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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up with how little I can eat now I’m menopausal?

270 replies

menno · 20/04/2026 08:58

Since hitting menopause my metabolism seems to have just given up. I have to live on salads and protein twice a day to keep my weight stable.

I do weight training 3–4 times a week and exercise regularly. I guess that helps otherwise I would gain weight.

Last week I went out for a birthday dinner and also had afternoon tea and cake and I’ve put on 2kg. Now I have to go straight back to being super strict, like fish/meat and vegetables every night just to shift it again.

Pre-menopause I could eat more without watching everything. If I did gain, it would drop easily. Now it is hard work.

DH and teen DC put away huge amounts of food and I have to watch everything I am eating.

AIBU to find this really depressing and restrictive?

OP posts:
Loomis · 20/04/2026 18:14

menno · 20/04/2026 18:11

It is not just feeling fat - my BMI is in the overweight category,

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So is mine, just, but I really don't care - BMI was based on men, doesn't take into account your shape or weight distribution, and I'm Latina and happen to like a chunky thigh and a round bum.

Original poster
menno · 20/04/2026 18:12

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 20/04/2026 18:05

100g of protein a day isn't that much. Easy to do.

Show me an example.

OP posts:
Original poster
menno · 20/04/2026 18:11

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:45

I'm just finding it genuinely so depressing there are people who feel fat on barely 10st. I'm 5ft2 and just under 10st with 0 body insecurity.

It is not just feeling fat - my BMI is in the overweight category,

OP posts:
thenightsky · 20/04/2026 18:09

Darkspiderplant · 20/04/2026 15:16

I am on HRT and I’ve had all sorts of blood tests for thyroid, liver, kidney etc, everything shows up fine.
I don’t know how to manage it, if I stick to my calories and lose weight, I am so hungry all the time. That’s following a high protein, low UPF diet. It is so depressing. I hate feeling hungry all the time. But it a choice I have to make - be permanently hungry or be permanently unhappy with my weight and how I look.

I'm the same. I reckon HRT hasn't helped as its increased my bra cup size from DD to FF (or even G in some styles). Band size has stayed the same, so it looks like 90% of the increased weight is carried on my chest now.

Loomis · 20/04/2026 18:06

Frequency · 20/04/2026 18:03

It's really not hard to meet, just make sure each meal has a good quality protien source.

Greek yoghurt + whey protein powder or eggs for breakfast
Prawn/tuna/chicken salad for lunch
Protein shake after a workout
Chicken/turkey and veg for dinner + Greek yoghurt or Skyr and fruit for dessert

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The thought of all that meat makes me want to boak

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 20/04/2026 18:05

100g of protein a day isn't that much. Easy to do.

Frequency · 20/04/2026 18:03

BringBackCatsEyes · 20/04/2026 17:50

Jumping in at a random point in the thread…..and thinking that’s A LOT of protein! 😝

Show quote history

It's really not hard to meet, just make sure each meal has a good quality protien source.

Greek yoghurt + whey protein powder or eggs for breakfast
Prawn/tuna/chicken salad for lunch
Protein shake after a workout
Chicken/turkey and veg for dinner + Greek yoghurt or Skyr and fruit for dessert

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/04/2026 17:56

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:54

Still sounds like a miserable way to live 🤣

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I don’t personally find it miserable, because the bloating, water retention, discomfort and lethargy I had when I ate lots of carbs was miserable. I feel much better this way.

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:54

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/04/2026 17:52

Keto can include low-carb vegetables: a long term maintenance keto diet can include between 50-100g of carbs per day, which is plenty for leafy and cruciferous vegetables. It’s not just eating nothing but fat and protein.

Edited
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Still sounds like a miserable way to live 🤣

chipsticksmammy · 20/04/2026 17:54

Velvetandleather · 20/04/2026 17:20

If your tdee is genuinlh only 1200 then you’re incredibly sendentary so I’d move more.

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Mine is 1250.

I CrossFit train every day nearly. Hit 10-20 k steps.

On a GLP-1.

What am I doing wrong?

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/04/2026 17:52

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:41

So not a true low carb diet then, I'm talking about the keto lot really!

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Keto can include low-carb vegetables: a long term maintenance keto diet can include between 50-100g of carbs per day, which is plenty for leafy and cruciferous vegetables. It’s not just eating nothing but fat and protein.

BringBackCatsEyes · 20/04/2026 17:50

Delatron · 20/04/2026 17:35

I would look at eating 1.5 times body weight in protein. So aiming more towards 100 grams.

Jumping in at a random point in the thread…..and thinking that’s A LOT of protein! 😝

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/04/2026 17:50

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:45

I'm just finding it genuinely so depressing there are people who feel fat on barely 10st. I'm 5ft2 and just under 10st with 0 body insecurity.

It’s a lot easier a task to nip weight gain in the bud when you’ve gained 2kg or 5kg and address that than it is to continue on letting the small gains add up, end up very overweight, and have the daunting prospect of needing to lose 30kg. Not everyone is obsessing simply over being 2kg heavier, but knowing that if they don’t do something to combat that they’ll be 4kg heavier, then 6kg heavier and so on.

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:45

I'm just finding it genuinely so depressing there are people who feel fat on barely 10st. I'm 5ft2 and just under 10st with 0 body insecurity.

Hellometime · 20/04/2026 17:42

Most women will have a long and chequered history with dieting.
So what works in theory doesn’t on a body that has been subject to years of dieting is my guess.
I gained a lot of weight in my 30s, pregnancy then an autoimmune condition/steroids.
I then lost 5 stone but struggled to maintain in perimenopause. Before Christmas I hit obese bmi again and have really stuck to diet since. I weigh food and log everything. I’m aiming for bmi 25, no desire to be thin.
I took in board the women in late 40s need to do weights and joined gym and had pt coaching. Despite that all I did was gain weight in perimenopause.

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:41

MeridaBrave · 20/04/2026 17:36

I eat chia seeds, I eat nuts, I eat pulses, I eat loads of brocolli and cauli (easily eg 200g or more of both for dinner). Yes salad veg doesn’t have much.

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So not a true low carb diet then, I'm talking about the keto lot really!

Frequency · 20/04/2026 17:37

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 20/04/2026 17:34

But this is part of the problem (and I know Pilates isn't weight training but it does keep me flexible and help my sciatica) I have no weights and no access to a gym. So I'd have to buy sets of weights, find somewhere to keep them and then find more time to walk the dog (because of quitting half the running).

I know I need to do more weights, it's just opportunity and equipment that is lacking right now.

And I know that the exercise I do do helps with my weight, because if I have to not do it for a while (like injury) then the weight goes on even if I don't eat any more. So at present I am doing what I can and what works (for me) with lifestyle and time, and I will work in weights when I get the chance.

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If you're just starting out, bodyweight exercises will be fine. The key is to work close to failure, e.g., when your muscles start to shake, when your form starts to decline, and you know you're not gonna manage more than 3 more reps.

You can do this by adding weight or reps. You don't always have to go up weight; upping reps gives the same effect (although adding weight is more time-efficient if you're busy).

Facebook marketplace for cheap dumbbells, you can get adjustable ones if you're short on space.

MeridaBrave · 20/04/2026 17:36

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 20/04/2026 17:34

But this is part of the problem (and I know Pilates isn't weight training but it does keep me flexible and help my sciatica) I have no weights and no access to a gym. So I'd have to buy sets of weights, find somewhere to keep them and then find more time to walk the dog (because of quitting half the running).

I know I need to do more weights, it's just opportunity and equipment that is lacking right now.

And I know that the exercise I do do helps with my weight, because if I have to not do it for a while (like injury) then the weight goes on even if I don't eat any more. So at present I am doing what I can and what works (for me) with lifestyle and time, and I will work in weights when I get the chance.

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I’d recommend buying adjustable dumbbells and following Caroline Girvan or Sydney Cummings online.

Delatron · 20/04/2026 17:36

As in 1.5 grams of protein to 1kg of body weight.

MeridaBrave · 20/04/2026 17:36

Loomis · 20/04/2026 17:30

It very much really is, unless you are eating about 5kg a day of broccoli. As for "salad veg" - 100g each of romaine lettuce and cherry tomatoes only adds up to about 4g total so I struggle to believe you are getting in 30g fibre unless you are also eating legumes and seeds.

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I eat chia seeds, I eat nuts, I eat pulses, I eat loads of brocolli and cauli (easily eg 200g or more of both for dinner). Yes salad veg doesn’t have much.

Delatron · 20/04/2026 17:35

I would look at eating 1.5 times body weight in protein. So aiming more towards 100 grams.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 20/04/2026 17:34

MeridaBrave · 20/04/2026 17:28

I would cut the cardio down and increase the weight training. Pilates is not weight training. Trade the spinning and half the running for weight lifting - you already have the running for cardio (and even the running is too much). Once in have 6x 45 weight lifting (either gym machine or free weights but needs to be heavy) a week (and much more protein) you’ll see a massive difference in your body composition.

Show quote history

But this is part of the problem (and I know Pilates isn't weight training but it does keep me flexible and help my sciatica) I have no weights and no access to a gym. So I'd have to buy sets of weights, find somewhere to keep them and then find more time to walk the dog (because of quitting half the running).

I know I need to do more weights, it's just opportunity and equipment that is lacking right now.

And I know that the exercise I do do helps with my weight, because if I have to not do it for a while (like injury) then the weight goes on even if I don't eat any more. So at present I am doing what I can and what works (for me) with lifestyle and time, and I will work in weights when I get the chance.

MeridaBrave · 20/04/2026 17:32

menno · 20/04/2026 17:30

I could lift heavier weights. I have around 70g of protein a day,

Edited
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And could eat more protein as well to go with that. Would help you feel fuller as well.

Delatron · 20/04/2026 17:31

It may be the weights OP. If you just lift the same every time the body adapts. We need progressive overload and they need to be pretty heavy (for you).

Velvetandleather · 20/04/2026 17:31

menno · 20/04/2026 17:29

I walk a minimum of 10k steps a day, weight training 3-4 times a week. Today I have been for 2 walks and at nearly 14k steps. I can't do much more.

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Then you’re vastly under estimating your calories. Vastly. The body can’t fuel its self on air and no way your tdee is 1200, I suspect that’s your bmr.

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