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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I overreacting to BFs poor driving?

92 replies

WingsTingle · 19/04/2026 23:39

Still feeling really cross about an incident earlier today. Headed for a day out, his DS and my DD in the back of the car.
On the motorway, BF pulls into the outside lane to overtake a slower vehicle (fine), but then stays in the outside lane doing 70…
After several minutes, the driver behind flashes his headlights to signal my BF that he wants to pass.
BF becomes enraged and calls him a few choice names, holds his middle finger up to the driver behind on his rear view mirror and stays put.
After another few minutes, BF pulls into the middle lane and the car behind goes to overtake. BF decides to put his foot down, too, making it impossible for the car behind to complete his overtake. BF is laughing and jeering the whole time.
He eventually eases off and the car passes, we pull off the motorway, etc.
I think BF was a complete knob for his behaviour, and I feel very angry that he made the decision for everyone I. The car to behave in a stupid, dangerous manner.
BF can’t see the problem as ‘nothing happened’. AIBU?

OP posts:
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Original poster
WingsTingle · 21/04/2026 19:00

@SoSadSoSadSoSad I won’t be there to find out, but I hope he thinks twice in future 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
SoSadSoSadSoSad · 21/04/2026 18:56

until the next time then……

Original poster
WingsTingle · 21/04/2026 18:53

So… saw him this evening. Says he didn’t think what he did was that bad. Said he was driving to the speed limit and the guy behind got too close (he didn’t) and flashed his lights so he moved over - and ‘accelerated to 80 so the guy could get past him’… which doesn’t even make sense?!
The conversation didn’t last much longer than that - I told him there wasn’t much else to say as we didn’t agree so any “apology” he made would be meaningless.!

OP posts:
Holtome · 21/04/2026 14:45

It's not even "just" that he put you and DC lives at risk, it reveals his personality when he feels treatened/criticised/inferior.

It's only a matter of time before you "make" him behave like that too OP 😪

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 21/04/2026 14:42

Wolfiefan · 20/04/2026 11:05

Not everyone. Just those hard of reading. 😆

Incorrect. I hold professional level certification of proofreading and your phrasing was misleading and very poorly worded.

Badbadbunny · 21/04/2026 10:09

Sadworld23 · 20/04/2026 21:46

Op is your BF my DH on the quiet ?
That is exactly his behaviour in the car, and I abhor it.
He seems to think its fine and quite normal, and the language he uses in front of our DS3 is shameful.

Why do you put up with it??

Beachwalker66 · 21/04/2026 08:43

I would dump immediately

lovecheesymash · 21/04/2026 08:42

Incidents like this can quickly escalate and lead to confrontations, that in turn could end with awful or tragic consequences.
He needs to grow up.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 21/04/2026 04:59

I would already have texted him to dump him, then blocked him.

Next time you might not survive.

Inmyuggs · 21/04/2026 04:56

He needs to realise it is not a ego boost or a game.. the knob
I get men speeding up once theynsee me passing on a highway..it is pathetic..canyou take over driving or refuse to travek with him driving until he gorws up or kills someone.
Of course he see's no wrongnhe thinks hes clever...the rest of us do not!
If in doubt wonnder why!

SoSadSoSadSoSad · 21/04/2026 04:50

WingsTingle · 20/04/2026 23:07

I haven’t been able to bring myself to discuss it with him yet. He’s tried to message me as per normal through the day and I’ve felt too incensed to answer. He’s tried knows I’m upset, though, but hasn’t acknowledged anything and certainly not apologised. The more I recall it, the more pissed off I am - I also feel really sad to realise how little he actually cares for me

And? You’d feel sadder if he’d caused an accident which he will do eventually.

Pinkissmart · 21/04/2026 00:11

OP, why are you trying to work out his behaviour?

He is a grown man who consciously chooses to behave in a way that puts himself, his passengers (you- who he is supposed to care for!) and other road users at risk.
He has SHOWN YOU that he is reckless, and lacking in judgment.

This is not a good man.

Original poster
WingsTingle · 20/04/2026 23:07

I haven’t been able to bring myself to discuss it with him yet. He’s tried to message me as per normal through the day and I’ve felt too incensed to answer. He’s tried knows I’m upset, though, but hasn’t acknowledged anything and certainly not apologised. The more I recall it, the more pissed off I am - I also feel really sad to realise how little he actually cares for me

OP posts:
Sadworld23 · 20/04/2026 21:46

Op is your BF my DH on the quiet ?
That is exactly his behaviour in the car, and I abhor it.
He seems to think its fine and quite normal, and the language he uses in front of our DS3 is shameful.

lovecheesymash · 20/04/2026 15:32

Your bf is an immature Billybigbollocks.

Intensivedays · 20/04/2026 12:17

I would not wish to be a passenger in your boyfriend's car while he is driving, nor would I permit my child to be.

pizzaHeart · 20/04/2026 12:12

WingsTingle · 20/04/2026 00:08

Sorry @Wolfiefan @pizzaHeart the mention of ‘ex’ was in reference to a previous partner’s tendency to drive aggressively whenever he felt I’d slightest/ disappointed him in some way (he was a narcissist abuser…)

I might be wrong about what @Wolfiefan meant but I meant that from now on he would be my ex BF because of this so I wouldn’t need to travel with him anyway.
Im absolutely serious, this man is a dickhead of high degree.

icouldholditwithacobweb · 20/04/2026 11:20

Fuck, no. I cannot stand people who let their own egos and aggression rule their behaviour while driving. He put your life and your child's life at risk (not to mention everyone else on the road nearby) because he was so emotional he was making dangerous decisions. And now he's not even taking it seriously.

I would never allow him to drive me again - especially not after having a conversation about it, because his ego is probably going to take a hit and he may take the chance to drive like a cunt at every available opportunity to prove you wrong or show you he's right or whatever his stupid ego wants to do.

You can safely ignore the morons on this thread saying the driver who flashed their lights was a dick, probably none of those people should be driving either if they don't understand how to drive in overtaking lanes and that emotional drivers make bad decisions that compromise the safety of everyone else around them.

Wolfiefan · 20/04/2026 11:05

Not everyone. Just those hard of reading. 😆

Luckyingame · 20/04/2026 10:43

Doggodoggo · 19/04/2026 23:40

Men and their egos...

Having witnessed a multiple pile up on the M40 today I would not be getting into he car with him again. Ever.

Yes, this.
At least he could be able to drive properly, the raging idiot.

kscarpetta · 20/04/2026 10:28

Don't get in his car with him again and definitely don't put your child in his car.

Badbadbunny · 20/04/2026 10:24

HeddaGarbled · 20/04/2026 00:07

Though to be fair, the speed limit is 70 and the flashing headlights driver was the biggest dick.

Not at all. OP's boyfriend was cruising in an over-taking lane. The car behind was right to flash to "encourage" him to get out of the overtaking lane. Only one person at fault here and it's the boyfriend, particularly his actions afterwards which are highly dangerous.

Happyjoe · 20/04/2026 10:14

Nope, a no go for me. I would never get in the car with him again.

Ohnobackagain · 20/04/2026 10:06

I know from experience that people can change with regard to bad driving habits @WingsTingle so I hope that you and he can work this out and he can improve and be a better role model for both your kids. If not, I’d be finding it hard to continue the relationship.