What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

I agree with you that a stiff upper lip was more normal and small communities can be overly nosey (even now), but I think people often spoke about their problems and provided support in different and more subtle ways. Though I’m sure this results in sporadic levels of support. Equally, many people would have found the idea of talking openly about their problems horrifying, not helpful. I am not suggesting we look back through rose-tinted spectacles, but I do think there has been a major zeitgeist shift.

I'm not so sure. I was born in 1957, so I'm quite old. There never really was a time when talking about your marriage problems, rape, being unable to cope with your own kids or how awful your parents were was particularly acceptable. And you certainly didn't "air your dirty linen" (as it was called) with fellow church goers, not if they were Church of England anyway. Blimey, you'd be the talk of the neighbourhood, and not in a good way. You were expected to get on with it. And to be fair, a lot of people were living in mouldy tenement blocks with outside toilets so psychological insecurities were the least of anyone's problems.

I’m just watching some Victoria Wood ‘stuff’.
Dolly from Dinnerladies:
’Counselling? My mother was trapped under a Blackpool tram and all she got was a cup of tea and two tickets to Charlie Drake!’
Kitty, part of the Cheshire set and agony aunt, on other people’s problems:
‘We’re spunky in Cheadle, we totter on!’

How? You dont think we need both a healthy body and a healthy mind to function optimally?

I'm a psychotherapist. I trained for three years and am registered with the BACP.

I don't understand quite what you're so irritated by in your OP.

Gaining insight into the underlying emotional and psychological drivers for the way we think, feel and behave can be transformative and free us up to see ourselves in completely different, more positive, compassionate ways.

I have clients come to see me for all sorts of reasons. Usually it starts out as 'I'm just a bit anxious', or 'I feel generally low in mood', or 'I can't control my anger'. But with the right sort of inquiry, the layers are slowly peeled back to reveal deep wounds such as trauma, bereavement, and childhood abuse and/or physical or emotional neglect. Emotional neglect is one of the most insidious ones because people can believe they grew up in a 'happy' family. But when you look further into it, there can be a painful realisation that while all your physical and material needs may have been met, in fact none of your emotional needs were. That can lead to an inexplicable feeling of abandonment that is carried through into adulthood and re-enacted in relationships.

People carry so much. And when they're stuck in the same pattern, wondering how to make changes, having an objective person who is not emotionally invested in you in the way that friends and family are, can be really helpful in guiding you through asking those difficult questions. Often we are far too close to the wood to be able to see it for the trees.

It's really not unusual to get to session eight or nine talking about general anxiety or anger, or whatever the presenting issue is, and then the client will disclose that they were raped at university, or something similarly awful and shattering happened to them. Then things start to make sense. The pieces fall into place, dots start joining up, and the real work of healing can begin.

It's a genuine privilege to do this work and I don't know why an individual's process of better understanding themselves would invite any kind of judgement.

Perhaps those who would judge find the idea threatening?

Er, I think you’ll find they do.
Maybe not life coaches, but I know some of those who have studied as well.

But there may come a time where you simply can't "crack on" and at that point you may choose to seek additional support beyond friends and family. Or perhaps not, which is great for you.

Other people experience life differently to you, though. So whether you see value or not has no impact on whether it is of value to others.

Zeitgeist
Probably due to the demise of traditional cohesive community structures and church going. In the past a lot of people received what would now be called therapy in other guises and from people other than therapists. Atomised societies don’t have those support structures.

Do you really want to live in a world where a child with a life changing condition was given a leaflet and sent on her way?

Jesus wept.

But that's just it. I got to the point where i couldn't just crack on. People who know me in real life would no doubt say that I'm one of the most capable people they know. I have a decent job, my own home blah blah. I'm the one that lots of people rely on. I'm the organiser, the one who gets things done.
I'd been feeling a bit low, I'd had stuff happen in my life that I hadn't had chance to deal with and it was all coming to a head. One day. I was on my way to a friend and just knowing she was going to ask how I was brought the tears. In hadn't even got there yet. She hadn't even asked me and already the tears were there. That's when I decided I needed to see someone. Up until that point....i just cracked on.

Be grateful that you can just crack on, drink your gin, swear and sing. Up until then... so could I

We both needed it for the same reason. After a trauma.

Broadly, I agree with the OP.

I think therapy is often pushed when it’s just ups and downs of normal life. It’s also hugely expensive and the cynic in me thinks the more it’s normalised the more it encourages people to spend money on it.

ChatGPT is brilliant for talking through problems and issues.

Many therapies are NOT about you talking about yourself

My DD did CBT for ME/CFS. It was about teaching her the concept of pacing, recording her activities, setting a goal each week to be worked on during the week (eg get outside each day). I was in the sessions as she was early teen at the time.

it was more mentoring and teaching than anything else and there was very little of my dd talking about herself.

I’m with my fellow @DreamyJade

You are being deliberately provocative now. Are you that selfless that you wouldn’t go to your GP and tell them you’d found a lump in your breast? You’d just crack on? You wouldn’t want to draw attention to yourself?

It’s no different.

I can imagine getting a bit fed up with @iamfedupwiththis
Why wouldn’t someone want to listen to you?
I mean, I’m struggling a bit, but I’d give it a good go.

Therapist are not just sitting there listening to you talk about yourself. They listen in order to understand, because they are fascinated with how people work and they have insight and training into how to help people help themselves.

It does take work and you would be challenged. Perhaps you’re not ready for that, or perhaps you don’t have anything that causes emotional pain. If so, just be grateful.

For wanting to start an argument with a stranger online for starters 🤣🤣🤣