What is the obsession with therapy/counselling?

Before you start a thread criticising therapy and being very judgemental about those who feel they need it to help them cope with their trauma perhaps you should actually educate yourself on what its purpose is.

Hint: It isn’t to “fix” things.

It can help you process the trauma. Not just stuff it down and pretend it didn't happen but actually process it and deal with it in a healthy way.

I had PTSD and some specific trauma based therapy helped to stop the relentless nightmares and flashbacks. It helped me find peace again.

Sorry but this post can't be for real.

You can't seriously believe that good quality therapy doesn't help people deal with grief or other emotional pain - that is precisely what it can do.

Good therapy helps people deal with bad situations whilst they are happening, and helps people heal from historic hurt.

I mentioned upthread I went to therapy to deal with CSA really. Everyone is different but another member of my family was also abused by the same abuser is more of the “no need to look at the past” type.

She was abused by the perpetrator for decades and she brought her young children around him all of the time.

Sometimes looking back and having therapy can also have an additional value in preventing abuse going forward.

I don’t have anything to do with those family members anymore but last I heard she was still massively in denial about the closed in family culture that was still hiding that abuser from any accountability.

I definitely think she would benefit from some decent therapy but she is massively avoidant of anything emotional which I would expect is largely down to early abusive experiences.

I think it can be extremely hard for avoidants to understand why therapy can be useful and often they struggle massively with empathy for themselves and for others because of the discomfort emotions cause them.

My Nan was on it half her life, absolutely working class. As were many of her working class friends. They were known as “Mother’s little helpers” and 10% of UK women were on them in the 1960s. She’d grown up in an orphanage so had a lot of her own issues. They were definitely prevalent in working class communities.

But you are using an example where you can change the situation that was causing you so much harm.

What about situations that cant be changed?

A woman who needs therapy because she’s raped?
What can she do to change that? She can’t undo the rape can she?

Someone who has been a victim of childhood abuse?
The abuse cant be undone.

Someone who is grieving the death of the child?
Their child cant be bought back.

Surely you can understand that sometimes it’s not a case of just changing the situation and cracking on?

Well most working class women didn't. Valium was generally a middle class option and even then far more so in American society where they had a big problem with it in the 60's and 70's.

It's easy to check this.

Good therapy might have made this: I was in a job that was toxic, I was crying every day on my way to work, thinking about crashing the car so I could get a break, having panic attacks, crying in boots over a mascara. less difficult in your day-to-day.

But no one wants to argue with you, it's your life. If you want to get through life your way, that's entirely ok.

Hopefully things are much improved for you now.

Easy enough to find out if you're approaching a therapist.

Some things can't be changed such as changing jobs due to issues at work and therapy can help with processing and coming to terms with issues such as trauma and/or treating PTSD.

As I said in my first comment, it isn't for everyone. It clearly helps some people though and I don't see the issue.

You could have had tools to deal with the situation, had help to better respond and understand your reactions, techniques to manage difficult situations etc.

or just someone to vent to.

I don’t have any real issues but had a bit of therapy recently to help me get over a few stumbling blocks I was struggling with. I was able to reflect, have been given a few exercises that really help me when I feel overwhelmed or get task paralysis.

some of the best money I’ve spent.

Ethical counsellors are qualified.

Though we also closed asylums abruptly and turfed out elderly people who were so institutionalised they struggled to survive. I had a great aunt who lived in a vast and imposing Victorian asylum in Edinburgh for decades. She was a very bright woman - she was a decoder at Bletchley - but had a nervous breakdown after her RAF pilot fiancé died. From what I understand, she became the asylum librarian and was very content there. They weren’t all horror houses.

This explains a lot about why you feel the way you do.

You're very harsh towards yourself, and I think there are different ways. But you will have your reasons for the choices you make.

Some things can't just be changed like that. That's one of the times where therapy may be helpful for someone.

Even though I and others have told you repeatedly that our own experiences show that it can indeed improve your mind? Why are you refusing to acknowledge that?

ETA: I do accept your point that lots of therapists are rubbish. It can be very difficult to find a good one.

A lot of people were also committed, or spent their lives drugged up to the eyeballs on Valium. Luckily we’ve found healthier ways to deal with things since then.