My brother has two children, under 5. He is, for the most part, a very good and hands on dad. Does a lot of housework, school runs, shares time off work when they’re sick 50/50.
But he has a very nasty angry streak that has come out over the last year or so. I’ve seen it before, long before he had kids, usually when drunk. He seemed to have calmed down after having his first child.
My husband and I are child free by choice (at least for now), so I feel kind of out of place to say anything. But I’ve noticed he gets incredibly angry with his children. The eldest was at my house the other day and when he picked them up, they wouldn’t hug me goodbye. I knew that they had had a good day, was happy to have spent the day with me, etc etc. he shouted at them to the point the child was sobbing and I had to just put them in the car and walk away because it was too upsetting and I was afraid that I would say something unforgivable, and it deteriorate into a horrible situation all together.
Today, they came over again. The youngest ran into the road when it was time to go home. He shouted at them, again to the point even my husband was scared.
This seems to be happening more frequently and it’s always over things children just do - not wanting to go home, not wanting to give a hug or a kiss, being generally a little bit annoying. But it’s getting to the point that I’m starting to get concerned for everyone’s safety. I don’t think he would ever do anything physical, but it’s obviously not something you can ever guarantee. I’m thinking of framing it in a “is everything okay, as I’ve noticed your temperament has changed” way, as opposed to “you’re far too angry” way, because I think that would just inflame tensions. But I also think, I have no idea what it’s like to have kids and the stresses parents are under, so it’s not my place to say anything. WIBU to say something?