Am looking for advice for how others who’ve gone through this stage of life have dealt with these family dynamics.
i have a sister (older by 10 years) who I have got along with really well with until recently. We are in our early 30s and 40s. It’s not that we’ve fallen out; it’s that for the last 2 years or I’ve found I just can’t stand her personality and spending time with her. We live close by and in the past have really enjoyed going on walks together, lunch etc etc. and I feel really mean about how I react to her at the moment so would like to know if others have experienced the same?
when she calls or we’re together, she offloads all her worries on to me, usually having got herself into a frenzy about things (like our parents, or some other topic that’s taken her attention that week). I stopped her mid sentence a few months ago and asked her to stop doing this, and that whenever she rang she just used me as an emotional dumping ground. She burst into tears and hung up immediately.
but it’s started again. We recently had a weekend together with a long drive, and it was unbearable- she has pre rehearsed things like : “I’ve been trying to make DH do X but he always Y.” “I always feel like when I see X, Y happens and [insert negative comment]”. “X thing has happened and so I always feel Y”.
but ALWAYS the same phrases. All with really negative intensity. Very often assuming the worst outcomes and worst intentions of people.
I don’t claim to be the life and joy of a party, but I feel like I ca never get a word in edge ways and if I try to change the subject to something lighter, she just sighs miserably. If I try to call out that she’s told me this story FIVE times already this month, she’s like I know I know. I mean, if she knows, WHY REGALE ME AGAIN!
sorry, bit of a long one and not super well explained. But perhaps it resonates with people