to be fed up with how little I can eat now I’m menopausal?

@menno are you on HRT?

Same. Had been relatively fortunate all my life not to need to do too much to maintain a decent weight. Now? I’m sure I put on weight just opening the fridge. I have put on so much since hitting peri and the amount of weight I now carry around my tummy is horrifying. Have had to replace my work clothes as I just couldn’t fit in them anymore

Basically, everything @MeridaBrave said.

Studies are showing that our metabolism doesn't change that much as we age, rather our calorie consumption slowly increases, our muscle mass decreases, and our non-exercise movement decreases.

"Going to the gym" is not as important as people think it is. In terms of managing and maintaining muscle resistance training and weightlifting is essential, but in terms of weight management, "the gym" amounts to less than 20% of your total calorie expenditure, with the rest being made up from non-exercise movement. If you're getting up, driving to work, sitting at a desk, driving to the gym, working out for an hour, driving home, and sitting in front of the TV, you are sedentary.

Also, if you can only lose weight by eating 800-900 calories a day, you are not counting your calories properly and are vastly underestimating what you are eating.

Lots of studies now showing calories are not all equal and 1500 calories of unprocessed wholefoods is not same as 1500 calories more processed.
Also protein has a TEF of 40% so eating more protoein is far less likely to result in fat being gained.

I swapped my HRT from patches to spray. My Oestrogen levels were 167. Within.6 weeks i lost 1 stone. HRT is your answer.

Well I’ve been like this since the age of about 30 and I was not menopausal then because I had a baby at 39. But yes, ever since 30 I have to eat a keto diet to stay slim. I am 5ft 4 and a small frame. This is unfortunate as any weight I put on is immediately obvious.

I cannot eat bread.

This is not normal OP. Have you had your thyroid checked to see if it's underactive? Or even your kidneys/heart to see if you're retaining lots if fluid.
Do you eat a lot of salt? That can make you retain fluid as well.

Or do you drink lots of alcohol?

I have put on a stone since starting HRT five months ago without changing my diet, I was quite shocked when I stood on the scales! My clothes don't fit right and I don't feel like me. I'm going to try changing when I eat (often eat dinner at 8pm or later due to work) and start doing some weight training. I don't want to stop the HRT as the improvement in brain fog has been amazing and I understand the wider health benefits, but I would still like to look and feel like me!

Part of the frustration is people saying you must be tracking it wrong or you can eat more calories when you know you don’t lose on that. Or it’s impossible to gain 2lbs from one meal when you know you did and it didn’t come off again.
I had a particularly disastrous few months with a 1-1 young female pt who didn’t get it at all.
You know your own body.
Find what works for you. I definitely think some foods suit better. Eggs for breakfast, soup lunch, dinner of protein and veg and lots of walking suit me. No snacking.
It’s mainly down to food.
Gym and exercise obviously has benefits but makes little difference to weight loss.

I feel the same - sending lots of sympathies

I also took stairs, no lifts, walked everywhere including to tube, bus stop. So really upped my steps.

In peri though I started a new job and walked fast (so you’re slightly out of breath) to office every day for 10-15 mins. Had soup and toast for lunch. Cut carbs at night. Allowed myself odd treat (we had a treat table at work) including alcohol. Lost 2 stone in a few months. Prob 4 months total.

Yeah in my 20s were super slim, late 20s-30 put on weight. Doesn’t help I hate the gym. But like dance, swimming and classes. Damned metabolism slowing down!

I lost a stone when in psychiatric unit for 3 months as I couldn’t stomach the carb heavy food there plus one dish made me vomit. My DM brought in a huge salad with egg and feta cheese every day for me plus fruit salad pots and Philadelphia cheese breadsticks snacks. I had dips and crackers for “dinner” and crisps. I lost 2 stone doing that. But it’s quite restrictive. I like 3 meals a day and yes sadly I do snack.

Urgh feel you! Lost 2 stone at 45 and kept it off beautifully until 49 despite covid. Then despite maintaining my good habits I sodding put it back on again when peri hit me hard at 49-50 😳. Doing what I did before is not working so i have to practically not eat all day. Even harder is that I have to model good healthy eating to teen girls one of whom is v tall and active.

I gained around 1.5 stones in my late forties, after a lifetime of being able to eat what I wanted. I don't think the mirena (for anemia) has helped either. On the BMI chart I've moved from the middle of healthy to borderline healthy/overweight.

Interestingly my weight seems pretty stable now, it's like my baseline has simply changed. I simply cannot bear the thought of a life of permanent deprivation so I think I am just going to accept being a bit fat.

Yes I put on weight in Peri and the Corona stone over Covid which I then lost through exercise and diet. Then I went on HRT and drugs for depression/anxiety/psychosis and I’ve piled on 2 more stone. Very hard to shift. But I like food! I’m due to come off final drug (fluoxetine) this/next month and would like to come off HRT too but don’t want to get meno symptoms back again. Don’t know what to do really!

Edited as quoted the wrong poster. This was to thd poster who said there was nothing goid about menopause
Really? That's a shame that's your experience, as I've never felt better. I'm on HRT and have no symptoms at all, none. My hair is growing thick and fast, I've kept a 25" waist and have bags of energy. My moods are even now, so calm instead of the red mists and attacks of paranoia/tearfulness that were a monthly blight. My migraines have reduced too.
I do look after myself better than I ever have. Eat clean, don't drink, excercise regularly, prioritise sleep and supplement B vitamins and D, which may all have sonething to do with it. But generally I feel immeasurably better than pre menopause.
Not wanting to rub salt in your wounds BTW. Just wanted to give another perspective because I know younger women can dread this life stage, and it isn't always bad.

You proved me wrong.

You are short at 5' 1" which invariably impacts TDEE. The fact you haven't put on weight and your clothing size hasn't changed suggests to me (I am not a qualified PT) that you haven't built significant muscle mass with the weight training you are doing. I found that my weight increased a bit, but my measurements changed (smaller) and when I have put on weight, it is carried differently than it was before. If you build more muscle mass your BMR will be higher and you'll burn more calories even when resting. May be worth exploring that with a PT in the gym?

Me too - it’s rubbish when ive been used to eating and drinking whatever i wanted. Damn you, hormones and short stature!
I read you need 10 calories a year less every year you age over 20…i shall only be able to have half an apple and a black coffee per day if i get to 75!

I just did my TDEE and it said 1850 calories per day, but if I ate that I'd gain consistently. I've worked out that I need to eat no more than 1600 calories to maintain and less to lose.

It is very annoying. When you are young you could eat pretty much anything you wanted then to suddenly find you cannot is a shock to the system.
The low carb thing is very hard to sustain. Especially if you love carbs.
But yes, your metabolism takes a hike.

Yeah, I'm starting to realise that I can't eat carbs either. If I eat low carb and take lots of exercise that seems to be the best solution.

it is not metabolism slowing, it is more to do with activity decreasing as we age

I started working a year ago in a fairly sedentary job. If this above statement is right, then that's obviously had an impact. I wasn't working before and I did take more exercise. Clearly I need to find/make time for that again.