.

I love it. I was an outdoorsy kid and teen, who kind of lost my way with it whilst enjoying my twenties. We had a lot of fun travelling and I "settled down" way before having our son.

Now I find I'm fully embracing the outdoors again and am having a whale of a time. I like being silly and exploring and I get to do lots of both with my son.

I'm really lucky that this far, he's a lively but compliant little soul.

The downside is my relationship has suffered. My husband doesn't shirk his responsibilities, it's just frustrating to see how he executes them, gets overwhelmed, and can't see the sense in following VERY BASIC parenting strategies that I use that have effective results. And things about him that used to be fine are suddenly super annoying because they're in a time-limited environment. I didn't expect him to change I just didn't know how much it would annoy me! We're in a much better place and I can see that it will keep getting better, but it was a real blow t our relationship for a while.

I know we’re not supposed to say it but I agree. I don’t enjoy it. Wouldn’t be without my child but despite waiting years to have him if I could do it all again I wouldn’t have had him.
I didn’t know how hard it would be or how utterly exhausted I would be. I resent the disruption to my career and it’s a totally thankless task. I spent years yearning to be a mother. I know this sounds selfish. I am so lucky to have him but I don’t enjoy it one bit.

It took me by surprise because I wasn’t at all
maternal Pre-kids and our eldest was a happy accident (only 1-2 years before we would probably have thought about having children though). I love being a parent, absolutely love it. I found the newborn stage the hardest, because of the unpredictability of newborn babies, but loved it once they got to about the 12 week mark, and started being more interesting. I’m more of a toddler / child person than a baby person I’d say. My boys are now 12 and 14 and are still absolutely amazing - lovely boys, and such good fun to be with. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but the majority of the time it’s pretty awesome. My husband finds it harder, I think because he is less consistent than me, so the eldest is occasionally a bit cheeky to him and takes it too far, which he never does with me ever as I wouldn't allow any kind of back chat or rudeness. I’m not super strict with them but I have clear expectations for their behaviour and consequences should they misbehave (which is very rare).

what do you miss from your life before? We’ve always just brought our kids along. I mean obviously we don’t go out to bars and get drunk like we did when we were in our early-mid-twenties, but then we’d more or less outgrown doing that kind of thing by the time we had the children anyway (31). We still travel extensively, go on sports holidays, do our individual hobbies as well as coach at the kids sports.

Mine are 19 & 16 and on the whole I have enjoyed being their mum. It has nearly finished me off at times and I often wished I could have worked less but we are where we are!
I would not, under any circumstances go back to the beginning and have another baby at this point (I'm 42) I am definitely ready to enjoy their independence, I honestly think I could quite happily hibernate for a few years to recuperate 🤣

Sorry to hear that. This sounds incredibly difficult. Are you getting any support with it?

No, I hate it. I had PND and have suffered with depression ever since. Feel sorry for my kids having me as their mum.