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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wedding guests

41 replies

sarah0106 · 20/04/2026 15:54

getting Married next year, I’ve not seen my uncle auntie and 2 cousins in 7+ years.
I was going to invite to evening part but people are saying this isn’t right and because there family they should be there the whole thing.
AIBU to stand my ground and invite only to night time

OP posts:
Whatwouldnanado · 20/04/2026 16:58

Who are the ‘people’ here? Tell them to mind their own business. The only people planning a wedding guest list should be the couple getting married.

Miranda65 · 20/04/2026 16:56

Your parents are wrong and, crucially, it's not their wedding.
You invite the people you want to be there.
I'd leave out the ain't and uncle completely, tbh - being "family" is completely irrelevant.

Original poster
sarah0106 · 20/04/2026 16:53

its mostly my parents who are saying oh you’ve got to invite auntie and uncle n cousins

OP posts:
TheBlueRobin · 20/04/2026 16:30

CluelessInMyGarden · 20/04/2026 16:29

Didn’t invite anyone we hadn’t seen in person in the previous 2 years. PIL weren’t happy about some people being left out but when their family was 5 times the size of ours, something had to give!

That's a good rule to follow, we've done something similar.

CluelessInMyGarden · 20/04/2026 16:29

Didn’t invite anyone we hadn’t seen in person in the previous 2 years. PIL weren’t happy about some people being left out but when their family was 5 times the size of ours, something had to give!

mindutopia · 20/04/2026 16:24

I don’t like this whole two tier thing. It’s tacky. Also the evening bit isn’t the bit I’d come for and this is especially the case with family. It’s fine for work colleagues who just want to party. For older relatives, they’d probably rather be in bed then. I’d invite them to the whole thing or not at all. But assuming your cousin isn’t a small child, I don’t think you have to invite the cousin at all. If they’re an adult, ideally they’d have a +1 and it sounds like you definitely aren’t going to do that.

AmazingGreatAunt · 20/04/2026 16:10

We got married nearly 26 years ago. For various reasons, we were in Europe, family in UK, I just did the normal thing of sending out invitations to all family and friends. Due to the short timescale, 7.5 weeks, I knew that quite a few would not make it.
Both my aunts declined the invitation, because they were "old", some friends could not make it as they had things arranged.
So from the 80 people invited we had 30 on the day. Fine by me. No evening party in those days, far too "twee".

toastofthetown · 20/04/2026 16:07

Which people are saying it’s not right? If your aunt, uncle and cousins take offence, it doesn’t sound like you’d even notice anyway.

StationJack · 20/04/2026 16:04

My nibling is getting married this summer. I've not been invited. I don't think I've seen nibling for about 25 years.
I'm not sure if i should mind or not. Maybe they are limited in how many they can invite and want the guests to be people they know.
(sibling is NC with me)

DPotter · 20/04/2026 16:04

I was invited to the evening only of a cousin's daughter's wedding. Frankly I has surprised and delighted to be invited at all.

If you invite extended family it can get very big and very expensive really quickly and you may not have space / £££ for your friends who you see regularly

TelevisualArseGravy · 20/04/2026 15:59

Do you want them to come to your wedding? If not, why invite them at all?

SunMoonandChocolate · 20/04/2026 15:59

'FeliciaFancybottom', great minds think alike! lol

SunMoonandChocolate · 20/04/2026 15:58

If you haven't seen them for that long I wouldn't invite them at all, as they obviously aren't bothered about you, so why would you bother with them?

FeliciaFancybottom · 20/04/2026 15:58

I wouldn't invite them at all tbh.

TheBlueRobin · 20/04/2026 15:58

I'm inviting quite a few extended family to evening only, simply because I don't have a relationship with them and would rather prioritise the friends I am in touch with and actually know me and my partner.

JustSayingReally · 20/04/2026 15:56

I don’t think you’re unreasonable. I got married last year and did the same, I had close family and friends at the wedding and everyone else at the reception.
Its your wedding, I’m assuming you’re paying for it so you say who comes

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